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| 2021/02/18 05:02:57瀏覽361｜回應0｜推薦7 | |
| 【書摘】女逃亡者—阿爾貝蒂娜之死 (Albertine’s death) 3-1 Je n’avais plus qu’un espoir pour l’avenir – espoir bien plus déchirant qu’une crainte, – c’était d’oublier Albertine. Je savais que je l’oublierais un jour, j’avais bien oublié Gilberte, Mme de Guermantes, j’avais bien oublié ma grand’mère. Et c’est notre plus juste et plus cruel châtiment de l’oubli si total, paisible comme ceux des cimetières, par quoi nous nous sommes détachés de ceux que nous n’aimons plus, que nous entrevoyions ce même oubli comme inévitable à l’égard de ceux que nous aimons encore. À vrai dire nous savons qu’il est un état non douloureux, un état d’indifférence. Mais ne pouvant penser à la fois à ce que j’étais et à ce que je serais, je pensais avec désespoir à tout ce tégument de caresses, de baisers, de sommeils amis, dont il faudrait bientôt me laisser dépouiller pour jamais. (l’édition Gallimard, Paris, 1946-47) 我此刻對未來只抱著一個希望——一個比恐懼更令人心碎的希望，——那就是忘掉阿爾貝蒂娜。我明白我總有一天會忘掉她的，我確曾忘掉過希爾貝特，忘掉過德‧蓋爾芒特夫人，我也確曾忘掉過我的外祖母。忘卻得如此徹底，忘卻得如此平靜，就像把墓地忘得一乾二淨一樣，通過這樣的忘卻我們擺脫了我們已經不愛的人，而且隱約意識到這樣的忘卻對我們還在愛戀的人似乎也是不可避免的，這樣的忘卻正是對我們最公正最殘酷的懲罰。老實說，我很清楚這種忘卻是一種毫不痛苦的狀態，一種無動於衷的狀態。然而我不能同時想我現在和我未來是什麼樣子，我便絕望地追憶著我們撫愛、親吻和友愛地共枕這一系列我用不了多久就不得不永遠失掉的表面現象。 (p.68 追憶似水年華 VI 女逃亡者 聯經版 1992) I had now only one hope left for the future—a hope far more heartrending than any dread—which was that I might forget Albertine. I knew that I should one day forget her; I had quite forgotten Gilberte, Mme. de Guermantes; I had quite forgotten my grandmother. And it is our most fitting and most cruel punishment, for that so complete oblivion, as tranquil as the oblivion of the graveyard, by which we have detached ourself from those whom we no longer love, that we can see this same oblivion to be inevitable in the case of those whom we love still. To tell the truth, we know it to be a state not painful, a state of indifference. But not being able to think at the same time of what I was and of what I should one day be, I thought with despair of all that covering mantle of caresses, of kisses, of friendly slumber, of which I must presently let myself be divested for all time. (Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff) I had one single hope for the future, a hope much more poignant than a fear — which Was to forget Albertine. I knew that I would forget her one day, I had after all forgotten Gilberte, Mme de Guermantes, and even my grandmother. And our most just and cruel punishment for the forgetting, as absolute and silent as that of the grave, .which detaches us from those whom we no longer love, is that we should sense this same act of forgetting to be inevitable even in respect of those whom we do still love. To tell the truth, we know that it is a painless state, a state of indifference. But not being able to link simultaneously what I was then and what I would become, I thought in despair of this whole integument of kisses, caresses and friendly slumber, which I would soon have to shed for ever. (Translated by Peter Collier) |
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| ( 知識學習｜隨堂筆記 ) |
