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| 2020/12/03 05:17:16瀏覽275｜回應0｜推薦4 | |
| 【書摘】女逃亡者—阿爾貝蒂娜的出走 (Albertines departure) 4-1 Mais, en réalité, en me disant Paris, Amsterdam, Montjouvain, c’est-à-dire plusieurs lieux, je pensais à des lieux qui n’étaient que possibles. Aussi, quand la concierge d’Albertine répondit qu’elle était partie en Touraine, cette résidence que je croyais désirer me sembla la plus affreuse de toutes, parce que celle-là était réelle et que pour la première fois, torturé par la certitude du présent et l’incertitude de l’avenir, je me représentais Albertine commençant une vie qu’elle avait voulue séparée de moi, peut-être pour longtemps, peut-être pour toujours, et où elle réaliserait cet inconnu qui autrefois m’avait si souvent troublé, alors que pourtant j’avais le bonheur de posséder, de caresser ce qui en était le dehors, ce doux visage impénétrable et capté. C’était cet inconnu qui faisait le fond de mon amour. (l’édition Gallimard, Paris, 1946-47) 不過說實在的，我口頭說出巴黎、阿姆斯特丹，蒙舒凡這許多地方，我心裡想的卻是一些她真正可能去的地方；因此，當阿爾貝蒂娜的門房回答說她已去了土蘭時，這個我自以為希望她去的住處倒似乎變得比所有的地方都更可惜了，原因是她去那裡已確實成了事實，在對現實確信不疑和對未來毫無把握的雙重煎熬下，我第一次想像阿爾貝蒂娜已開始了她夢寐以求的獨立於我的生活，也許會長期，也許永遠，在這樣的生活裡她也許會變成一個未知數，從前我老是被這個未知數弄得心緒不寧，而同時我又有幸佔有和撫摸屬於這未知數的外形的東西，也就是那難以捉摸的被我得到的溫柔面龐。正是這未知數構成了我愛情的基礎。 (p.14 追憶似水年華 VI 女逃亡者 聯經版 1992) But in reality when I said to myself Paris, Amsterdam, Montjouvain, that is to say various names of places, I was thinking of places which were merely potential. And so, when Albertine’s hall porter informed me that she had gone to Touraine, this place of residence which I supposed myself to desire seemed to me the most terrible of them all, because it was real, and because, tormented for the first time by the certainty of the present and the uncertainty of the future, I pictured to myself Albertine starting upon a life which she had deliberately chosen to lead apart from myself, perhaps for a long time, perhaps for ever, and in which she would realise that unknown element which in the past had so often distressed me when, nevertheless, I had enjoyed the happiness of possessing, of caressing what was its outer shell, that charming face impenetrable and captive. It was this unknown element that formed the core of my love. (Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff) But in fact as I thought of Paris, Amsterdam Montjouvain, that is, a variety of places, I was thinking of places which were no more than possible; so when Albertines concierge replied that she had left for Touraine, the location which I had thought I preferred seemed to me the most awful of all, because it was real and because for the first time, tortured by the certainty of the present and the uncertainty of the future, I could visualize Albertine starting a life intentionally separate from me, perhaps for some time, perhaps for ever, and a life where she would attain that unknown which had formerly so often disturbed me, even though I was lucky enough to possess and to caress what lay outside, her sweet, captive, impenetrable face. It was this unknown which lay at the heart of my love. (Translated by Peter Collier) |
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| ( 知識學習｜隨堂筆記 ) |
