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| 2020/12/02 05:15:08瀏覽384｜回應0｜推薦8 | |
| 【書摘】女逃亡者—阿爾貝蒂娜的出走 (Albertines departure) 3-2 Hélas,! je ne m’y étais jamais assis, avant cette minute, que quand Albertine était encore là. Aussi je ne pus y rester, je me levaii; et ainsi à chaque instant il y avait quelqu’un des innombrables et humbles « moi » qui nous composent qui était ignorant encore du départ d’Albertine et à qui il fallait le notifieri...À chacun j’avais à apprendre mon chagrin, le chagrin qui n’est nullement une conclusion pessimiste librement tirée d’un ensemble de circonstances funestes, mais la reviviscence intermittente et involontaire d’une impression spécifique, venue du dehors, et que nous n’avons pas choisie. Il y avait quelques-uns de ces « moi » que je n’avais pas revus depuis assez longtemps. Par exemple (je n’avais pas songé que c’était le jour du coiffeur), le « moi » que j’étais quand je me faisais couper les cheveux. J’avais oublié ce « moi » – là, son arrivée fit éclater mes sanglots, comme à un enterrement, celle d’un vieux serviteur retraité qui a connu celle qui vient de mourir. Puis je me rappelai tout d’un coup que depuis huit jours j’avais par moments été pris de peurs paniques que je ne m’étais pas avouées. (l’édition Gallimard, Paris, 1946-47) 唉！在這一刹那之前，一向只有阿爾貝蒂娜在我身邊時我才會坐在這裡。所以我此刻再也不能留在這裡了，我站了起來；這一來，每時每刻都有一個組成無數個微不足道的「我」中的成員還不知道阿爾貝蒂娜已經出走了，必須將這事通報他......我有必要向每一個人通報我的悲傷，這種悲傷絕不是從那些令人沮喪的總的情況裡任意得出的悲觀的結論，而是一種特殊印象的斷斷續續的不由自主的復蘇，這種印象自外而來而且不是由我們自己選擇的。在這些「我」中，有幾個我已經好長時間沒有見到了。例如 (我沒有想到今天是我理髮的日子)，理髮時的「我」。我早已把這個「我」置諸腦後了，這個「我」的到來引起了我一陣嗚咽，有如一個早已退休的僕人來到剛死去的主人的葬禮上。我隨即猛然回想起，一星期以來，我有時突然驚恐萬狀，而我對自己卻不承認這種恐懼。 (p.12~13 追憶似水年華 VI 女逃亡者 聯經版 1992) Alas, I had never sat down upon any of them until this minute save when Albertine was still with me. And so I could not remain sitting there, I rose; and thus, at every moment there was one more of those innumerable and humble ‘selves’ that compose our personality which was still unaware of Albertine’s departure and must be informed of it…To each of them I had to relate my grief, the grief which is in no way a pessimistic conclusion freely drawn from a number of lamentable circumstances, but is the intermittent and involuntary revival of a specific impression, come to us from without and not chosen by us. There were some of these ‘selves’ which I had not encountered for a long time past. For instance (I had not remembered that it was the day on which the barber called) the ‘self that I was when I was having my hair cut. I had forgotten this ‘self,’ the barber’s arrival made me burst into tears, as, at a funeral, does the appearance of an old pensioned servant who has not forgotten the deceased. Then all of a sudden I recalled that, during the last week, I had from time to time been seized by panic fears which I had not confessed to myself. (Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff) Alas! Before this moment I had never sat in one except in Albertines presence. So I could not stay seated, I got back on to my feet; and thus at every moment, I had to meet one of those countless, humble selves that compose us who had not yet learnt of Albertines departure and inform them of it…each one of them in turn needed to hear these words for the first time Albertine asked for her trunk—that coffin-shaped trunk which I had seen loaded into the carriage at Balbec along with my mothers luggage— Albertine has left. I had to inform every one of them of my sorrow, that sorrow which is not at all a pessimistic conclusion freely drawn from a collection of sinister circumstances, but the intermittent and involuntary revival of a specific impression externally provoked rather than chosen by us. Some of these selves I had not seen for quite a while. For instance (I had not realized that it was the day for the barber to call) the self that I was when I had my hair cut, I had forgotten that self, his arrival made me burst out sobbing as would the arrival at a funeral of an old, retired servant who, knew the lady who has just died. Then all of a sudden I remembered that over the last week had been seized from time to time by panic attacks, which I had not admitted to myself. (Translated by Peter Collier) |
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| ( 知識學習｜隨堂筆記 ) |
