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【書摘】在斯萬家那邊—希爾貝特 (Gilberte) 5
2014/06/27 22:09:53瀏覽256|回應0|推薦6
【書摘】在斯萬家那邊希爾貝特 (Gilberte) 5
Mais les sentiments que je ressentais pour elle, moi-même je ne les lui avais pas encore déclarés. Certes, à toutes les pages de mes cahiers, j’écrivais indéfiniment son nom et son adresse, mais à la vue de ces vagues lignes que je traçais sans qu’elle pensât pour cela à moi, qui lui faisaient prendre autour de moi tant de place apparente sans qu’elle fût mêlée davantage à ma vie, je me sentais découragé parce qu’elles ne me parlaient pas de Gilberte qui ne les verrait même pas, mais de mon propre désir qu’elles semblaient me montrer comme quelque chose de purement personnel, d’irréel, de fastidieux et d’impuissant.
(Éditions Gallimard, 1987)

但我對她的感情,我自己還沒有向她傾訴過。當然,在我每一本練習本的每一頁上,我都寫滿了她的名字和她的住址,但當我看到我潦潦草草地勾畫而她並不因此而想起我的這些字行,它們使她在我周圍占了這麼多顯而易見的地位而她並不因此而進一步介入我的生活,我不禁感到洩氣,因為這些字行所表示的並不是連看都看不見它們的希爾貝特,而是我自己的願望,因此它們在我心目中就顯得是純粹主觀的、不現實的、枯燥乏味的,產生不了成果的東西。
(p.433 追憶似水年華 I 在斯萬家那邊 聯經版 1992)

不過,我對她懷有的這些感情,我自己也還沒有向她表白過。誠然,在我那些練習本的每一頁上,我都沒完沒了地寫著她的名字、她的地址,可是瞧著這些潦草的字迹,這些我再怎麼寫她也不會因此想我,這些讓她在我身旁占據了那麼明顯的位置而她卻並沒因此進一步介入我生活的名字,我感到很泄氣,因為從中可以看到的並不是吉爾貝特,她甚至根本不會見到它們,從中可以看到的只是我自己的想望,它們彷彿在向我顯示,這種想望純粹是些主觀的、不現實的、很乏味的、一無所用的東西。
(p.444
追尋逝去的時光 I 去斯萬家那邊 上海譯文版 周克希譯 2004)

But my feelings with regard to her I had never yet ventured to express to her in words. Of course, on every page of my exercise-books, I wrote out, in endless repetition, her name and address, but at the sight of those vague lines which I might trace, without her having to think, on that account, of me, I felt discouraged, because they spoke to me, not of Gilberte, who would never so much as see them, but of my own desire, which they seemed to show me in its true colours, as something purely personal, unreal, tedious and ineffective.
(Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff )

But the feelings I had for her, I myself had not yet declared to her. Certainly, on every page of my notebooks I copied out her name and address endlessly, but at the sight of those indeterminate lines which I wrote without inducing her to think any more about me because of that, which made her take up so much apparent space around me without being any more involved in my life, I felt discouraged because they spoke to me not of Gilberte, who would not even see them, but of my own desire, which they seemed to show me as something purely personal, unreal, tedious, and impotent.
(Translated by Lydia Davis)



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