「手足」的功課從來沒有寫在私塾的學習課表上，可是，當私塾大弟子想要與人談說私塾生活心得的時候，她竟然把這個主題擺在前面。

          夫人知道。這的確是她下過苦功，而且年年必修，卻沒有指導老師的一門艱深的課。

          因為付過代價，她嚐到豐收。

          有次，妹妹租了一個看過好幾次的電影光碟，播放前，大弟子有些抱怨，說那電影實在看過太多次了。夫人就建議她到令外一個房間看她喜歡的光碟，卻被她拒絕。

          「有甚麼比和兄弟姊妹窩在一起看電影更享受的事呢？」13歲的她說：「即使是看過四五遍，一起看，還是很享受！」

          這是大弟子心中的手足，與所有父母，和家有兄弟姊妹的小朋友們一起分享。

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“We know one another's faults, virtues, catastrophes, mortifications, triumphs, rivalries, desires, and how long we can each hang by our hands to a bar. We have been banded together under pack codes and tribal laws.” Rose Macaulay

They’ve seen you crying and screaming, laughing and loving, at your worst, and at your best.

Who are they?

Your siblings.

No matter how close a friend gets, they’ll (hopefully) never be on the receiving end of your temper tantrums.

No matter how long a parent guides you, he/she’ll never understand why you’re suddenly furious after a seemingly harmless invasion of privacy.

Yes, siblings have seen us in every possible situation, and vice versa.

So, to celebrate our infinite closeness, we fight, argue, and start World War III in our homes.

Why?

Bring out the Cannons

Reason #1: They’re always there

No matter how loud your fights, how cruel your words, how angry you feel, at the end of the day, your siblings will still be there.

A friend can stop being a friend.

A boss can fire you.

A boy/girlfriend can dump you.

But no matter how hard you try to get away from each other, you and your siblings live in the same house. You share bathrooms, (sometimes) bedrooms, kitchens, clothes, and books.

They’re there.

And most of us take it for granted.

Reason #2: They’re always there

You could be paired with the kindest, sweetest, most easygoing person on the planet, but if you spend enough time with them, you’ll start to get on each other’s nerves. To put it simply, your siblings spend your infancy, childhood, and teenage years together. Sometimes, you just want to get away.

In a single house, however, this can be difficult.

I share a room, and know firsthand how annoying it can be when you just want to scream into your pillow—and he or she walks through the doors.

Privacy in a full house is difficult—sometimes impossible, which can be extremely frustrating.

When you start home-schooling, you’ll spend even more time together.

And there’ll be times when it’s crucial for you to spend some “me” time.

By yourself.

Alone.

Be creative. Your house is not as small as you think it is.

Are your parents in their rooms during the day? Probably not.

Is there a balcony you can go to, a backyard where you can relax, an unoccupied room?

Find such a place.

Your siblings love you, and deep inside, you know that your life wouldn’t be the same without them.

It’s just hard to see this after being with them for three days straight.

Reason #3: They don’t always like you.

When you ask a friend to stop humming, they’ll probably do it.

Why?

Friendships are born on a mutual attraction between two people.

In other words, you have to like your friends, or else they’re not really your friends.

When you like someone, you do things for them.

On the other hand, your siblings don’t always like you.

They still love you, but “loving” something is very different from “liking” someone.

Love doesn’t involve your feelings. It’s a decision, way of life. When you love someone, you’ll protect them. You’ll defend them. You’ll beat up anyone who messes with them. That does not mean you’ll be nice to them.

Of course, it shouldn’t be that way. 1 Corinthians 13, the famous “love” chapter, states that love is kind.

Unfortunately, siblings aren’t always kind.

They’re more inclined to keep humming instead of stopping—with renewed vigor.

Then, it’s your turn to do something.

You can threaten them, yell at them, or physically go over there and force them to stop humming.

However, none of this, (not even the last one), will have a lasting result.

What will?

Change in your own behavior.

Be honest.

Are you rude when you ask them to stop?

Sometimes, a simple “please” does the trick, or a shift in tone.

If they still won’t stop, leave the room. Don’t cause a confrontation.

If you stop giving them reasons not to like you, they won’t.

From Foe to Friend

What does this have to do with home-schooling?

Everything.

You see, while peace between siblings isn’t necessary only for home-schooling families, it’s necessary especially for home-schooling families. How long do you have to be with a classmate that you can’t stand? Five or six hours? Two or three? Even less? After that, you can go home and leave them behind.

However, if you can’t stand your siblings, there’s no escape. You don’t get a break.

That’s why learning to get along is so important.

You can’t learn if your thoughts are consumed with anger.

You can’t study if you swamped with the desire to kill the person next to you.

You can’t survive in an environment where the tiniest thing can lead to a full out scream-fest.

Your siblings can be your worst enemies, or your best friends.

Home-schooling can bring you closer together, or tear you apart.

Remember, it won’t be easy. In order to see change in your relationship with your siblings, you have to change first.

It doesn’t matter if you’re right, or if you’re the one who’s constantly being yelled at.

Don’t yell back. Don’t argue. Don’t insist.

Your siblings will eventually come around.

Your parents will have a well-deserved break.

And you’ll earn a friend that will be with you forever.