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| 2016/06/06 05:29:59瀏覽251｜回應0｜推薦13 | |
| 【書摘】在少女們身旁—與少女們的情誼 (Friendship with Girls) 1 Ce n’était pas seulement une matinée mondaine, une promenade avec Mme de Villeparisis que j’eusse sacrifiées au « furet » ou aux « devinettes » de mes amies. À plusieurs reprises Robert de Saint-Loup me fit dire que puisque je n’allais pas le voir à Doncières, il avait demandé une permission de vingt-quatre heures et la passerait à Balbec. Chaque fois je lui écrivis de n’en rien faire, en invoquant l’excuse d’être obligé de m’absenter justement ce jour-là pour aller remplir dans le voisinage un devoir de famille avec ma grand-mère. Sans doute me jugea-t-il mal en apprenant par sa tante en quoi consistait le devoir de famille et quelles personnes tenaient en l’espèce le rôle de grand’mère. Et pourtant je n’avais peut-être pas tort de sacrifier les plaisirs non seulement de la mondanité, mais de l’amitié, à celui de passer tout le jour dans ce jardin. Les êtres qui en ont la possibilité – il est vrai que ce sont les artistes et j’étais convaincu depuis longtemps que je ne le serais jamais – ont aussi le devoir de vivre pour eux-mêmes ; or l’amitié leur est une dispense de ce devoir, une abdication de soi. (l’édition Gallimard, Paris, 1946-47) 我為這些女友的「環坐猜物集體遊戲」或「猜謎語」所犧牲的，還不僅僅是一次白日交際聚會，與德‧維爾巴里西斯夫人的一次散步之類。有好幾次，羅貝爾‧德‧聖盧叫人告訴我，既然我不到東錫埃爾去看他，他可以請二十四小時的假，到巴爾貝克來看我。每次我都寫信給他，叫他千萬不要這樣做，我的藉口是我那天正好不在，我要同外祖母到附近什麼地方去看親戚。他從自己的姑祖母那裡得知這是我的什麼親戚，扮演我外祖母角色的到底是何人時，肯定對我看法不好。不過，我不僅犧牲了交際活動的快樂，而且也犧牲了友情的歡樂，去選擇終日在花園中徜徉的快樂，大概沒有錯。有這種可能性的人——他們都是藝術家，這倒是真的，而我早就確信自己永遠也成不了藝術家了——也有義務為自己生活。友情對你們來說，是對這種義務的支出，是放棄自我。 (p.521~522 追憶似水年華 II 在少女們身旁 聯經版 1992) 跟這些女友一起玩「傳戒指」、猜謎遊戲，我犧牲的豈止是社交聚會和陪德‧維爾巴里西斯夫人乘車出遊呢。羅貝爾‧德‧聖盧好幾次讓人帶話給我，說既然我沒空到冬西埃爾去看他，他可以請二十四小時假，到巴爾貝克來看我。但我每次都寫信給他，要他千萬別這樣做，我的藉口是那天我正好要和外婆到鄰近的地方去探望親戚，所以不在巴爾貝克。等他從姑媽那裡得知那是我的什麼親戚，我說的外婆其實是誰，他大概會覺得我這人很差勁。不過，我不光是犧牲了社交的樂趣，而且犧牲了友情的樂趣，就為了能終日待在這個花園裡，這也許並不算錯。但凡能夠做到為自己活著的人——沒錯，這樣的人都是藝術家，而我早就死了心，知道自己做不了藝術家——都有責任這麼做；而友情，對他們而言意味著免除這個責任，意味著放棄自我。 (p.295~296 追尋逝去的時光 II 在少女花影下 第二部 上海譯文版 周克希譯 2004) It was not merely a social engagement, a drive with Mme. de Villeparisis, that I would have sacrificed to the ‘Ferret’ or ‘Guessing Games’ of my friends. More than once, Robert de Saint-Loup had sent word that, since I was not coming to see him at Doncières, he had applied for twenty-four hours’ leave, which he would spend at Balbec. Each time I wrote back that he was on no account to come, offering the excuse that I should be obliged to be away myself that very day, when I had some duty call to pay with my grandmother on family friends in the neighbourhood. No doubt I fell in his estimation when he learned from his aunt in what the ‘duty call’ consisted, and who the persons were who combined to play the part of my grandmother. And yet I had not been wrong, perhaps, after all, in sacrificing not only the vain pleasures of the world but the real pleasure of friendship to that of spending the whole day in this green garden. People who enjoy the capacity—it is true that such people are artists, and I had long been convinced that I should never be that—are also under an obligation to live for themselves. And friendship is a dispensation from this duty, an abdication of self. (Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff) Fashionable gatherings and Mme de Villeparisis’s invitations to carriage outings were not the only pastimes I was willing to sacrifice to my games of ring-on-a-string and riddles with the girls. Robert de Saint-Loup had several times sent me word that, since I never went to visit him at Doncières, he had requested twenty-four hours’ leave to come to Balbec. On each of these occasions I wrote to put him off, inventing the excuse of a family visit I said I was obliged to make that very day with my grandmother. He must have thought badly of me when he learned from his aunt the nature of this family visit and the identity of the people who were my grandmother for the occasion. Yet, in sacrificing not just the joys of foregathering with the fashionable, but the joys of friendship too, to the pleasure of dallying the whole day in this lovely garden, perhaps I was not ill advised. Those who have the opportunity to live for themselves－hey are artists, of course, and I was long since convinced that I would never be one－also have the duty to do so; and for them, friendship is a dereliction of that duty, a form of self-abdication. (Translated by James Grieve) |
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| ( 知識學習｜隨堂筆記 ) |
