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| 2014/07/26 16:44:48瀏覽271｜回應0｜推薦6 | |
| 【書摘】在斯萬家那邊—希爾貝特 (Gilberte) 12 Quand elle m’assurait parfois qu’elle m’aimait moins qu’un de ses amis, moins qu’elle ne m’aimait la veille, parce que je lui avais fait perdre sa partie par une négligence, je lui demandais pardon, je lui demandais ce qu’il fallait faire pour qu’elle recommençât à m’aimer autant, pour qu’elle m’aimât plus que les autres ; je voulais qu’elle me dît que c’était déjà fait, je l’en suppliais comme si elle avait pu modifier son affection pour moi à son gré, au mien, pour me faire plaisir, rien que par les mots qu’elle dirait, selon ma bonne ou ma mauvaise conduite. Ne savais-je donc pas que ce que j’éprouvais, moi, pour elle, ne dépendait ni de ses actions, ni de ma volonté ? (Éditions Gallimard, 1987) 她有幾次對我說，她更喜歡另一個男朋友，或者她已經不像頭天那麼喜歡我，因為我粗心大意而叫她在遊戲時輸了一盤，我就向她道歉，問她該怎麼辦才能重得她往日的歡心，使她喜歡我有過於任何別人；我希望她對我說她喜歡我本來就有過於別人；我懇求她說這句話，彷彿她可以隨她高興或者隨我高興，僅僅憑她根據我的行為是好是壞而說出來的幾句話，就能隨意變動她對我的感情似的。難道我那時不知道，我自己對她的感情既不取決於她的行為，也不取決於我的意志嗎？ (p.445 追憶似水年華 I 在斯萬家那邊 聯經版 1992) 她有好幾次對我說，她更愛的不是我，而是另外一個男生，或者她不像前一天那麼愛我了，因為我隨隨便便地讓她輸了一局，我跟她對不起，問她我該怎麼做她才能重新愛我，才能愛我勝過愛別人；我希望她回答我說本來就是這樣麼，我在心裡央求她這麼說，彷彿她只要看我做壞了還是做好了，隨便說上一句話，就能使她對我的感情順她的意，或者順我的意而改變，讓我沮喪或者高興。莫非我當時真的不知道，我對她的感覺是由不得她怎樣做，也由不得我的意願來決定的？ (p.456 追尋逝去的時光 I 去斯萬家那邊 上海譯文版 周克希譯 2004) When she assured me (as sometimes happened) that she liked me less than some other of her friends, less than she had liked me the day before, because by my clumsiness I had made her side lose a game, I would beg her pardon, I would beg her to tell me what I must do in order that she should begin again to like me as much as, or more than the rest; I hoped to hear her say that that was already my position; I besought her; as though she had been able to modify her affection for me as she or I chose, to give me pleasure, merely by the words that she would utter, as my good or bad conduct should deserve. Was I, then, not yet aware that what I felt, myself, for her, depended neither upon her actions nor upon my desires? (Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff ) When she assured me from time to time that she liked me less than one of her other friends, less than she had liked me the day before because I had made her lose the game through my carelessness, I would ask her to forgive me, I would ask her what I should do so that she would begin to like me again as much as the others, so that she would like me more than them; I wanted her to tell me that it was already done, I begged her for it as if she could change her affection for me as she wished, as I wished, in order to please me, merely by the words that she would say, depending on my good or my bad behavior. Did I not know, then, that what I myself felt, for her, depended neither on her actions nor on my own will? (Translated by Lydia Davis) |
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| ( 知識學習｜隨堂筆記 ) |
