This was a talk at 1800 at work, when  everyone's work mode had shifted into "ready to go home, watch the time fly for another hour and clock out."

"...yeah, just SINCE WHEN that I have become everyone's bank account?" I started complaining among 3 women here. Maria, Mellisa and yours sincerely Moi were sitting in my nursing zone, chit-chatting waiting the time go by. Just because I have a nurse's paycheck does NOT mean I can afford buying all the cutesy stuff for my girlfriends at work whenever they want something. We were planning on taking Mellisa's 3 young kids to Chicago.

"What are you talking about?" Maria asked me with a "yeah-right" look on the face.

"I'm saying that I have my own problems to deal with. I have MY OWN bills to pay. Thats what I'm talking about. I can NOT be anybody's bank account...." I started to share the story of mine.

"...and before DC puts my name on the morgage paper, I'll always work for the rainy days...you know? He always wants to give the house to his daughter. He thinks I have not seen through this?!" I continued, with my voice raising up a little higher.

"WHAT?!" Maria mouthed this word and then covered her mouth right away.

"Yup, I know he wants to give the house to his daughter. But you know what, I will NEVER let that day happen." At this moment, I think everyone could hear me even they were not in my zone. "I am ENTITLED to this god d*mn piece of property after 7 LONG YEARS togehter! Well, ok lets say even if I do NOT need this house, and I think at this moment of my life I can afford a house without a man's help, I AM ENTITLED to this house. And he can NOT deny my right....." I carried on why I cannot be anyone's bank account.

"You know this is why I HAVE TO have my freedom." I think I just have Maria started. "I divorced because I WANT the things the way I want it, when I want it and how I want it..." Wow. "...see, if I wanted to go with friends after work for a drink, I'd call my husband saying 'well, honey i'm going out with friends tonight. Will it be ok?' with an almost apologetic tone of voice..." A DISGUST look on Maria's face.

"And he did NOT even pay for the drink. YOU paid yourself. And YOU have to call him that way?!?!" now the disgust look came to my face and my voice. "He better not ask me where the dinner is, because he gotta fix his own dinner. I'll be out for a drink after work. period." I continued. Mellisa has always been a good mother and wife. She had an appalling look on her face though.   

"...like you are supposed to fix the dinner." Maria said. "Thats right. I am NOT supposed to do anything. If I do it because I want to. If I don't, you will have to appreciate it when I do." WOW. "Men are pain in the butt. Or its just my man?" I started to be sentimental."All men are like that." Mellisa sighed. "My husband does not want to do anything or go anywhere." That is Mellisa's 3 kids we were talking about taking to Chicago.

"...and that was the day when I received my nursing license by mail and the same year I became a citizen, I told DC right in his face that if I'm staying (in this relationship) because I want to. If I don't, that'll be the day I leave. And NOBODY can get me out of this D*MN house!" A marriage can NOT guarntee anyting. 3 women here all realized it at this point.

Then nightshift came. I gave report and clocked out.

DC opened the door for me as usual when I opened the garage. "Guess what I bought you, hon?" I kind of glanced the package sitting on the kitchen counter a minute before he came to the kitchen.

"Hmm, heating blanket?" I said.

"Oh, you looked! Well, it also VIBRATES. Duuuuu." DC then had the weird smile on the face. Thats almost there is on the face whenever he describes anything that vibrates.

"Ohhhh, thank you honey." I gave him a hug.

"And here is a card." he said.

"Ohhhhhhhh, now I am offically an asshole. I did not prepare anything for you, babe." I was embarrassed matter of fact.

The card reads, "For my wife..Sometimes I just don't have the words to tell you what I'm feeling. Sometimes I lose touch with what you need from me. But I want you to know that I love you very deeply. And I care about what you need from me. More than anything else, I want you to feel loved. Happy Valentine's Day. signed Love D. "

WOW. Its a beautiful card. I almost wanted to cry. After a rage talk with my coworkers about how unloving my husband is. He gave me the thing I need and the words I want. I officially am an asshole, I think.