與妻訣別書 林覺民 作

                                   Translated by Retiredbum (in tears)

意映卿卿如晤：

Yi-ying, my love, you are as vivid in my mind as I behold you in person.

吾今以此書與汝永別矣！吾作此書，淚珠和筆墨齊下，不能竟書，而欲擱筆！

These are the last words I’ve ever written you. In writing, my tears so mingled with ink that I could hardly finished this letter.

又恐汝不察吾衷，謂吾忍舍汝而死，謂吾不知汝之不欲吾死也，故遂忍悲為汝言之。

But I was afraid that you, without knowing my heart, would blame me for letting you live alone, and blame me for not knowing you won’t let me die, so in deep agony I forced myself so hard to finish the letter.

吾至愛汝，即此愛汝一念，使吾勇於就死也。吾自遇汝以來，常願天下有情人都成眷屬；

The very notion of my deepest devotion to you makes me dare to die. Ever since I met you, I’ve been wishing all loving couples could build up a family of their own.

然遍地腥羶，滿街狼犬，稱心快意，幾家能夠？語云：「仁者老吾老以及人之老，幼吾幼以及人之幼。」

However, under the circumstance being full of brutalities and jackals everywhere, how many couples are able to have a happy ending? As the saying goes, “People of benevolence tend to not only their parents but also others’, tend to not only their off springs but also others’.”

吾充吾愛汝之心，助天下人愛其所愛，所以敢先汝而死，不顧汝也。

I’ve converted my love for you into others, helping them love their beloved, so I dare to die first and leave you alone.

汝體吾此心，於啼泣之餘，亦以天下人為念，當亦樂犧牲吾身與汝身之福利，為天下人謀永福也。汝其勿悲！

I hope you could likewise feel the same compassion for others who are suffering, sacrificing your happiness and mine for everybody else’s happiness. Please don’t be just crying; please overcome your grief over me!

汝憶否？四、五年前某夕，吾嘗語曰：「與其使我先死也，無寧汝先吾而死。」

Do you remember? About four or five years ago you were mad at me at first when I said that I’d rather you die ahead of me than I die first.

汝初聞言而怒；後經吾婉解，雖不謂吾言為是，而亦無辭相答。吾之意，

Subsequent to my soft explanation, you couldn’t disapprove of what I was saying, although you reluctantly accepted it.

蓋謂以汝之弱，必不能禁失吾之悲。吾先死，留苦與汝，吾心不忍，故寧請汝先死，吾擔悲也。

What I was trying to say is you are so feeble that you can’t stand up to losing me. If I die first I’ll leave the pain to you, which I have not the heart to; so I prefer you die first, and let me have all the sadness.

嗟夫！誰知吾卒先汝而死乎！

But alas! Heaven knows that eventually I die ahead of you do!

吾真真不能忘汝也。回憶後街之屋，入門穿廊，過前後廳，又三、四折，有小廳，廳旁一室，為吾與汝雙棲之所。

I really, really cannot forget you. Reminiscences brought me back to our private bedroom in the backyard, the one beside a den sinuously leading to the front and the back parlors, then to the porch and the gate.

初婚三、四月，適冬之望日前後，窗外疏梅篩月影，依稀掩映。

Around the 15^th day of March or April when we were just married, the shadow of sparse plum blossoms outside the window were interwoven with moonlight.

吾與汝並肩攜手，低低切切，何事不語？何情不訴？及今思之，空餘淚痕。

You and I sat side by side, hand in hand, whispering sweet nothings, everything. But now nothing has left for us except tear stains.

又回憶六、七年前，吾之逃家復歸也，汝泣告我：「望今後有遠行，必以具告，我願隨君行。」吾亦既許汝矣。

I also recall that six or seven years ago when I came back home with an untold runaway from you, you sobbed, “If you ever roam about again, please tell me, and I’ll go with you.” And I promised.

前十餘日回家，即欲乘便以此行之事語汝；

Ten more days ago when I returned home I wanted to tell you the action I am going to take.

及與汝對，又不能啟口。且以汝之有身也，更恐不勝悲，故惟日日呼酒買醉。

But I just couldn’t start to talk about it every time I wanted to, lest you be unable to take it, much less you are expecting now.  Therefore, I couldn’t do anything but drown my sorrows in drink everyday.

嗟夫！當時余心之悲，蓋不能以寸管形容之。

Heaven pity me! I just couldn’t describe how sad was I then with solely this writing brush.

吾誠願與汝相守以死。第以今日時勢觀之，天災可以死，盜賊可以死，瓜分之日可以死，奸官污吏虐民可以死，

Sincerely I am willing to be with you till the end of our days. But to view the outlook of today’s surroundings, we could die of calamities, die of banditries, die of the partition out of imperialism, and die of the molestation from venal officials.

吾輩處今日之中國，無時無地不可以死，到那時使吾眼睜睜看汝死，或使汝眼睜睜看我死，吾能之乎？抑汝能之乎？

People of our generation could die anytime, anywhere in today’s China; by the time I watch you die helplessly or vice versa, could either of us bear it?

即可不死，而離散不相見，徒使兩地眼成穿而骨化石；試問古來幾曾見破鏡重圓？則較死尤苦也。將奈之何！

Even we could survive the bitter sea; still we could be parted, and never met again. Have you seen a broken mirror ever mended perfectly? What should we do to suffer the pain of separation from each other, which is much more miserable than death?

今日吾與汝幸雙健，天下之人，不當死而死，與不願離而離者，不可數計；鍾情如我輩者，能忍之乎？此吾所以敢率性就死，不顧汝也。

Fortunately, now you and I are still alive; nevertheless, there are numerous unfortunate died who are not willing to die; numerous unfortunate parted who are not willing to part. Can we, the loved ones, tolerate such a disparity?  That’s why I dare to die recklessly, without taking care of you anymore.

吾今日死無餘憾，國事成不成，自有同志者在。依新已五歲，轉眼成人，汝其善撫之，使之肖我。

Now I am going to die without regret. Whether our action this time succeeds or not, it will leave to the comrades in the ensuing years. Our son Yi-hsin is five years old now, and will be a grown-up soon.  Please take good care of him, and make me an exemplar of him.

汝腹中之物，吾疑其女也；女必像汝，吾心甚慰；或又是男，則亦教其以父志為志，則我死後，尚有兩意洞在也。甚幸！甚幸！

The baby you are expecting may be a girl, I guess. If so, she must be a lot like you, and I am very glad for that. If it is another boy, please teach him to be in the wake of me, too.  Thus, I will have two chips off my block, two Yi-tongs. I am contented, so contented!

吾家日後當甚貧；貧無所苦，清靜過日而已。吾今與汝無言矣。吾居九泉之下，遙聞汝哭聲，當哭相和也。

Our family will be in reduced circumstances for sure; it is no harm in being of poverty, nothing but leading a peaceful life.  From now on we can’t communicate with each other: I‘ll be in the nether world, trying hard to hear the remote sound of your crying, I’ll cry with you.

吾平日不信有鬼，今則又望其真有；今人又言心電感應有道，吾亦望其言是實；

I used to not believing in apparition, but now I wish it were to exist. It is said that human beings possess a sixth sense or something, and I hope it is true.

則吾之死，吾靈尚依依汝旁也，汝不必以無侶悲！

In so doing, you are able to feel my presence here to accompany you anytime, so you don’t have to be sad for being without me.

吾愛汝至。汝幸而偶我，又何不幸而生今日之中國！吾幸而得汝，又何不幸而生今日之中國！卒不忍獨善其身。

I love you so dearly. You are fortunate to have an uxorious husband like me, but how unfortunate to live in today’s China! I am lucky to have a loved one like you, but how unlucky to live in today’s China, in which I just couldn’t live in seclusion without noticing the environment surrounds me.

嗟乎！紙短情長，所未盡者尚有幾萬千，汝可以模擬得之。

Alas! Words not fail me, but even a large sheaf of papers cannot contain my words of love to you, and you may imagine what else I am going to say to you

吾今不能見汝矣。汝不能舍我，其時時於夢中得我乎！一慟！　

Now I have to say good-bye to you. If you don’t want to let me go, always try to seek me in your dreams!  How pathetic you are!

辛亥三月二十六夜四鼓意洞手書

Yi-tong,

In the dead of night on March 26, 1911.