同事傳來一篇短文，覺得蠻有意思，不知道是不是已經有人翻譯成中文，我沒有逐字翻，只是好玩譯一下。
歷史課又一章：鐵軌的故事
美國鐵軌的標準軌距是4英呎8.5 英寸，這是一個很奇怪的數字。
怎麼會有這樣的軌距？因為英國的就是這樣，而美國的鐵路是流亡到這裡的英國人建的。（註：指的大概是最早的鐵路工人，其實大多是愛爾蘭人）。
英國人為甚麼採用這個寬度呢？因為最早建鐵路的人原來是做台車軌道的，他們用了台車的軌距。
那台車軌道的距離又怎麼來的呢？
建台車軌道的人用的是做馬車的工具和標準，他們依據馬車的左右輪子距離設計了台車的軌距。
為什麼馬車有這種輪距呢？
因為那是英國古老驛道上車轍的寬度。輪子如果不依照這個距離設計，在驛道上走時就會裂開。
誰建了這些古老又多轍跡的驛道？
英國和歐洲大陸最早的驛道是羅馬帝國為他們的軍團建的，這些路一直使用到現在。
車轍又是怎麼形成的？
羅馬古戰車壓出最早的轍跡，以後別的車子都配合它以免損壞車輪。因為戰車是為羅馬帝國做的，車輪的距離幾乎一致。
… 所以美國鐵軌的4英呎8.5英寸的軌距標準來自於古羅馬戰車的設計。
就像一成不變的官僚作風 。
下次當您遇到甚麼奇怪的手續或規定或規格，如果氣得說「這是甚麼屁規矩？」你可說對了。古羅馬的戰車就是依照兩匹馬臀部的寬度來設計的。
這裡還有一則有趣的故事：
太空梭發射時，它的主燃料箱兩側各連結了一枚巨大的燃料火箭。這種簡稱SRB的固體燃料火箭是由錫歐可（Thiokol）公司位於猶他州的工廠製造的。
設計SRB的工程師原來想把它們做得粗壯一點，可是火箭做好以後必須用火車運到發射地點。運送路線剛好經過一個隧道，所以SRB必須設計得能通過那個隧道。隧道只比鐵軌寬一點，而你現在知道，鐵軌的寬度是兩匹馬並排時臀部的寬度 ……
所以說，號稱世界最先進的運輸系統的太空梭，它的一項主要設計卻是由兩千年前的馬屁寬度來決定的。您能說馬屁不重要嗎？
古時候的馬屁決定了所有道路和車輛的規格，現代的馬屁決定了其他的。
原文如下：
Origin HISTORY LESSON
Railroad tracks..
Be sure to read the final paragraph; your understanding of it will depend on
the earlier part of the content.
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5
inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England,
and English expatriates built the US railroads.
Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the
pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did 'they' use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for
building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England ) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of
destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they
were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot..
Bureaucracies live forever.
So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder
'What horse's ass came up with it?', you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman
army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two
war horses. (Two horse's asses.) Now, the twist to the story:
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRB's. The SRB's are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRB's would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRB's had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRB's had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything... and CURRENT Horses Asses are controlling everything else.
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