Writing is not like math…maybe that’s why I like writing so much. Math is clear cut: for example, 15% of 4,000 is always 600, and even though zero is nothing, try telling that to your math teacher if you answer “6” or “60” to the above question. In contrast, writing is much more fluid, more forgiving. It leaves more room for personal style and quirks.

寫作跟數學不同，這也許就是我熱愛寫作的原因。數學力求明確，例如4,000的15% 永遠都是600。就算你認為少幾個0沒什麼大不了，但你若回答你的數學老師上述題目的答案是6或60，那你就糗大了。相對地，寫作就大有彈性，比較能容許模糊地帶。寫作有很大的空間可以容納個人的風格和癖好。

Better writing is clear 敘述清楚

So, while writing is more flexible than math, there are rules and guidelines of good practice. Most of all, writing must be clear, which is point two. If no one can understand you, you have failed in your purpose. And before you can write clearly, you must think clearly. This is one reason why good writing is so hard, because good thinking is so hard. I saw this in an email the other day:

雖然寫作比數學更有彈性，但想要寫好仍需遵循規範和指引。最重要的就是敘述一定要清楚，這是精進寫作的第二點。如果沒人看得懂，那你就白廢工夫了。而要能寫出敘述清楚的文字，你必須先具備清晰的思考。這就是為何好的作品很難得，因為稹密的思考很難得。前幾天我在電子郵件中看到這句話：

 Writing causes thinking.

Likewise, Francis Bacon (1561-1626) once said, “Reading makes a full man […], but writing makes an exact man.”

同樣地，法蘭西斯．培根 (1561-1626) 也曾說過：「閱讀造就完整的人……，但寫作造就的是嚴謹的人。」

So, since writing requires clear thinking and hard work, and since writing in a foreign language is a big challenge, no wonder examples of poor written English are everywhere. The other day I saw this on a box of tissues:

因為寫作要求清晰的思考和努力的過程，而用外文寫作又是一大挑戰，這也難怪到處充斥難以入目的英文寫作。前幾天我在面紙盒上看到以下這句話：

“Magic in joy life, free in place, no anything the super speed.”

Huh?

這是什麼意思啊？

And one of my favorites came from a cake box given to the teachers once at an end-of-year celebration at school. The box was beautiful, with attractive pictures of cakes and goodies, with this written in elegant script:“The smell you’ll never forget.” In Chinese, they probably wanted to say, 你永遠也忘不了的香味, which sounds great in Chinese, but not in English!

另一個我覺得很有趣的例子是，有次在學校年終同樂會上送蛋糕給老師，盒子非常漂亮，上面印有精美的蛋糕和糖果的圖片，還有精緻的字體寫著“The smell you’ll never forget”。中文原來可能想表達的是：「你永遠也忘不了的香味。」這在中文裡聽起來是很棒，但翻成英文卻變了個樣。

In the years since, I have often joked about that saying with my children, but usually not in the context of delicious desserts!

從那時候開始，我就經常用這句話來跟我的小孩開玩笑，只是並非用來形容美味的點心。

Here are some great examples of mangled English. Note the funny name for the handicapped rest room. The menu below wants to sell “crab,” but look what a difference just one letter makes! More of these jewels are online at www.engrish.com.

以下還有一些用錯英文的有趣例子，例如身障人士廁所上的爆笑用字，還有菜單上要賣crab（螃蟹），卻因一字之差而造成天壤之別的差異。更多這種可笑的例子還可在www.engrish.com網站上觀賞。

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