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| 2013/04/25 15:12:11瀏覽1689｜回應0｜推薦1 | |
上一站→ 下一站→ 邊角擂台》李祖杰：臭乳呆奇幻漂流，金小胖逆水行舟(20130409)
如是我聞。一時，諸侯率眾赴境外旅遊，在美利堅合眾國，託管地關島，某運動酒吧，扮豬扮猴群起作法，伴豬亦伴猴而作屁言…大螢幕前，the MLB games broadcasting online…A boring duel between hard-luck Wei-Yin Chen and Hiroki Kuroda playing in Yankees Stadium…
超連結影音對嘴走唱，本片全球首映網路直播參考曲目，慈善義演側錄勿究
Assembly… How about changing the program to see a movie instead as a recreational warm-up before making our final decision, fight or surrender, love or peace, winning another Nobel Prize again together… Of course Life of Pi, the masterpiece of Ang Lee, 華人之光，Why not… Objection! I think The Last Sumarai performed by Tom Cruise is a better or definitely even the best choice for us! 抱歉，席主席，這裡歸老大管，不是日本國固有領土尖閣群島，甭哪壺不開偏去提尿壺，侈談啥民族主義，不怕薰死人喔… Richard Parker, Sorry, President Park, What’s your opinion… Our Big Brother, 難得女人當家，徐娘半老歐巴桑，自應力挺整形成果斐然物化極品，最愛美的國花！恁祖媽內舉不避親，鄭重推蔫不營養韓流文化席捲台灣的代表作之一，少女時代Live Show… ………………………………………… ………………………………………… …………………………………………
Armistice… 可憐我呆胞耽溺異文化靡靡之音，盡成失根浮萍，全然忘了祖國偉大的中華文化無價資產，跟兩岸一體神聖主權亦有其不可分割性… 又來了！日本帝國好歹曾治理台澎五十年，請問中國共產黨除派匪諜和陸客登台搞破壞，遂行經濟統戰技倆外，何曾佔據台灣一天，在總督府大位坐過一分一秒… Premier Abe, I have warned you earlier so many times, since the World War Ⅱ had been over, you should behave friendlier toward all constructive strategic partners! Don’t you guys forget that the world is always parts of US territories, not to mention the tiny Taiwan! However, what a pity! other than the stubborn Russia, China, Iran, Cuba, Syria, North Korea and so on… Objection! My boss, you know, the cheap Samsung products have, so far, ruled more than half of the market of mobile phones! Besides, the famous international brand Kia has also driven his own way down the roads everywhere around the whole world, covering either the mountains or the lands, South Korea, therefore, should promptly be excluded from the list, please… ………………………………………… ………………………………………… …………………………………………
Agreement… The US itself, here, could be repeatedly read as the first person plural personal object pronoun us too! This means Kim the kid excluded from the peace-loving global society will later be told to actually belong to us, doesn’t it sound so good to all of us, right? But…my big master, we are so scared and have fed up with that type of intimidating threats…we should waste no time, let’s react more aggressively, teaching him militantly some harsh lessons to make the disgusting clown learn just a few of the most fundamental international responsibilities required to obey unconditionally as the head of a state… 發動侵華戰爭的殺人魔，也配扯國際責任？要不要臉？不懂事的猴囝仔只是個屁，算哪根葱？跟人家談啥國際責任？這是中美兩大國的專利，頂多再加別的UN常任理事國，無三小路用的英法俄，還輪不到金正恩插手作主！ He was born in a cyber-age, probably clicking on the screen nearly every day and night to govern his private kingdom like easily playing the videogames. He might build his own trademark identity for Nikando only effortlessly while treating Japan naughtily as a personal toy! ………………………………………… ………………………………………… …………………………………………
Assumption… Anybody can remind me what the little rascal truly wants? money? I don’t think so! He’s certainly the richest mogul on this planet, unfortunately the Forbes is just not able to estimate how wealthy Kim as well as his families really are? enough is never enough? I don’t care… 這不是講廢話？整個國家都歸他管，金庫鑰匙在他手上，要拿多少就拿多少，誰敢吭聲說不？自誇海角N億的培德扁，恐連其九牛之一毛也不及，註定要被關到死還真冤枉！北朝鮮家天下自利自肥情形，就跟我爹在世時一模一樣嘛，那時還有壞人蔣介石和爛人馬可仕與叱咜風雲的強人朴正熙為伴，不然老娘何來公主病？哪像現在的金小弟，連個伴也沒有，寡人有疾孤苦無依，不找日本出氣逗著玩，日子蹉跎起來還真無趣難熬… A helpless Japan has long time publicly budgeted huge numbers of spending yearly to pay his father and granddad millions of billions of yen as the necessary ransom to seek and pray for the basic national security protected by the under-the-table bribery… 甭怕！這兔葸子只須盡本份，管好山寨軍頭莫蠢動，免受政變威脅，讓他繼續關起門來鎖國，做一輩子土包子皇帝即吾願足矣，小霸王也只想這樣而已，不然還能怎樣？不用想太多！侵華業障深重，禽獸不如的小日本，自己心裡有鬼，才會作賊心虛，動輒靠杯靠木，狂嚷捉賊抓鬼，叫咱替它降魔伏妖…老大，小毛頭不鳥你，美國鎮不住，還有俺頂著，當你們靠山，幫大家收驚…必要時，來一對捉一雙，舞水端中程彈道導彈，及號稱實彈射擊的漢光演習，兩個一起幹掉… Kim, a gambler; Ma, the bumbler; they are not the same at all, how come to kill two mocking birds with one stone? ………………………………………… ………………………………………… …………………………………………
Assignment… 殲20試飛成功過，老子掛保證，台灣人正剉咧等… Does it genuinely immortal when targeted by another mysterious weapon, for example, like Musudan, the fake missiles totally fabricated in media myths? 管不了那麼多了！恁爸要去參拜靖國神社，然後修憲擴軍… The regional stability in East Asia is a must, devaluing the yen is not a fair choice; the trade sanctions or even an ultimate embargo is a no-brainer, launching a war is optional, what could we do now? It’s our mutual home works triggered not entirely by Kim alone… 朝鮮半島男人全是沙豬！他瞧不起穿裙子的女人，見不得大姐頭入主青瓦台，與他平起平坐… If so, how were you elected successfully? None of my business! Spare her needless embarrassment! ………………………………………… ………………………………………… …………………………………………
Appointment… 金正恩雖和辜寬敏有得拚，恁祖媽卻不是呂秀蓮… Why not considering a secret date with Kim? unlike the ways the North Korea leaders have paved to show us how they intentionally harass the world, the South Koreans actually dominate nothing on earth except what said by you in terms of the communication apparatus, a logo doomed a poor loser too in US courts as piracy and theft… 靠腰，餿主意使不得也…若不幸擦出愛的火花，假戲真做搞起姐弟戀，萬事都不OK…阿彌陀佛，色即是空，飲食男女戒之慎之…女未嫁男已婚，堂堂大統領屈居小三側室，可比車臣裔烈士幹的波士頓馬拉松賽土製炸彈爆破案還勁爆呀，呵呵… 不好笑！被閣下鬥到黑牢韜光養晦的薄一波，和他老婆谷開來各玩各的不倫史，把孔老二訓誨中國愚民應遵行的禮教規矩，全當王八羔子看待，令啞巴吃黃蓮的老人家掛不住臉，才更符合噁上加噁的現世報法則哩… Look! You, lustful evil men, are all rude! See how Gates shook hands with me so impolitely… No complains, Madame. You are lucky! Were the insulted the other virtual predator, Richard Parker or A.K.A. the paper tiger cowardice Kim, Mr. Gates will have a handgun on his left hand simultaneously while greeting him and facing off against each other at the same time… ………………………………………… ………………………………………… …………………………………………
Assassination… Kill Kim on the spot? A bloody terroristic live program televised worldwide… 較之活得不耐煩日本網友相約燒炭，從事臉書直播自殺傑作，集體奄奄一息的畫面，更驚悚過人，後遺症諒必不容小覷… 槍桿子保政權何錯之有？可如此殺人蠢行，竟被日本AV文化影響所及智障眾生美化成，宛若女優芙蓉出水，只怕連李安也自嘆弗如… What are you stupids talking about? Who dare to eliminate Kim, I swear here pulling out a pistol off my pocket to shoot him or her down first! ………………………………………… ………………………………………… ………………………………………… Assists… Just like the US military helicopter collapsed vertically around the border lines shared by both Koreas… Who did it on purpose? You bastard China or you sheepish Japan or you, my dear Miss Park… 聽你在放屁！嘜假仙，誰不曉得美帝最愛自導自演，堪稱尚正港偽君子，還敢找無辜者算帳？有夠厚臉皮…It’s nobody but you yourself! The biggest fucking liar in the world… Kim is currently our boss’s best friend? You blame Kim for all faults and order CIA to try their best protecting him from being perished, like Osama bin Laden, by anybody other than US troops or snipers… Me? bull shits! The unspeakable conspiracy is, everybody here all needs the formidable supports that Kim’s invisible offers have afforded! ………………………………………… ………………………………………… …………………………………………
Amnesty… 桃園義結金蘭？新五國演義？金山銀山攏總包，大家私下做夥架空全球媒體，唬弄腦殘名嘴，一起公然打假球？ He helps us stabilize our seizures of powers, both domestically and globally, more effortlessly… 老大所言甚是！這傢伙可死不得！一旦翹辮子，咱鐵沒戲唱！吃人嘴軟拿人手短，請在座諸位寄生蟲慎思明辨… Pardon the innocent Kim to reconcile with his inexperienced young age? Because the divided worlds scattering everywhere that were or are or will be severed into two opposing different segments and filled with disputable dynamites are more welcome? I myself am the most persuasive best answer! Ain’t I? ………………………………………… ………………………………………… …………………………………………
HE AIN'T HEAVY, HE'S MY BROTHER LYRICS The road is long But I'm strong His welfare is of my concern For I know If I'm laden at all It's a long, long road And the load He's my brother
Assets… Japan already is one of the great complete ones, we’ll equip ourselves with all types of fighting tools to maintain our wholeness, we just can’t be manipulated by anyone of you… Plus Kim himself? Are you sure? believe me, nothing happens at all eventually, the farce is not a zero sum game, it’s kind of, instead, an annual routine job for multilateral diplomatic maneuvers with zero dangerous political stakes seriously wagered in… Selling the senses of crises could be the most lucrative business? 不用對牛彈琴，跟他爭辯搞啥下三濫生意最賺錢，美國的軍火販和油商已將大石頭海珊改造成一座幕碑了，咱得多花點腦筋，保護大夥兒的搖錢樹，小屁蛋金施恩，留神他哪天別又一個不小心，也一樣被刪除… Don’t worry! Peace previously remains there forever and is still to stay put motionlessly…It might perhaps draw nearer and nearer, though…… If only the diplomacy dialogues between the deaf and the dumb starting over again coincidentally to get effective finally… the capitalism addict Kim is too valuable, at least right now, as not to be overthrown or replaced immediately… Kim leads us to open the doors, reaping various benefits of opportunistic gains and bunches of decorative equipment to strengthen and beautify our power foundations… Remember! We five are almost starting to run from the same line to respectively hold our new official tenures and play our authoritative roles… We are exactly sitting on the same merry-go-round to scream and shout? We are precisely rowing in the same boat to strive to survive? No enemies, no advantages; no rivals, no profits…It’s the simplest common senses… No boss, no extra bonus and vice versa. Who bosses Whom? Who are bossed by whom? ………………………………………… ………………………………………… …………………………………………
Amusement… 數大便是美，金北韓檯面下盟友多多，執政歹路硬是比慘遭沒天良美帝制裁的卡斯楚古巴幸福… What entertainments should we pick up to enjoy ourselves as a celebration ritual after breaking the deadlock we once pretended to unbearably suffer… Yet the high tensions caused by the minor incident haven’t gone through with safety… 發射幾枚飛彈到台灣，嚇嚇呆胞吧…警告他們別和南朝鮮搶代工訂單，並且支持海峽兩岸連袂出兵驅離日寇，共同管理釣島，當然，更不准阻擋美豬闖關，進口販售有害毒物催吐… Speak of the pigs, don’t you guys notice that we’ve silently finished watching an animation film titled “animal farm”, unless you stubborn pigheads absent-mindedly cast the eyes over elsewhere outdoors without knowing the absurd conclusion of that book… The neighbors of North Korea outside looked from Obama to Kim… And from Kim to Obama, and from Obama to Kim again; but already… It was impossible to say which was which…. …………………………………………
The End…Adrift… Let’s chant a song to praise a solid unity of one like us as a happy ending to tell all members that none of the rebels will be punished! Okay, are you ready? Great, follow me! Long Live Kim Jong Un… Long live Japan, go to hell China! Long live China, go to hell Nobel Peace Prizes! Long live women, go to hell men! ………………………………………… ………………………………………… ………………………………………… 女強人裙帶裙襬吹呀吹，監所代號0224賴素如與朴槿惠各就各位… |
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| ( 時事評論｜政治 ) |
