字體：小 中 大 |
|
|
|
| 2024/10/04 05:07:05瀏覽42｜回應0｜推薦3 | |
| Excerpt：菲茨傑拉德 (F. Scott Fitzgerald) 的《一個作家的午後》 這一本《一個作家的午后》，收錄了Fitzgerald的晚期作品，包含8篇短篇小說以及5篇隨筆。 先前新經典文化也曾經出版村上春樹編選的《一個作家的午後》，文章相同但順序有異，或可考慮一併閱讀。 在隨筆的部份，個人喜歡的是〈我失落的城市〉以及〈奔潰〉的系列作品，而後者其實是1936年在《君子》（Esquire）雜誌上發表的文章，以下摘要分享。 http://www.sc.edu/fitzgerald/biography.html The 1936-1937 period is known as “the crack-up” from the title of an essay Fitzgerald wrote in 1936. Ill, drunk, in debt, and unable to write commercial stories, he lived in hotels in the region near Asheville, North Carolina, where in 1936 Zelda Fitzgerald entered Highland Hospital. After Baltimore Fitzgerald did not maintain a home for Scottie. When she was fourteen she went to boarding school, and the Obers became her surrogate family. Nonetheless, Fitzgerald functioned as a concerned father by mail, attempting to supervise Scottie’s education and to shape her social values. http://www.esquire.com/features/the-crack-up "The Crack-Up", by F. Scott Fitzgerald, as originally published in Esquire, February 1936. https://www.books.com.tw/products/CN11993524 一個作家的午後 作者：菲茨傑拉德 譯者：汪暢 出版社：北京聯合出版公司 出版日期：2024/07/17 內容簡介 《一個作家的午後》是菲茨傑拉德的後期作品集，收錄發表于1930年至1939年《一個作家的午後》《崩潰》等13篇晚期代表作，這個時期是作者酗酒、失業、病痛的黑暗時代的苦悶中年的絕望定格，抒發了對生命的思考、對理想的追尋和對現實的困惑，揭示了菲茨傑拉德內心的空虛寂寥和對浪漫和激情的嚮往。 【Excerpt】 〈崩潰〉 毋庸置疑，每個人的一生都是一段逐漸崩潰的過程，但是那些起到戲劇性作用的打擊——從外界突然而至的沈重打擊——那些埋在你記憶深處的一擊，那些讓你責怪一切的一擊，那些當你軟弱無助時向朋友傾訴的一擊……它們所釀成的影響並不會稍縱即逝。還有一種打擊來自內在——直到做什麼都已太晚，你方才有所察覺，最終，你會認識到，自己在某些方面再也不會像過去那樣優秀了。第一種崩潰似乎是在頃刻間發生的，而第二種崩潰是在不知不覺中悄然發生的，又在後知後覺中猛然驚覺。 Of course all life is a process of breaking down, but the blows that do the dramatic side of the work -- the big sudden blows that come, or seem to come, from outside -- the ones you remember and blame things on and, in moments of weakness, tell your friends about, don’t show their effect all at once. There is another sort of blow that comes from within -- that you don’t feel until it’s too late to do anything about it, until you realize with finality that in some regard you will never be as good a man again. The first sort of breakage seems to happen quick -- the second kind happens almost without your knowing it but is realized suddenly indeed. …… 十年前的生活基本上只是我一個人的事情。那時，我必須在“努力無用論”與“奮鬥必要論”之間保持平衡，深信“失敗”是不可避免的，同時仍然抱有“成功”的決心，甚至在更激烈的矛盾——“過去的不散陰魂”與“未來的崇高憧憬”之間不斷徘徊。若我能在處理家庭、事業和個人的所有問題上做到這一點，那我的自我意識就會像一支滿弓離弦的箭，從一片虛無不斷地射向另一片虛無。最終，只有地心引力才能強行卸下那巨大的力量，讓它墜落在地。 I must hold in balance the sense of futility of effort and the sense of the necessity to struggle; the conviction of the inevitability of failure and still the determination to “succeed” -- and, more than these, the contradiction between the dead hand of the past and the high intentions of the future. If I could do this through the common ills -- domestic, professional, and personal -- then the ego would continue as an arrow shot from nothingness to nothingness with such force that only gravity would bring it to earth at last. 〈小心輕放〉 …… 當下，對於一位積鬱成疾的患者而言，最標準的自愈方法莫過於想想那些窮困潦倒、疾病纏身的人。這對所有悶悶不樂的人來說都是一個絕妙的好方法，對每個人都大有裨益且隨時有效。一到凌晨三點，就連一件曾經遺忘的包裹也會不受控制地壓上心頭，猶如死刑一般創巨痛深。任何治療手段此時均以失效告終。凌晨三點是靈魂真正的永夜，日復一日，無休無止。在這至暗時刻，人們往往會潛入嬰兒般的夢境中，久久不願回歸現實。然而，一個人與這個世界產生的各式各樣的摩擦與碰撞，總會讓他反復從睡夢中驚醒。在這種情況下，他可能會抽身來到現實，趕緊敷衍了事，然後再次潛回夢裡，幻想明天能憑空落下一大筆精神與物質財富，萬事萬物從此便自己好起來。隨著他在夢中越陷越深，天降鴻運的機會也越來越渺茫。他不是在等待悲傷的消逝，而是迫不得已地見證一場處決，見證自己人格的崩潰…… Now the standard cure for one who is sunk is to consider those in actual destitution or physical suffering -- this is an all-weather beatitude for gloom in general and fairly salutary daytime advice for everyone. But at three o’clock in the morning, a forgotten package has the same tragic importance as a death sentence, and the cure doesn’t work -- and in a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning, day after day. At that hour the tendency is to refuse to face things as long as possible by retiring into an infantile dream -- but one is continually startled out of this by various contacts with the world. One meets these occasions as quickly and carelessly as possible and retires once more back into the dream, hoping that things will adjust themselves by some great material or spiritual bonanza. But as the withdrawal persists there is less and less chance of the bonanza -- one is not waiting for the fade-out of a single sorrow, but rather being an unwilling witness of an execution, the disintegration of one’s own personality… |
|
| ( 知識學習｜隨堂筆記 ) |
