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| 【書摘】蓋爾芒特家那邊—對阿爾貝蒂娜的欲念 (The desire for Albertine) 2 Albertine, cette fois, rentrait à Paris plus tôt que de coutume. D’ordinaire elle n’y arrivait qu’au printemps, de sorte que, déjà troublé depuis quelques semaines par les orages sur les premières fleurs, je ne séparais pas, dans le plaisir que j’avais, le retour d’Albertine et celui de la belle saison. Il suffisait qu’on me dise qu’elle était à Paris et qu’elle était passée chez moi pour que je la revisse comme une rose au bord de la mer. Je ne sais trop si c’était le désir de Balbec ou d’elle qui s’emparait de moi alors, peut-être le désir d’elle étant lui-même une forme paresseuse, lâche et incomplète de posséder Balbec, comme si posséder matériellement une chose, faire sa résidence d’une ville, équivalait à la posséder spirituellement. Et d’ailleurs, même matériellement, quand elle était non plus balancée par mon imagination devant l’horizon marin, mais immobile auprès de moi, elle me semblait souvent une bien pauvre rose devant laquelle j’aurais bien voulu fermer les yeux pour ne pas voir tel défaut des pétales et pour croire que je respirais sur la plage. (l’édition Gallimard, Paris, 1946-47) 阿爾貝蒂娜此次回巴黎比往年要早。往年她總是在春暖花開時才回來，而我，由於狂風暴雨摧毀了春天第一批奇葩，幾個星期來一直心煩意亂，很願意把阿爾貝蒂娜的歸來同春返大地聯繫在一起。只要有人對我說她在巴黎，她到我家來過，我就仿佛又看到了一朵海邊的玫瑰花。我不太清楚那時候是什麼東西支配著我的思想，是對巴爾貝克海灘的渴望，還是對阿爾貝蒂娜的欲念。也許，對阿爾貝蒂娜的欲念本身就是對巴爾貝克海灘的一種慵懶、鬆懈和不完整的占有，好像從物質上占有一樣東西，例如在一個城市居住，就等於在精神上占有了這個城市。況且，即使在物質上佔有一樣東西，如果沒有我的想像力使它在遙遠的海邊晃動，而是讓它靜止地待在我的身邊，那麼，它對我也常常是一朵可憐的玫瑰花，在它面前，我寧願閉上雙眼，以便不看到花瓣上的某個瑕點，以便相信自己在海灘上呼吸。 (p.389 追憶似水年華 III蓋爾芒特家那邊 聯經版 1992) This time, Albertine had returned to Paris earlier than usual. As a rule she came only in the spring, which meant that, already disturbed for some weeks past by the storms that were beating down the first flowers, I did not distinguish, in the elements of the pleasure that I felt, the return of Albertine from that of the fine weather. It was enough that I should be told that she was in Paris and that she had called at the house, for me to see her again like a rose flowering by the sea. I cannot say whether it was the desire for Balbec or for herself that overcame me at such moments; possibly my desire for her was itself a lazy, cowardly, and incomplete method of possessing Balbec, as if to possess a thing materially, to take up one’s abode in a town, were equivalent to possessing it spiritually. Besides, even materially, when she was no longer posed by my imagination before a horizon of sea, but sitting still in a room with me, she seemed to me often a very poor specimen of a rose, so poor, indeed, that I would gladly have shut my eyes in order not to observe this or that blemish of its petals, and to imagine instead that I was inhaling the salt air on the beach. (Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff) This year, Albertine was back in Paris earlier than usual. Normally she did not arrive until spring, so that, already disturbed for some weeks by the storms that were crushing the first Flowers, I could not distinguish, in my pleasure, between Albertine’s return and that of the fine weather. It was enough to hear that she was in Paris and that she had called on me, for me to see her again like a rose by the sea. I am not quite sure whether it was the desire for Balbec or for her that took hold of me then; perhaps my desire for her was itself a lazy, cowardly, incomplete way of possessing Balbec, as if to possess a thing materially, to take up residence in a town, were equivalent to possessing it spiritually. And even materially, when she was not being swayed in my imagination before a horizon of sea but sitting there motionless beside me, she seemed to me often to be a very poor sort of rose, and I would have preferred to shut my eyes to avoid seeing the various blemishes on its petals and to imagine instead that I was breathing sea air. (Translated by Mark Treharne) |
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| ( 知識學習｜隨堂筆記 ) |
