陪伴住院五天四夜記

         民國一百年元月三日傍晚，因不明原因大量便血，進住士林新光醫院五天四夜，事後曾寫成《莫名去回》一五晝四夜冒險記一乙文。上(五）月廿三日傍晚，進住南加州橙縣安納罕市的凱撒醫療中心（Kaiser Permanente Orange County - Anaheim Medical Center )，廿七日中午回到兒子家中，同樣是五天四夜，但是因住院的是兒子書翰，不是我本人，而且兒子住院是為了檢查頭腦，而不是開刀或治療，因此心情與感受跟上次住院完全不同。

       兒子在UC BURKERY得了碩士學位後，回到德州AUSTIN，一方面在建設公司工作，一方面又在UT AUSTIN修讀MBA，得了MBA後就轉到南加州，進入CLARK建設公司上班，擔任估價工程師，前年由資深估價工程師晉升為估價主任工程師（Chief Estimator）。從事估價工作已十數年，但一直希望能有機會嘗試有關土地開發的工作。去年二月間家媳生了男孫，四月上旬南加州最大的土地開發公司一The Irvine Development Corporation（IDC）就主動找上他，兒子乃辭去CLARK建設公司工作，轉任開發公司估價處長（Director），十月間買到新屋，十一月梢賣掉舊屋，十二月初搬入新家，不料過了年不久，元月二十三日身體突感不適，初是發生幻聽，聽到小孩子哭叫聲，繼而出現短暫失憶，腦子一片空白，嚴重時則說不出話來。這種症狀斷斷續續發生多次後，立即去看醫生，先後做過腦波測驗及MRI掃瞄等檢查，均未發現特殊異狀，遵照醫生囑咐服藥，也未見太大效果。二月十九日乃辭去開發公司工作，休息了一個月左右，於三月二十一日回到原來的建設公司上班（註一）。根據記憶，自元月二十三日起至五月中旬止，前後陸續發生上述症狀約二十次之多！

        為了解發病的原因，兒子乃趁內人跟我來美後，於五月二十三日請假進住凱撒醫院接受詳細檢查，從當天上午八點起至二十七日中午止，共五天四夜。每天上午八時至下午一時由小女書琴請假陪同照顧（註二），下午一時起至六時止，由兒子教會的三位好友輪流陪同（都是主動提供協助），其中一位是教會的牧師，連續陪伴兩天（次），晚上六時起至第二天上午八時止，都由我這位老爸負責照料。檢查目的是希望了解兒子發生幻聽，失憶及不能言語等現象的詳情與原因，醫生要求兒子每天只睡四個小時，即零晨二時起至六時止，其餘時間都不准睡覺，因此要求陪伴的親友務必不斷跟兒子聊天，使他因疲憊勞累而病情發作。第一、二天兒子跟我的體力都還不錯，兒子上網做他的事，我閱讀小說，很快就是深夜兩點，便可上床了。當然前兩晚都睡得很甜很熟，可是兒子清晨六點就被叫起床，不能繼續睡覺了。第三、四天晚上，父子兩人體力已都不繼，尤其是過了十二點以後，睡意十足，身心已感倦勞，眼睛越來越小，脖子也不斷下沉！可是，兩人不停地相互提醒打氣，儘管身心都很難受，但終究皆勉強熬到了兩點，才心甘情願上床就寢！最後兩晚時間過得真慢，真似度日如年，但五天四夜終究熬過了！(註三)

       熬了五天四晚，確實相當辛苦，找不到病魔，又看不到症狀，確似可惜又可憐，但是檢查過程中未見發作，則是我們一直希望的，甚至希望能永遠不再看見它！事實上，小犬自去年二月生了老二以來，一是變換工作，必須適應新人事新環境（註四），二是覓購新屋，出售舊屋，三是淘汰家俱衣物，打包搬家，四是整修新家，添購家俱，五是佈置房間，整理衣物等，在在需要時間與精力！兒子天生就是個完美主義者，從小就很注意衣著，並非常講究清潔整齊，相信看過他平日衣著以及衣物擺放的人，都不會否認！從去年二月起至今年一月發病期間，事情多又雜，且事事追求完美，既沒有足夠休息，又常熬夜失眠，當然是非常「傷腦筋」的事！根據個人觀察分析，兒子二月中旬以來，多次發生輕微幻聽丶短暫失憶及無法言語等現象，完全係因長期勞累睡眠不足所致，相信倘能注意作息，並充分休養，應該可以不藥而癒！兒子發病以來，惠蒙大阿姨惠珠、二姨丈董信隆大夫、姊姊書琴以及各方親友的協助與關心，謹先藉此致上十二萬分的感激。檢查至今瞬已經月，幸未再見發作，但願Seizure從此消失無蹤。天助自助，唯有自己能救助自己，希望兒子能謹記這次教訓，從此注意作息休養！

『註一』：兒子三月十九日在臉書上敘述要回原公司上班的期待：

「I’m excited to go back to werork on Monday. =) It's been a month since I quit my last job. Looking forward to working with my old team again, and actually talking to people during the day!

I had too much time to focus on my health issues the past month; and know that interaction with people makes my head clearer.

Just an update of my seizures... unfortunately had one yesterday. During the seizure, I become focused on a phrase, and everything I hear and read becomes the phrase that I'm thinking. Unfortunately, I'm also unable to say that phrase out loud. So Grace and I played charades for an hour last night, with her trying to guess what I'm trying to say. I'm a bad actor, and she's a bad guesser, and in the end, we just went to bed unable to figure out what the phrase was.

If you're the praying type, please pray that the seizures go away; that as I start interacting with people on a more regular basis (Irvine Company was so quiet and people so non-interactive), I'll be able to serve others, and not pity myself. Also, that I can be disciplined to get enough sleep at night and keep "Kepprage" from affecting me.」

『註二』：兒子二月二十八日在臉書上敘述對姊姊的感謝與讚美：

「In case there is a competition for best sister in the world, I'd like to   

    nominate my sister Susan.

Since this mess started last month, she has:

- been the first to visit me at the hospital
- babysat the kids so Grace can visit me
- driven down to San Diego to be with me in the ER
- taken time off work to go with me to doctor appointments
- texted me like every 30 minutes to make sure I'm okay
- brought over home cooked meals. Susan-sized home-cooked meals.
- brought over a bunch of easy-to-cook groceries
- worried non-stop in only the way she can

I'm seriously the luckiest guy to have a sister like her.」

『註三』: 兒子對住院檢查乙事，在臉書（Facebook）上的記載 :

Day 1: Day 1 of long-term EEG.

Like my gauze football helmet?

Visitors (incl. Susan and Gilbert).

It's "only" 9:30PM, but I'm exhausted. The doctor asked me to get no more than 3-4 hours of sleep last night. I'm not allowed to go to bed before 2AM, and have to wake up by 6AM.

Since lack of sleep is a major contributor of seizures. They want to deprive me of sleep until I have 3, maybe more seizures.

Thanks Susan, Duke, Jeff, Alex, Ái Vân, and Joshua for spending time with me today.

Also thank you Linda for taking my dad home in the morning.

Day 2: Really appreciate all the support and love you've shown on Day 2!

As for the medical stuff... Still waiting for an episode to happen so they can collect the data and figure out if it's seizures or something else.

The doctor is limiting me to 4 hours of sleep per night. She also stopped the seizure medication. Hopefully I'll be loopy tomorrow.

Actually, would be grateful if you could pray for, or wish that I get a seizure tomorrow.

Bet you don't hear that much. =)

Day 3 : Day 3 of EEG study and still no seizure despite sleeping only 10 hours total the past 3 nights.

Having a hard time working because I'm so tired and brain is operating at half-speed at best.

The disappointment of not being able to figure out what's going on is countered by the joy of spending time with friends and family - some of whom I haven't seen in a while.

Day 4 : Day 4 is coming to a close and the odds of having a seizure are becoming slim.

Even though there's no data for the doctor to analyze, I'm praying for the possibility that the seizures will go away on their own in due time.

For the 4th day in a row, I feel completely loved by family and friends that have come to visit or "babysit" me.

Day 5 : And I'm home.

Felt good to take the "leather football helmet" off and finally scratch my itchy scalp.

Appreciate the support and love the past week. Especially to Gilbert, Susan, Sing, Duke, Chalin, Grace and the rugrats, Hideka, Min, Linda, Jeff, Joshua, Don, Mike, Donna, Sabastian, Ái Vân, Kwang, Brian and Alex for "babysitting" me, or transporting my dad to and from the hospital.

I know the Kaiser staff will probably never see this, but they made my 5-day vaca... err... hospital stay stress free. Without them, I would have had multiple seizures (lol?).

Will see what happens next. Hopefully the meds can keep the seizures at bay, because the alternative - brain surgery - does not sound like something I'd want to undergo.

『註四』：二月二十二日對辭去The Irvine Development Corporation（IDC）工作的說明：

「I quit Irvine Company last Friday. Partly because of a terrible boss (who got himself fired last week), and also because I didn't think they were committed to the changes they talked about.

So now I'm unemployed with some unknown medical issues.

But don't feel bad for me. Already have a job offer from my previous company; a good group of doctors trying to figure out what's wrong with my brain; family and friends who genuinely care about my well-being.

Special thanks to my sister Susan and accountability partner Brian for being with me every step of the way.

And no, I'm not dying. Not that anyone's told me anyway.」