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2013/12/29 14:51:42瀏覽1136|回應20|推薦39 | |
不平凡的耶誕節 金大俠 耶誕節能平平安安就是福,但對某些人,平平安安也是奢望! 其一、公祭楊叔叔 新竹老家(大煙囪下的忠貞新村)的楊叔叔(楊立吾)十二月仙逝,享年87歲!公祭、葬禮訂於12月24日在新竹市立生命紀念園區(新竹市立殯儀館)舉行。楊叔叔的官階似乎不大(我從沒留意、在意過),眷村內的大小要事常見其身影幚東忙西,有時似乎囉嗦、有時似乎嚴厲(對小蘿蔔頭啦),他"沒大沒小"、平易近人,會嘻稱我為"大隊長"(因為家父在聯隊部幹過大隊長)。村中的長官袍襗過世,他都一一送行。五十餘年他堅守大煙囪眷村碉堡!遙祝楊叔叔一路好走、楊家人節哀順變! 其二、換屁股 同事B的左髖關節長期不適,耶誕節前請長假去做髖關節置換術(hip replacement),我嘻稱他去換屁股。手術後,還要復健、復員,諸多不便,同事H於12/20寫封email去“慰問”: 「B,同事們都嚇壞了,當我們發現,髖關節手術後你竟覺得無聊,這怎麼可能?(吾等耶誕節前仍忙呀)我們得如何幫助你呢?經過一番討論、探究你無聊的可能原因,我們想出了一個主意。預計今日你會收到包裹,是給你的,很安全,請安心地打開。我們確信你知道如何做,我們期待看到最終產品。你若仍覺無聊,請告之,我們有信心讓你不再抱怨。祝早日康復。」 我以email補充:「順便一提,如果你在辦公室也覺無聊、厭倦,你可走出你的辦公室、走到你斜對面T的辦公室,T是整個公司最快樂的人啊!看看他來公司工作是多麼的快樂,快樂是會傳染的!祝耶誕節快樂!」 B以email回覆:「醫生昨天說,到目前為止,我的臀部復員得超“正常”,很快就能緩緩行走。星期二我已停止使用學步器,今天用拐杖、逐步順手了。運氣好的話,我26號返回公司時,我應該不會再需要學步器、拐杖。祝佳節愉快!若收到包裹我會告訴你們。又,T由行為乖戾之人升為整個公司的“快樂先生”,呃,肯定是吃了藥!這世界怎麼了?」 26日B已順利返回工作崗位,拄著柺杖,行動雖緩,幽默不減! 其三、運動過度 23日晚上,朋友S與十七歲的女兒及另一位朋友C,三美女去Rio運動健身(終於想開了)。因是第一次去,還特地找了一位個人教練,從旁指導(以防萬一唄)。也不過做了二、三十分鐘的訓練,S突然眼冒金星、耳朵小鳥嘰啾,倒地、昏了!“嚇死"旁人,來人囉、救人哦。Rio立即打911通知救護車,救護車還沒有來之前,S也悠悠醒來,直說沒事了(也不肥的S為了減肥,當天僅吃一只蘋果),想要回家!Rio硬是不敢放人,等到咿哇咿哇的救護車來到,Rio與救護人員硬是照程序、上架、抬上救護車,送往急診室!美國醫院的急診室大夥也知,醫生久等不到,到了也是一閃而過、護士一團忙碌(別忙中有錯,就萬幸也!)S丈夫也隨後趕到,雖是什麼都沒事的虛驚一場,S的女兒細心照顧媽媽令S感動,也算欣慰!當然,等S接到昂貴離譜的賬單時,不知她是否又會倒地、昏了! 其四、血壓居高臨下 以下是好友email來她不平凡的聖誕節••• 「昨晚(12/24)救護車匆匆把我抬進急診室,我的血壓居高臨下,堅守180/110高地,熱血在腦袋裡凶湧爆開,五穀在胃囊內翻江倒海,不久就以火山爆發之勢噴湧而出。醫生像隱形人似一閃而過,技術員們在我心上畫起作戰電圖,緊接著X光射線在我頭顱裡做地毯式掃描,鮮紅的血檢管林立架上,只見似懂非懂的護士們胡亂忙碌。終於、終於用猛藥攻下了高地。屆時天已破曉,一個新的聖誕節開始。我被送回家觀察治療。祝大俠全家聖誕快樂!剛從險境中逃身的H於聖誕節」 H的耶誕節很令人“回味"、回憶,她寫來倒是輕鬆有趣,應是脫離險境!她返家後乖乖按時吃降壓藥,31日還得去看醫生做進一步檢查。大俠養生保健第一課:「自己的身體自己顧」,每日做做瑜伽、太極拳等養生保健,應是不錯的選擇,自己的身、心、靈一定得平常就要好好鍛鍊! 其五、菊花大開 12/24晚上吃火鍋,麻辣的,很過癮,滿足了口腹之慾,卻對如廁不適。怎麼說呢?就是大俠第二天上大號時,衞生紙往屁股擦時,不,正確地說是往屁眼(asshole)、或學名的肛門或俗稱的菊花擦時,衞生紙上不僅有“黃金"、還有紅血。以往吃麻辣火鍋時就曾發生過,但這回算是“血流不止",情況嚴重,浪費了不少衞生紙、血染了垃圾桶、嚇了大俠自己。終於、終於如廁畢,仍要以衞生紙折成衞生綿的大小與厚度,體貼在菊花上,才再拉上內褲、外褲,以防萬一!坐著時,菊花不乖,仍隱隱作痛、偶要側坐;當然,我是大俠,豈會為此小事傷煩!25日晚上洗澡(沖浴)時,忽然菊花處流下一淌鮮血到浴池上,不明究竟者,肯定誤以為大俠月經來了、或大俠的處女膜破了、或大俠是雌雄同體,嚇人唷!此嚇人之作可能也會登上金氏世界紀錄吧!菊花仍隱隱作痛,我突發奇想,以手指輕撫菊花,更是嚇了自己一大跳,菊花大開也!感覺就像大金魚的凸嘴唇,軟軟的、凸凸的、隱隱作痛的!大俠第一次這麼仔細地撫摸著自己的菊花、大開的菊花、未曾有過的大菊花,又是心頭一驚••• [註:時至今日(28日),大俠胃腸已康復、菊花已復原,朋友、格友不須問候!] 《大俠養身詩》 清茶淡飯加粗穀, 《大俠健身詩》 腦臉按一按, 腹肌練一練, 雙手常伸展, 雙腿勤保健。 《多吃水菓》 一日一蘋果,醫生遠離我; 一日一香蕉,降壓通便藥; 常常食甘蔗,解除心胸熱; 小小一粒棗,滋補強身寶; 一片黃鳳梨,生津和胃益; 一串紫葡萄,補血固腎好。 西方人說‘‘One apple a day keeps doctor away.”(一日一蘋果,醫生遠離我), 此一老式箴言起源於1860年威爾斯(Wales)的彭布羅克郡 (Pembrokeshire),最早 的說法是‘‘Eat an apple on going to bed, and you’ll keep the doctor from earning his bread.” 之後,這句話演變到“an apple a day, no doctor to pay” 及‘‘One apple a day keeps doctor away.” 總之,蘋果、水菓都是好食物! 《2013年12月28日於華府》 [註:其二、換屁股中的原文…同事H於12/20寫封email去“慰問”: B, We, your friends and colleagues, were horrified when we discovered that you are bored. How can this be? How can we help? After some consideration and discussion of the possible root cause of your boredom, we came up with an idea. You are scheduled to receive a package today (do tell us if it arrives by drone). It is safe to open and it is indeed for you. After you have an opportunity to open and examine it, we are certain that you will know how to deal with it. We look forward to seeing the end product. Know that our good wishes are with you. And do tell us if the boredom continues, I have confidence that we could find other means to assist in shedding that complaint. H.
我以email回復補充••• BTW … if the boredom continues due to the environments in office or others, another way to get rid of your boredom during your regular hardworking day is to step out of your cube every now and then, to walk toward your colleague Tom H (TH) who is diagonal across your cube. Tom is the happiest Associate in the office, if not the whole company. You, and many of us of course, can definitely learn a lot from TH (aka, Toward Happiness)! He is our role model and beacon Toward Happiness! Have a wonderful holiday!
B的email回覆: In so far as my hip goes, I saw the doctor yesterday and he said that I am about a week ahead of "normal" in so far as recovery goes (being able to walk again). As most will latest to, being normal is something I usually don't subscribe to. I stopped using the walker as of Tuesday and getting around much better today with the use of a cane. With any luck, I won't need either by the time I come back to work on the 26th. Happy Holidays to all and I will let you know once whatever gets here. Boy...things must have REALLY changed since I went out on medical leave. Tom was apparently promoted from Chief Curmudgeon to "Mr. Happy" (gotta be the drugs). What is this world coming to?
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