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The Courage to Be Disliked 被討厭的勇氣(上)
空中英語教室 20241007
修正下文英文文法，但是保留其中的中文
Sure! Here’s your text with grammatical corrections while keeping the original Chinese parts intact:
Hello friends and welcome to Studio Classroom!
We’re so glad you’ve joined us today.
My name is Ann Marie and my name is John, friends.
Today is a great day to learn something new. It certainly is!
So let’s do that together.
Here’s a question to get us started today:
Are you ready?
The question is: Do you care what other people think of you?
That is a good question.
Do I care about other people’s opinions of me?
Yes, I do, because I think other people’s opinions are important.
I want to know how people think and how they feel so I can understand them.
But sometimes it’s important not to let other people’s opinions totally change what we do, right?
That’s a really good point.
I think in life we have to care about what other people think about us so we know if we’re hurting someone’s feelings by our actions.
Or if we have a boss at our job, we have to make them happy in order to keep our job.
We have to think about what other people think.
But friends, today in our article, we are going to hear a different opinion about this.
It’s kind of a controversial idea.
Our article today is called The Courage to Be Disliked.
Let’s get into our first reading right now.
The Courage to Be Disliked: Lessons on How to Transform Your Life and Be Happy
With over 10 million books sold, this Japanese phenomenon has become a life-changing guide to personal happiness and self-fulfillment.
Five dialogues between a young man and a philosopher take a look at psychologist Alfred Adler’s theories.
Their discussions focus on how people’s choices affect their lives.
The book argues that every problem people have comes down to caring too much about what others think of them.
Hi everyone, welcome to Language Lab!
I’m Jack.
我们先来看名词 philosopher，意思是哲学家。
比如，The cafe hosted a lively discussion group where amateur philosophers discussed the ethics of artificial intelligence.
这间咖啡馆举办了一个热烈的讨论小组，业余哲学家们在一起讨论了人工智能的伦理问题。
或是，Struggling with the big question in life, Amy studied the writings of ancient philosophers like Plato and Confucius.
为了探究人生重大问题，Amy研读了古代哲学家如柏拉图和孔子的著作。
与 philosopher 相关的名词是 philosophy，也就是指哲学。
譬如，The university offers a political philosophy course that explores ideas that support different forms of government.
该大学开设一门政治哲学课程，探讨支持不同政府形式的理念。
All right, thank you so much, Jack.
Friends, let’s get right into our lesson.
We read here Lessons on How to Transform Your Life and Be Happy before.
Before we get into the body of our text, we want to talk about this phrase, lessons on something.
You hear that all the time.
We’re having a lesson right now. A lesson is defined as a period of learning or teaching, so it’s a time to sit down and learn. That’s right.
When you see the word on with that word lesson, it’s talking about the fact that there’s a certain topic being taught.
Maybe you have heard your teacher at school say, “Friends, or class, today your lesson is on this.”
But how does our lesson continue, John?
Well, we’re going to have a lesson about a famous and popular book.
We read together that with over 10 million books sold, this Japanese phenomenon has become a life-changing guide to personal happiness and self-fulfillment.
Okay, that’s a big promise.
That is a big promise.
We read on: Five dialogues between a young man and a philosopher take a look at psychologist Alfred Adler’s theories.
Let’s talk about this word dialogue.
Dialogue is just a conversation; usually there are two or more people involved.
Generally, we use the word dialogue instead of conversation when we’re talking about a conversation that happens in a book, a play, or a film.
That’s right! You use this word a lot in international politics.
You could say the two countries had a long dialogue.
They’re talking back and forth.
That’s right!
Well, we read on next: Their discussions focus on how people’s choices affect their lives.
I think any book about psychology or life would talk about this, right?
We need to focus on how our choices affect the way we live.
But what does that phrase focus on mean?
It means to spend special time and pay close attention to some topic.
You could say, “I want to focus on English when I study tonight.”
If you want to give that extra attention, that’s a good point.
All right, so here’s the main focus of this book:
The book argues that every problem people have—okay, another big promise—comes down to caring too much about what others think of them.
Okay, let’s talk about this phrase comes down to first so we can better understand this sentence.
If you say it comes down to this thing, you’re talking about something depending on one specific thing.
So you could use that in a sentence, right?
Yeah, for example:
“When I was trying to choose which college or university I wanted to attend, I had a lot of options, but it came down to the price of tuition.”
Tuition was the thing that mattered to me the most.
I see.
So what the author of the book is trying to say, it seems, is that when you care too much, you have a lot of problems—when you care too much about what other people think, right?
Not only that, he’s arguing that every problem people have comes from caring about what others think.
We’ll talk about whether we agree with this or not later on, friends.
But right now, it’s time for us to go into our next reading:
The Courage to Be Disliked.
The conversation involving the concept of denying trauma causes the most debate.
While we may have experienced trauma, nothing is determined by that experience until we give it meaning.
When we do that, we let it determine how much it will influence our present and future.
接下来看 concept 这个名词，意思是概念。
譬如，The marketing team thought up new concepts for the advertising campaign, hoping to catch the audience’s attention.
营销团队想出了新的广告活动概念，希望能吸引群众的注意。
或是，The restaurant owners farm-to-table concept became popular with customers as they enjoyed the fresh food.
餐厅老板的从农场到餐桌的概念受到了顾客的欢迎，因为他们喜欢新鲜的食物。
或是，Mastering the concept of time management is important for anyone who is going to school and working.
掌握时间管理的概念对于每个上学和工作的人来说都很重要。
Okay friends, let’s talk about this claim that every problem people have comes down to caring too much about what other people think about them.
The conversation involving the concept of denying trauma causes the most debate.
So already, friends, we’ve seen two words here: arguing in the first section and debate here.
That tells you that what’s being discussed in this book is controversial.
Let’s talk about this word denying first.
If you deny something, it means you say it didn’t happen.
For example, “My coworker keeps denying that he ate my snacks.”
That means I think he ate my snacks, but he’s saying he didn’t do it.
But we see another word here we want to talk about, and that’s the word trauma.
That’s right! Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience—something really bad that happens to you, worse than normal.
You could use that in a sentence: “I had a lot of trauma after that dog bit me.”
It’s something that really makes me feel scared.
Exactly! There are lots of different types of trauma in the world, right?
You could have trauma from your childhood—we call that childhood trauma.
You could have trauma from an abusive relationship.
There are all kinds of different traumas.
But we see here that there’s this concept of denying trauma.
We read on here to see what that’s about:
While we may have experienced trauma, nothing is determined by that experience until we give it meaning.
Hmm, all right. Well, first let’s talk about this phrase to be determined by something.
Okay, so to determine something or to be determined by means to cause something to happen or to define something.
So we could use that in a sentence, yeah?
We can! For example:
Success is often determined by how hard you work.
If you work hard, then you’ll probably be more successful.
But what do you think about what the writer is saying here, John?
Well, I think we want to be really careful because even though we can have a lot of power by making good decisions and thinking in
the right way, not everything is changed just by our thinking, you know?
That’s a good point.
There’s a big real world that happens outside of our thinking, and the reality is, friends, we can’t control what other people do to us.
It is impossible to control others around you.
You can control the way you respond or the way you react, but the fact of the matter is we are going to get hurt in life.
So I’m not sure if I totally agree with this statement.
Bad things do happen to people all the time; it happens to all of us.
But what we’re reading here is that this writer, this psychologist, believes that when we do that, we let it determine how much it will influence our present and future.
Okay, I think he’s making kind of a good point.
But you know, there’s this word forgiveness that’s really, really important, and we aren’t going to talk about it in the writing.
So I just want to say if someone’s treated you badly, actually forgiving and saying, “Wow, you treated me badly, but I forgive you,” is really, really important for healing from trauma—not just ignoring it.
I think that’s so healthy because if you just ignore trauma, it’s like denying that it happened to you or denying that it was hurtful.
But when you forgive, you acknowledge that you were hurt.
You admit that the other person did hurt you, and you can move past it.
All right, friends, let’s go now to our InfoCloud!
Hello everyone, welcome to InfoCloud!
Garrett, I’m thinking of taking a solo trip across the country to learn more about it and to learn more about myself.
Oh wow, that sounds like a big trip!
What’s your motivation?
I’ve just been feeling stuck in my routines lately.
I feel like everything is decided for me.
I want to exercise my personal agency.
I understand that, but Rex, you’ll need to explain what you mean by that.
I know you haven’t started your own detective agency!
Ha ha!
No, not yet at least.
A company or organization could be called an agency, but personal agency is the feeling of control you have over your actions and feelings.
When you’re a kid, your parents decide most things for you, like what to eat and what activities you’ll participate in. You don’t have very much agency.
But when you’re an adult, you should have the ability to make a lot more decisions for yourself. However, the pressures of money, work, and family can still make us feel like we don’t have much agency in our lives.
That’s why taking a big trip or doing something else that takes us out of our routines can be a great way for us to take up agency over our own lives. Maybe I’ll go on a trip to...
personal agency 个人自主性 今天跟大家介绍一个比较少听到的用语，那就是 personal agency。
Agency 原本是代理或是代办机构，例如旅行社就是 travel agency。
但是 personal agency 就是一个人对自己想法和行动的自主性。
如果什么事都是别人帮你决定的，那就不是 personal agency。
I want to exercise my personal agency 我要行使我的自主权利，意思就是说我不想再让别人控制我了，我自己决定自己的事情。
这就是今天 InfoCloud，我们下次云端见！
The courage to be disliked. Another discussion revolves around how all problems are interpersonal relationship problems.
If we feel inferior to others, it’s because we compare ourselves to them.
But this feeling, if used correctly, can promote growth. In one example, someone feels inferior due to their lack of education.
If they decide to try harder than anyone else, they’re going in a desirable direction. However, if they think they can’t succeed, they won’t.
我们再来看形容词 inferior，意思是较差的或刺激的。
譬如：Because he felt inferior to most of his classmates, Darren hesitated to participate in group discussions.
Darren觉得自己比大多数的同学都差，所以犹豫是否要参加小组讨论。
或是：The traveler wrote about his experiences in inferior tourist destinations, proving that they often had more to offer than popular locations.
这位旅客写下了他在刺激旅游景点的经验，证明那些地方往往比热门景点更有吸引力。
或是：Even though Mandy’s phone was rated somewhat inferior to the most popular one, she was totally satisfied with it.
虽然 Mandy 的手机背屏比最受欢迎的手机稍微差一点，但她对自己的这款手机非常满意。
最后来看形容词 desirable，意思是理想的。
譬如：With its location near the beach, the downtown apartment was desirable for young professionals.
市中心的公寓靠近海滩，是年轻专业人士的理想选择。
或是：The job description listed strong communication skills and a positive attitude as desirable qualities for any applicants.
这份职务描述将良好的沟通技巧和积极的态度列为所有应聘者应具备的条件。
Desirable 的名词是 desirability，譬如：Despite the locations desirability, the high cost of living made it too expensive for most homeowners.
尽管地点很理想，但高昂的生活成本对大多数屋主来说还是太贵了。
Well, we just learned about one argument the book makes. Here’s another one, friends.
Another point this book makes revolves around how all problems are interpersonal relationship problems.
Okay, let’s talk about what it means if something revolves around something else.
Okay, that means something is the main topic or subject.
So you could use that in a sentence when you’re talking about a discussion, right?
Sure, you could say, The discussion revolved around her problems, not his. Or maybe, Your whole life revolves around your job.
That means everything has to do with your job.
Okay, so we also have another interesting word here in the sentence: interpersonal. Now, what is interpersonal?
This relates to relationships or communication between people.
Yeah, between people. So you could say, Teaching is a great interpersonal job because we’re always talking to other people.
So there are lots of different interpersonal things. You see the two parts of the word: inter, which means between, and of course personal, which means about people.
That’s right. So we read on here: If we feel inferior to others, it’s because we compare ourselves to them.
Okay, I partially agree with this. I think comparing ourselves to each other can really lead to problems because everyone’s lives are different; everyone’s situation is different.
That is a good way to make yourself discontent.
That’s right. You don’t want to feel upset that other people are doing better. But I really believe that it’s important to think of other people as better than yourself.
It makes your whole life actually a lot more free. The author of this book, however, disagrees with me. That’s okay, but let’s hear what they say.
They say, But this feeling, if used correctly, can promote growth.
So what does promote mean? Well, to promote something means to support or actively encourage or further the progress of something.
So what the writer here is saying is that if you compare yourselves to others, this can help you grow.
I see. You could also use that word reading promotes a good vocabulary. It’s a great word.
We also read here: In one example, someone feels inferior due to their lack of education. If they decide to try harder than anyone else, they’re going in a desirable direction.
Okay, that word inferior is the main part of the sentence, yeah.
If something is inferior, it’s not as good as something else. So for example, I feel that that shop’s coffee is inferior to the coffee that I make at home; my coffee at home is better.
I see. So he’s telling us to try harder.
But what do we read at the end here?
However, if they think they can’t succeed, they won’t.
So it seems like the author is really focused on the idea that the author of The Courage to Be Disliked really wants people to ignore what others think and work hard.
Now, there’s some good here, but I think we’ll have to talk a little bit more about this.
I think you’re right, but right now, friends, it’s time for something fun.
Let’s go to today’s fun fact!
Hello, fact friends!
I’m Detective Ernest Finder, and I have a fun fact for you.
Today, did you know that Japan is the 54th happiest country in the world? Not bad, right?
But this is actually the lowest among other developed countries. So if you have a friend from Japan, maybe give them a hug today! And that is today’s fun fact.
All right, friends, do we agree or disagree with this book’s content so far? What do you think, John?
Well, I like that he’s teaching people to be strong and not to be super scared of what other people think.
But what I don’t like is we haven’t talked about the purpose of life, which I believe is to love other people, to care about other people, and to sacrifice for other people.
He seems to be really focused on himself; it feels kind of selfish to me.
Oh, that makes sense.
I think for me, the part that I don’t really like is this idea of denying trauma.
I think that’s really not fair to people who have experienced really awful things in their lives. Trauma affects us, and trauma really does change the way we think and interact with other people.
So to just say, “Oh, ignore the trauma, and it won’t have control over you,” I think that’s kind of a naive way of thinking.
But friends, we’re not done talking about this book; we have more to learn about tomorrow.
We’ll see you then, right here on Studio Classroom. Bye!
The Courage to Be Disliked 被討厭的勇氣(下) 空中英語教室 20241008
修正下文英文文法，但是保留其中的中文
Sure! Here’s the corrected text with the Chinese parts preserved:
Hello, friends, and welcome to Studio Classroom. Thanks for being here! Today, my name is Ann Marie, and my name is John. Friends, today is a great day to learn something new, so let’s do that together. You’re just in time for day two of our article called "The Courage to Be Disliked."
"The Courage to Be Disliked" is a book. This is our psychology article, so you’re going to be introduced to some interesting ideas that you may or may not agree with. If you joined us yesterday, you heard some ideas about not being so worried about what other people think about you. However, the author of the book "The Courage to Be Disliked" also talked about how all problems stem from caring too much about what other people think. Ann Marie and I disagreed a little bit.
Yeah, that’s right! I especially disliked the part where the author talked about denying trauma and how we just have to pretend trauma didn’t exist or not let it control us. I think it’s very important to acknowledge that trauma has affected us so that we can forgive the people who hurt us and move on. That’s so important because when you forgive people, you actually start really growing and healing. You can even love people who caused you trauma. But I don’t think our author—the author of this book—talks about that much. We’ll see what else he tries to teach us, and we’ll talk about it together today.
Let’s get into our first reading right now: "The Courage to Be Disliked." Another dialogue centers on how to achieve real happiness only by eliminating the need to be recognized by others. Will our lives be changed? To accomplish this, we need to understand the separation of tasks. When someone doesn’t like us, we think the problem is ours, but it is really theirs. It is not our task to make a person like us.
Hi everyone, welcome to Language Lab! I’m Jack.
先来看名词 "separation"，意思是分开分离。例如，"The company implemented a new policy that required a separation of duties to prevent conflicts of interest." 该公司实施了一项新政策，要求分工明确以防止利益冲突。或是 "The war caused a separation of families that lasted more than a decade." 战争造成家庭分离长达数十年。或是 "Most small children experience separation anxiety on their first day of kindergarten." 大多数小孩在上幼稚园的第一天都会经历分离焦虑。
All right, friends, let’s look at our first sentence here: "Another dialogue centers on how to achieve real happiness." First, let’s talk about this phrase "to center on something." This means that you have something as the main subject or main interest. Okay, so you could say, "Our plan centers on rescuing wild animals." That’s what we’re trying to do, yeah.
That’s right! Now, I don’t totally agree with this sentence. "To achieve happiness," in my opinion, happiness is a feeling, so it’s kind of odd to use the word "achieve" with it. That’s my personal opinion. There’s another word, "joy," that we sometimes use as well. Joy is actually deep down having something that can cause feelings of happiness.
But we read on here that "only by eliminating the need to be recognized by others will our lives be changed." Okay, "eliminating" is a very useful word, and it means to completely remove something. That’s right! For example, when some people are on a diet, they might eliminate certain foods like junk food or sugar from their diet.
Okay, so the author is saying if we get rid of feeling like we need people’s approval, then we can change our lives. I think we can agree with some of that there, but we also read on: "To accomplish this, we need to understand the separation of tasks." That’s right! So we see this word "accomplish" here, friends, and that means to achieve or complete something successfully. You can usually use this word with the word "goals." You can accomplish a goal. So you could say, "Jane accomplished many tasks this week."
That’s right! So we read on here: "When someone doesn’t like us, we often think the problem is ours, but it is really theirs." I do halfway agree with this, John.
Okay, what do you mean?
Well, I mean that a lot of times I feel like I’ve been myself; I haven’t done anything wrong to someone or hurt someone, and they just don’t like me. I think it’s fair to say in life there will always be people who don’t like you.
Yeah, that’s a good point! I really think it’s important to add that we should make sure that we don’t hate other people. But sometimes we don’t like people, and then we judge them for not liking us. A great teacher once said, "Take the log out of your own eye before you try to take the speck out of other people’s eyes." Again, I think it’s really important to love and care about people who might dislike us.
I’m not sure if that’s what the author of this book is trying to teach us, so be careful. Because we should care about others, that’s right. And if you are caring about others and you are kind to them, but they still don’t like you, well, that’s really not your problem. That is their problem. It’s not our task to make a person like us.
So what is a task? Well, a task is a piece of work that has to be done or undertaken. You might have tasks at school, at home, or at work. You could say, "One of my tasks around the house is to wash the dishes." You probably have a lot of tasks in your life.
So now the question is: Is it our task to make other people like us? I don’t think we can make people like us, but I think we should try.
Yeah, I think that we can be kind and loving to others. This is something great for you to talk about in English. Friends, have you ever tried to make someone like you before? We have a phrase in English called "to win someone over." This is the idea that someone doesn’t like you at first, and maybe they don’t want to be friends with you, but you win them over. You do something to make them like you, and now you have a good relationship.
And what’s the best way to win people over? It’s with kindness. Be kind to each other, even if people don’t like you.
All right, friends, it’s time for us to go to our next reading right now: "The Courage to Be Disliked."
The fourth discussion focuses on the feeling of loneliness. We can feel lonely when we have the courage to change our lives and achieve happiness. We see from the separation of tasks that we are the only ones in control of our lives. Only by taking control can we be of use to our community in a positive way.
再来看 "loneliness" 这个名词，意思是孤独。比如，"Despite being surrounded by people at the crowded party, Alex felt a sense of loneliness." 尽管身在四周都是人的热闹派对中，Alex还是感到很孤独。或是 "Her neighborhood buzzed with life, but inside her apartment, Sarah felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness." Sarah的社区生气勃勃，充满活力，但她在公寓里却感受到巨大的孤独感。或是 "Shawn forced a smile at the party, the happy chatter and joyful music increasing the loneliness he was trying to hide." Shawn在派对上强颜欢笑，但快乐的交谈和欢乐的音乐加剧了他试图掩饰的孤独感。
Thank you so much, Jack! Well, in this first sentence, we see the word "discussion." Now, we’ve seen the word "dialogue" several times in the rest of our lesson, so let’s talk about the difference between a dialogue and a discussion.
Okay, a discussion is a time when people talk and share ideas. So it’s kind of ongoing; it’s a little bit more loose. But a dialogue is between two people; it’s a little bit more intentional.
Okay, so here’s an example of how you might use the word "discussion" in a sentence: "The proposal has been in discussion for two years." So it means for two years, the company has been talking about this proposal.
So this whole sentence reads: "The fourth discussion focuses on the feeling of loneliness." This is a heavy topic; there are so many lonely people in our world. How does our lesson continue, John?
Well, we read that we can feel lonely when we have the courage to change our lives and achieve happiness. So "to achieve" something means to successfully reach a goal. You did it!
That’s right! We talked about this a little bit earlier in the first section. You can achieve a goal; you can achieve results as well. We see from the separation of tasks that we are the only ones in control of our lives.
Okay, so we learned about this idea of the separation of tasks earlier, but I want to talk a little bit more about this word "separation." You saw that in the Language Lab a moment ago, and as you know, it just means the action or state of moving or being moved apart.
Okay, so you can use that with relationships. You could say, "My friend group separated after college." Everyone moved away from each other.
So I think it’s kind of interesting that the author says we need to separate tasks to achieve happiness. To me, that sounds like a lot more work because if you have to push away what other people think, it takes a lot more effort, and it’s really hard to be happy, even if it makes some things feel easier.
This is a good point. I also want to talk about this phrase: "the fact that we are the only ones in control of our lives." Do you feel like you’re totally in control of your life, John?
Well, as much as I want to fly, Ann Marie, I’ve never been able to fly, so I think there are other factors that control us—some really important things.
But the author writes here, "Only by taking control"—there’s that word again—"can we be of use to our community in a positive way."
Okay, it’s good to be a positive influence. So what does that phrase "taking control" mean?
Well, to take control of something means that you have the power to give orders, make decisions, and take responsibility for something. And yes, I definitely think you should take responsibility for your actions. After all, you are the one who chose to make those decisions and to take those actions.
But the fact of the matter is we cannot control our lives. Friends, there are so many external factors, like John just said, that also control us. However, there is something we do have control over: we can take control of the way we feel. When we have a feeling, we can control how we respond once we experience that feeling. That’s right—you can respond.
So we call this self-control. You can’t change what happens to you, but you can still respond in a loving way. Well, friends, there’s a lot more for us to talk about, but now it’s time for our Info Cloud.
Hello, friends! Welcome to Info Cloud. Hey, Rex, what should we talk about today?
Hi, Garrett! I came across a quote by Mahatma Gandhi: "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." Let’s discuss what the quote means.
That’s a great quote, Rex. Let’s break it down. When Gandhi says "find yourself," he is talking about discovering your true identity and purpose in life. So the quote tells us what Gandhi thought we should do to figure out who we are and what makes us happy.
Exactly! Now, "lose yourself" means you should stop thinking about yourself and your own problems and worries. That is a big issue. There are a lot of people who spend way too much time thinking about themselves.
You’re right! The quote tells us that the best way to stop being self-centered is to help and care about others. I see. So "in the service of others" means helping and caring for other people?
Yes, the quote basically tells us that we need to put others first if we want to have a fulfilling and meaningful life.
Find yourself 找到自我 Lose yourself 不再以自我为中心
In the service of others 服务别人
圣雄甘地曾经说过找到自我的方法就是透过服务他人忘掉自我。
"Find yourself" 就是找到自我或是找到自己的身份认同以及自己的人生目的。
"Lose yourself" 就是忘掉自我或是不再以自我为中心，不再忧虑自己的困难和问题，去关心别人。
"In the service of others" 就是服务别人。当你非常投入地服务别人，有时候会忘记自己的烦恼或是找到内心的满足感，不再忧虑自己的问题。这就是今天的 Info Cloud，我们下次云端见。
The Courage to Be Disliked: Praising or criticizing people is discouraged in the last dialogue. Engaging in this kind of behavior means we are putting people in a higher or lower position than ourselves. This happens because we are evaluating them in terms of ourselves. We need to look at others as our equals. The book’s message seems to be: do not live to satisfy the expectations of others. 接下来看 "criticize" 这个动词，意思是批评。例如，Jasmine criticized her friend’s clothes and suggested a scarf might add some color. Jasmine批评了她朋友的服装，并建议戴条围巾来增添一些色彩。或者，John’s boss unfairly criticized his work performance and didn’t acknowledge the long hours he had put in on the project. 老板对他的工作表现做了不公平的批评，也没有认可他在这个项目上付出的很多时间。
"Criticize" 的名词是 "criticism"，也就是批评或评论。譬如，before he gave any criticism, the professor first praised the student’s effort. 教授在做出任何评论之前，先称赞了这位学生的努力。
最后来看名词 "expectation"，意思是期望。譬如，Bethany nervously approached the job interview, her expectations both hopeful and uncertain. Bethany紧张地准备工作面试，她的期望既充满希望又充满不确定。或者，the Bakery’s reputation for delicious baked goods created high expectations. 这家面包店以美味的烘焙食品而闻名，让人们对它寄予了厚望。或者，the company’s profits this year were far below its expectations, causing it to make major changes. 最近，公司今年的利润远低于预期，所以进行了重大改革。
Thank you, Jack! Friends, there’s one more thing we want to talk about from this book, and it’s the idea of praising and criticizing other people. We read here that praising or criticizing people is discouraged in the book’s last dialogue.
Hmm, we’ll discuss our opinions about this in a minute, but first let’s contrast these two terms: John, praising and criticizing.
Okay, praising is saying "good job," telling somebody something that you like. Criticizing is pointing out something that’s wrong. You can criticize without being mean, but normally if someone is critical, it means they’re kind of mean and judgmental.
Yeah, we had an article a long time ago where we talked about constructive criticism and how sometimes when people criticize you, it’s to help you improve. Of course, praise is telling someone that what they are doing is already good or that they’ve done a good job. But the author of this book, The Courage to Be Disliked, discourages us from praising or criticizing.
So "discourage" means to try to stop or prevent by showing disapproval. So they say, "No, you shouldn’t criticize." I think that’s kind of funny because that’s criticism, right? They’re criticizing people for criticizing!
This is true, and this is a really hard way to live—not praising or criticizing people. It seems like you would just have a neutral opinion about everything. Then I think this author— I don’t know if they have any kids, but between us, I have three kids. You’ve got how many kids? There needs to be praise and criticism when raising your kids, and there needs to be a lot of praise for kids. Remember that, parents!
Let’s read on here: engaging in this kind of behavior means we are putting people in a higher or lower position than ourselves. What does that mean?
Well, the word "engaging" means connecting and doing something, usually with other people. I could say, "My dog was engaging in energetic running around the house."
That’s right! So it sounds like the writer feels that people shouldn’t compare themselves and put others in a higher or lower position than themselves. That’s why he discourages praising or criticizing.
This happens because we are evaluating them in terms of ourselves. Let’s talk about this phrase: "in terms of." If you use this phrase, it means that it’s with regard to the particular aspect or subject specified. So it just means we’re talking about this topic.
Oh, okay! So you could use it in an easy sentence: I could say, "In terms of friends, I was lucky—I had a lot of great friends."
You know what I like? I like this part: he also says we need to look at others as our equals. Of course, we need to do that. But I still think it’s really important to truly love people and put others before ourselves.
Yeah, it’s important to honor others and not be selfish, of course. So we have a sentence here at the end that sums up what this books message is: the book’s message seems to be: do not live to satisfy the expectations of others.
I like that! I think here we’re getting to a better part of the message. The word "satisfied" normally is used with food: "I was so satisfied after I ate the pizza." But we also use that word with things like expectations, as in living up to someone’s expectations.
That’s right! All right, friends, we’ll be right back after today’s fun fact.
Ah, hello, fact friends! I’m Detective Ernest Finder, and I have a fun fact for you today. Did you know that praising kids is very important? It teaches them how to learn right from wrong. So don’t be afraid to tell someone "good job"—it’s good for them! Praise also motivates students to do better. Good job practicing your English! I mean it! And that’s today’s fun fact.
All right, friends, as we wrap up this article, it’s time to think about your opinion. Do you agree or disagree with this book? Are there parts that you agree with? What do you think, John?
Yeah, I think a lot of it is really good. I have to praise the reminder that we shouldn’t be so worried about what other people think to the point that it stops us from doing the right thing. But I think we should care and try to understand what other people think, because how else can you love someone if you don’t care deeply about what they think?
I think that’s a really good point. I definitely agree with this message at the end here, where we read: do not live to satisfy the expectations of others.
That’s right! That shouldn’t be what our whole life’s focus is. But I do think we have to care about other people’s opinions so that we can have healthy relationships and succeed at work and at school.
But friends, this is a great thing for you to talk about in English, and we’ll see you next time with another article right here on Studio Classroom. Goodbye!
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