不要欲望很高

有些人會把欲望訂的很高，

譬如說心想躍馬雲霄。

没有人一生之中能夠達到，

不管你如何努力、勤勞。

但是它卻會

把我們的人生毀掉！

為什麼定要

硬討苦吃，不知逍遙？

08/03/2017

 英文原詩附後

 並請批評指正

Do Not Aim Our Eyes Very High

Some of us might aim our eyes very high.

Suppose like to park our cars on a star.

No one can ever do it in all one’s life.

No matter if you work very hard.

But, it can destroy part of our lives.

Probably even break them apart.

Why do we strain us so harsh!

Do not enjoy all our parts?

08/02/2017

有那位朋友願意告訴我「上列與下列二節中」您比較喜歡那一節？那一个字？

But, it can destroy part of our lives.

Probably even break them apart.

Why do we press (screw) us so tight!

Do not enjoy all our parts?

多謝 Reaizuguo 与其正二位老友的高明指導。

二位的建議，無論用字與造句，都比我原來的好。
拙詩為了押韻及排列整齊，有時不得不採彎捨直，而損害佳意。
茲決定变化的採用二位的建議，而先行修正如下：（歡迎那位再行惠予指正）

也多謝Pearlz老友的选择。

再度多謝！

Do Not Aim Our Eyes Very High

Some of us might aim our eyes very high,

suppose like to park our cars on a star.

No one can ever do it in all one’s life,

no matter, you work, how hard.

But, it can destroy part of our lives,

probably even break them apart.

Why harshly push ourselves,

do not enjoy all the parts?

.

再度考慮 (ten hours later) 又端出了另一個版本如下：

Do Not Aim Our Eyes Very High

Some of us might aim our eyes very high,

suppose like to park our cars on a star.

No one can ever do it in all one’s life,

no matter if you work very hard.

But, it can destroy part of our lives,

probably even break them apart.

Why push ourselves so wild,

do not enjoy all our parts?

如此可以保留 四 對隔行尾韻，

并且保留very high, very hard; our lives, our parts 等四對稀有的異位韻腳。
 wild在此可具有：野蠻、瘋狂、憤怒、風雨、荒謬、可笑、刺激、無羈 等多重意義。

並且可以與 ourselves 造成同行諧韻，與Why 同韻並同首字母。

各位朋友意下如何?