Maria was all excited when she told me she was going to California with her younger daughter, Beyonca.

"...Beyonca found an intern job at Disney World. I would like to take this opportunity to go with her for a few weeks....to make sure that she and her girl friend will be all right...and I would like to see if I can get a job there," she said.  

A job in California? Among all the problems we have in this bad economy, I thought California got the most hit. Didn't Gov. Arnold have a hard time with his state budget and all that last year? Are they doing any better now?

"But I hate snow... I hate living in the cold for 8 months out of 12...I hate bundling up like a bear all the time...I hate shoveling snow..." she went on and on. But moving to California would solve the problem?

"...if anyone can offer me a job just to sit on a beach and watch people, I would do it," Maria said, with her dreamy eyes smiling. Hey, I would do it and do it FOR FREE.

I do not blame her wanting to leave this job and have a fresh start in California. Considering the job we have, are we really making the difference the way we think we are? All we deal with these days are drug users, alcoholic, attempted suiciders, the alzheimers who need total care, or the alzheimers who need to be restrained so that we can provide total care. And the worst part is when we think they get better, they keep coming back later in a month or two. 

Then a month later Maria showed up in my zone early in the morning and told me that she might not go to the gold-rush state.

"...after my vacation time was approved for the end of June. Beyonca told me that they are taking off in early June. She is still thinking that she is taking my car to Californa," Maria said. Her new Kia that Britney wants but Maria is still paying for the car payments. Britney is her oldest daughter, Beyonca's big sister.

"I was about this close to snap...I am still paying their cell phones, the food, the rent, and all the living expenses..." she went on and on with a matter-of-fact look on her face that I have never seen before. Maria is a very dedicated single mother, who has been working a full time job in the hospital and raising two girls all by herself after the divorce. She lives for her two girls. She breathes for her two girls. So the point is...?

"The point is I have had enough!" said Maria. "I have done enough to support them. And they need to get out of the house and be on their own." WOW, KA-POW!

I know Maria had worked many years on her degree of elementary education. She wanted to be a teacher. But due to the fact that she needs a job that pays the bills, she has never put her hospital dead-end job on hold to take any internship at a school. And how long will these credits be valid before they are expired? And will she have the time and money to do it all over again once the credits are expired?

Maria also lost in touch with her "best friend" -- Dr. Salzman moved to Winsconsin six years ago. And last year he became a father of a new born baby girl for the first time at the age of 46. Dr. Salzman had always wanted a child with Maria. But Maria has always put her love life on hold for her own girls. "I could have been a rich housewife and never need to work a day the rest of my life if I married to Salzman," Maria used to say, being all depressed about it last year.

I don't know what I would do if I was Maria -- torn between one's own dream and the motherly obligation. I wonder if Maria has talked about it with her two girls. Maybe not. Just like the way my mother and many other mothers would do -- a mother would do what she has to do.