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| 2009/02/15 08:29:48瀏覽1254｜回應1｜推薦11 | |
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此篇係德州大哥的近作，屬於軍事小說系列（參見諸神的黃昏一文）。他的軍事小說所寫的其實都是軍中人物故事，非關整軍經武。以臺灣為藍本的軍事小說本來也只有人物可記，至於整軍經武之類，限於原始素材之極度貧乏，難以下筆。 這篇不擬翻譯，原因有二。一者篇幅較長，無力為之；二者限於學養，沒有把握維持原文獨特的韻味。雖如此，然此文甚奇，若真似幻，悲在言外，豈可不加評注？評注的部分純粹屬本人觀點，可能與作者原意有出入，但刻意不與他查證（除了第一段），以增加參差趣味。出錯的責任全部在我。穿插評注固然有損文氣，但讀小說本就該好整以暇，所以問題不大。 本文將分數次刊登，最後會有一篇總評。黑體字效果是我加的；原文中的粗話一字未刪，刪則失味，不足以傳達憤懣之氣、荒謬之感。罪我者，不知我也，宜就此打住。 All The King’s Other Men - To those I love or hate; those who love or hate me back for what I have done or being exactly who I am, and those who don’t give a damn about me and those who I them. 【小說題目出自 All the King's Men（一本政治小說）。獻詞中愛恨交織，又在乎又不在乎，矛盾中見統一，為全文氣韻所在。】 Did I hear it right that you wanted to know something about this guy who used to serve as a power broker within the KMT party? Well, I am not sure you have the stomach for it; hell, I am not sure I have the stomach for it either. So, how about we do the following? I will make up a story for you to read so when you’re done you can throw it away, no string attached. Was it real, you ask? Why would you want to know then? I don’t think you have always given or received your 100% guaranteed truth, your entire life, and I have yet to hear you loudly complain about it. Moaning and bitching a little perhaps but it is generally considered a healthy outlet as long one does not make a habit of it. What is truth then? If everything you have run into so far happened to be an unadjusted physical manifestation of this universe, you might as well blow your brain out now – trust me, I’ve been there; it, this universe, isn’t really as pretty as you give it credit for. How have I injured you? You wanted a sugar cane juice and I handed you a glass of sugar-saturated water; they’re both sugars, just not from the same cane. Among you religious folks truth is the poker chips you have to go settled with your creator, whoever he is, when the game is over. But if you were like me, an atheist, truth comes with your soul as a ‘Final Sale No Refund’ tag hung on to the back of it and your arms would always be an inch too short to reach it. This is where you want to hesitate: if you are religious, don’t read on; if you’re polite, don’t read on; if you’re good natured, don’t read on and if you belong to the elite few who for his entire fucking life has brushed his teeth and washed his face, done his homework and eaten his fruits, loved his neighbors and respected his elders, made his grades and flown to the States, then you definitely, positively and absolutely don’t want to read on. This is not for you and you would be heading to the wrong end of the rainbow to search for your Garden of Eden. Reality? give me a break! I don’t know that I am real for that matter so why don't you and I just ride along and look to where this is taking us, pretending we’re just having a great time shooting some bulls. Feel free to leave any time you want; thanks for stopping by and have a nice life masturbating until you go blind. 【首段何指？初讀時一頭霧水。作者本人解釋，他乃是在和一想像之物（人？鬼？）對話，沒有這段，他的故事講不下去。“想聽聽我所認識的一個國民黨權力掮客的故事嗎？我告訴你，要是沒種最好別聽下去 ... （You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! - Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Man)”。當它是傳統小說的楔子吧，意思其實是很古典的：“滿紙荒唐言，一把辛酸淚；都云作者癡，誰解其中味？“ 有人說書的方式就是這樣。 Power broker: 權力掮客，是本文的主角。但本文主角還有一位，就是“我”- 說故事的人。這點似乎與 All the King's Men 的結構相呼應，亦即敘事者表面上講的是權力掮客的故事，其實他們兩人的故事是二而一的。世界上沒有真正置身事外的敘事者，所以沒有一個人脫得了干係。你說，這不公平，我不是志願當兵的；我說，帶種一點，沒有人是志願出生的。你還呼吸所以這場遊戲有你的份。要緊的是，你怎麼打手上這張牌？】 I ran into him, Ken was the name, 22 years ago on one miserable January morning, on my way reporting to my assigned unit for the first time, marking the official opening of my tour of duty. It happened in city H where I spent six years attending college prior to being drafted into the military. I got there, on that fateful morning, one day earlier than I really needed to due to some minor glitches of the system - this is a good one so stay with me for a while before I switch back to our main character, Ken the power broker. I know some of you boys and girls out there think I bad-mouthed the Taiwanese military too much and too often in the past, here is a little secret I never told anyone about before but I will let you in on it for this one time: I was just as astonished then as you are now when years ago they burst my bubbles of ‘our brave military institute’ mythology (Yin-Yuen-Gou-Jeuen, the hell with this figuring out how to Romanize all these Chinese phrases, I am done with that damn language for good). 【Yin-Yuen-Gou-Jeuen：英勇國軍 burst my bubbles of 'our brave military institute' mythology：德州大哥也崇拜過英勇國軍，此文細表這個神話破滅的過程。 故事發生在22年前的一個早晨，剛受完海軍預官訓練然後抽簽分發到空軍服役的德州大哥，到H市某軍事基地報到。因為“系統”出了點差錯，他早到了一天，所以才會在那個命定的早晨與權力掮客 Ken 相遇。 系統出了什麼差錯？先從預官結訓抽簽分發那天說起。】 How much a FUBAR scenario are we talking about here? It all started toward the end of my basic training in Navy two weeks prior to the morning I ran into the hero of my story. Right before being commissioned, each of the ROTCs had to go through a lottery pick to let lady luck decide at which God-forsaken place he would be wasting the next 22 months of his life. Everyone would be drawing his own fate out of a bucket full of tiny pieces of papers rolled into tight knots. You closed your eye, picked one out, unrolled it, read its content out loud to the rest of the participants. You then handed it to a brigade officer serving as a public notary who also repeated it out loudly as a double confirmation before he had the bookkeeper write down your name and your assigned unit in a big logbook, sealed by your own signature. The only other place I can think of that makes you go through this routine is Hell, maybe. It was a system designed for one ultimate purpose – fairness and I have to give credit to the person who came up with an idea this brilliant; it was clean and smooth. However, were I you, I would take that praise as a rare piece of compliment from me to your beloved military machine because from here on to where you will be heading there won't be too many of those traveling your way; if any at all. 【FUBAR：F***ed Up Beyond All Recognition. 此典出於世界戰場，原應指傷亡的士兵被彈火毀得面目全非，後來廣為應用，指人或事被搞得一團漿糊全無頭緒。 ROTC：預備軍官訓練團，臺灣模仿美國制度而設。 為什麼故事要從抽簽談起？想像這是一場歌劇，上有舞臺，下有樂團。樂團的指揮不是別人，乃是以萬物為芻狗的命運之神。舞臺上的角色都站錯了地方，講錯了臺詞，唱歪了腔調，這讓命運之神更興奮了，他瘋狂揮舞著指揮棒，催趕這齣錯亂的戲碼加速進行。FUBAR 的系統是 FUBAR 的人構成的，然而 FUBAR 的人實遭命運捉弄身不由己。德州大哥熟讀希臘神話史詩，所以我認為他以“抽簽”這符號標示了小說的神話結構。】 Among all the units available I drew out the one true bummer, some radar station in a remote mountain supposedly near H-city. Now if I could have spent six years living there without even hearing about of this place, you could probably conclude for yourself how really ‘close’ it is to that city. I am not ashamed to tell you now (I was, up to a few years ago) about how miserable and upset I was after my fate was sealed, ‘Give me a break! One out of how many?’ was one lousy thought that was constantly plaguing my mind for my last three days in the Navy, right before they granted us a brief shore leave prior to reporting to our new jobs. Most people who went through the boot camp with me stayed with the Navy from what they had drawn (damn, I am still mad about it) so they knew the exact locations to which they would be reporting after returning from their breaks. I on the other hand, was left an orphan by the Navy due to a special circumstance; no one could figure out both what the devil and where in the hell my unit was. The one final piece of great advice I got from the Navy was, “Take a train to Taipei and ask them Air Force boys, you should be able to find out where their HQ is without too much troubles. Good luck and always remember that Navy loves you.” (“Yeah, great, thank you and fuck you very much too”, I silently replied while wishing them all end up swimming in sharks fest water.) 【我和大哥在南部海軍基地同梯受訓、同梯分發，抽簽那天我當然在場。大哥手氣不好，抽到H市“附近”一個偏遠山區的空軍雷達站，頓時發出天地悠悠之嘆。我也抽到雷達站，說起來是命運共同體，但我的雷達站離文明不遠。當時我安慰了他幾句，但暗懷僥倖，思之慚愧。 怎麼會從海軍分發到空軍呢？其實我們那一梯次電子官，原不隸屬任何軍種，因在海軍受訓，穿上海軍制服，就隱隱以為是海軍的人了（噁！）。海軍的白色制服根據國際標準制定，筆挺帥氣；後來換下鮮亮的白衣，換上寒酸起毛球的空軍“地勤”制服，心中頗為失落。海軍見我們成了空軍的人，就潛龍在田樂不管事；空軍接頭的人卻飛龍在天翱翔九霄去了。或許這是空軍的特勤訓練計劃：分發後的第一個任務，是設法找到所屬的單位。找不到的，以逃兵論處；找到的，算你自投羅網！ 總之，海軍愛你，但不能收你；空軍定了你，卻又躲著你 - 這是大哥當時的尷尬處境，於是他開始了一小段苦兒流浪記。來，打竹板，道從頭，海軍空軍互踢球；小小預官無人親，搭車北上覓根由；海軍命我尋飛將，飛將坐在樓中樓；樓中高梁淹日月，三杯下肚不知愁 ... 】 In case you are still searching for an answer to how, during a highly publicized drill held a few years back, our Navy boys could have fired two guided torpedoes at their previously arranged targets sitting dead in the water and still missed them by miles, or why their fish-and-chip class submarine never managed to submerge (actually it did once, taking a major risk of never coming back up again), or why sending them boys to go after the Somalia pirates is not really too bright an idea, I might just have the answer laid out for you: they suck, period. 【號稱可以執行海陸空三軍立體聯合作戰，裝備精良、鬥志昂揚的國軍，怎麼會連兵員分發報到這種小事都搞不好呢？Well, 你知道演習的時候，飛彈或魚雷射擊的”活靶“是有玄機的。但有時烏龍天兵連特殊安排的“活靶”也打不到，彈道與靶標相去以道里計。見微知著，軍中大小事環節相扣，小事輕忽，大事砸鍋。把兵事當兒戲，非一朝一夕之弊了。 fish-and-chip: 薯片魚片，英國人的粗糙飲食，乏善可陳。fish-and-chip class submarine, 指劣級潛艇，就怕只能下潛一次。 】 Not knowing what else I could have done, I dragged my sorry ass to Taipei overnight by jumping on the first express train I could manage to obtain a ticket for, in hope of having my order sorted out by the Air Force before my shore leave ran out. After spending many useless hours explaining my situation to layers and layers of bureaucrats in different languages (I do speak both Mandarin and Taiwanese, fluently if you are dying to know), I finally got to this colonel with a red round face who except being a bit incoherent (you’ll see why in a minute) every time he tried reciting back whatever I just told him to me self-amusingly, was quite a jolly fellow. After heading to nowhere for another hour or so, he suggested that since the paper issued by Navy didn’t really specify any precise date before which I needed to report in for duty, it wouldn't be such a bad idea if I took the chance and helped myself with a few extra, says 10, days off before he could sort out the mess with the Navy. ... 【Shore leave: 水兵上岸休假。名義上大哥屬於空軍，但他的結訓假是海軍放的。從小處可見作者修詞之用心。 本文從這段開始工筆描繪軍隊官僚 FUBAR 的慘狀，精彩之至。世上有些事荒謬到了極處，不可置信。我覺得本篇帶有魔幻寫實風味，並非作者刻意為之，而是由實生幻、由幻悟真的自然發展。】 ... He then told me, in a very secretive voice compounded with a suspiciously over-zealous sincerity at a very close distance–so close that I could smell a strong trace of Gao-Lian liquor, a famous brand of local moonshine, from his breath, that this was my lucky day indeed because at my disposal was the right man with just the right amount of authority to grand me that 10 extra days. Well, even with all the suspicions I had about this guy's having had more than a few stiff ones since the morning, the deal he cut me was as sweet as the three-clicks-of-your-heels-and -you-are-back-in-Kansas type of wish to anyone in my shoes could have hoped for so I went for it. He happily pulled out a gigantic officially looking seal from somewhere, wrote something on my paper to the effect of what he had just said, stamped all over what he wrote a few times – not that he needed to but because he missed his aims badly for several times before we shook hands and parted. “What the fuck, it’s Christmas and why should I care?” I thought to myself and went home feeling jolly good with my newly acquired get-out-of-jail-free card secured in my pocket. 【Gao-Lian：高梁酒 大哥從空軍總部酒糟中校手中又多撈了10天假。你說奇怪為什麼他儘是碰到這類奇葩？這就要回到我一開頭所說的，德州大哥其實並非全然無辜。我記得半年後下山參贊演習機要，在臺北空軍總部碰到大哥。此人手持一本英詩念念有詞，毫無革命軍人威儀。The force was definitely working against him! 無怪乎他一再陷入夢魘。】 My 10 days of extended leaves flew by as a dream that I didn’t want to wake up from. On the eighth day I returned to Air Force HQ to look for some answer. Well, my Wizard of Oz wasn’t there this time; actually no one seemed to remember or even know where and who he was so I had to go through my entire story again, this time with a much less sympathetic captain. Mean as he was, he had not an ounce more clue (surprise?) than did the rest of the walking-dead I had encountered thus far. To cover up his version of incompetence, he interrogated out of me, in a most intimidating manner, of whether I had ever been to city H or not. When I said yes he followed my answer up immediately by asking me was I also aware of an air force base there. I told him that although I had never physically been to that airport (who the hell would want to anyway), I had a ballpark idea of its whereabouts. He looked relieved upon hearing my answers. Putting on a stern face immediately (wow!) and a matching voice, he ordered me to get to city H on the double. And once I got there, he was very firm about it, I should immediately report myself to an MP post at the train station and called the base from there using their secured line. They (the base) would provide me detail instructions on how to proceed from there. “And don’t you play cute with me, I know your kind of college slime balls and will eat you for breakfast if you screw this one up!” was the parting words he gave me – somehow, I wasn’t feeling the love. 【八天後德州大哥回到總部，這回酒糟上校不見了，與八天的假期一般春夢了無痕，換了一個不好惹的上尉，大哥被迫話天寶當年，事說從頭。但上尉兇歸兇，一樣沒有頭緒，為了掩飾其無能，他下了一道急急如律令命大哥立即趕赴H市空軍基地報到。大哥惴惴然銜命而去。】 Two hours later I returned to the college town from where I started out defending my country 3 months ago – only this time with my hair crew-cut. I stepped out of the train with a large green military issued canvas sack over my back, heading straight to the corner of the grand central waiting room where a little desk was placed close to the entrance with two MP posting behind it. One sure thing about military life is nothing ever goes as planned: these two boys, like the rest of the humanity, also got confused as hell about what I wanted and refused to cooperate. I got frustrated and pulled ranks on them (I was commissioned then) and that got them scared. They called their HQ in Taipei to ask for someone to authorize me to use their phone. While waiting for the answer, I started feeling bad for being such a dick, pulling ranks on them and stuffs; after all, these two poor bastards were just like me, one lousy stiff doing some shit job for his even shittier country (someone go tell JFK that I have done my part, so he could get his prick blown by some blonds). We buried the hatches there and they took turns accompanying me sitting inside their little office right next to the public restroom - no kidding, these two boys literally got the shit end of the deal, smoking a few cigarettes together. When someone finally OK them to let me use their phone, thirty some minutes later, we were on pretty good terms already – people who are vested with none-so-ever or minimum amount of power always find me a really great guy to hang out with; guess I must have had the word ‘LOOSER’ tattooed on my forehead. 【大哥到了H市，依上尉的指示在火車站找到兩名憲兵；經過一番折衝恫嚇，終於打通了到空軍基地的專線電話。】 It was another 30 minutes before the operator from the air force base figured out what was my intention, or so he pretended but I finally got through to some unit and this guy over the line told me that they’d been expecting me for some times. Well, that’s quite a relief as I had started developing all sorts of crazy philosophical ideas about whether it was me or this lousy universe that didn't really exist. I asked him if he could send in a jeep or something to pick me up. Upon hearing my request he laughed and told me to haul my own lazy fat ass over by getting a cab, and called this number again once I reached the front gate. So parting with my newly made MP friends (one of whom I ran into later in life), I hawked down a cab, gave the driver my destination without any ideal of how to get there, and sit tightly for the next half an hour before the cab dropped me off in front of a formidably looking gate guarded by barbwires and dragons-teeth. I approach the post, showed my paper to the guards and asked for the permission to use their phone. A different person answered my call this time and he told me to stay put for a few more minutes before he could dispatch his orderly to pick me up. 【專線電話那端傳來某單位期待的聲音：我們已經等你很久了。這於大哥簡直不啻綸音妙諦；終於有人收留了，那時他已然開始懷疑是他自己還是整個宇宙壓根就不存在 ... 他叫了一輛計程車直奔H市空軍基地，來到一個猙獰的大門前停下，等人接他進去。】 --- 欲知後事如何，請聽下回分解 --- |
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