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求職會被問的一百道「模擬」考題(二)
2009/09/28 09:30:09瀏覽903|回應0|推薦4
  • What would be your ideal working situation? 你理想的工作環境是什麼?老闆每天拜託你多領一些薪水,別太辛苦的辦公環境!
  • Why should we hire you? 我們為什麼要雇用你?因為我很會講笑話。
  • What did you like least about your last job? 上一份工作最不讓你滿意的是什麼事情?薪水太少!
  • What do you think of your previous boss? 你對前任老闆的觀感如何?就讓牠過去吧!
  • How do you think I rate as an interviewer? 你怎麼評量我這個面試官?那要看你最後的「決定」是什麼?
  • Do you have any questions for me? 你有什麼問題要問我的嗎?你內褲size?(男)你罩杯大小?(女)
  • When were you most satisfied in your job? 你在工作時,什麼時候最滿足?下班打卡的時候。
  • What can you do for us that other candidates can't? 你跟其他應徵者比較下,什麼是你能做的,而其他人不能做的?不知道耶!你能拿裕隆跟賓士比嗎?
  • What are three positive things your last boss would say about you? 你老闆可能給你的三項正面肯定?好吃、懶做、不要臉
  • What negative thing would your last boss say about you? 你老闆可能會對你有所批評的地方?他敢?
  • If you were an animal, which one would you want to be? 你希望變成哪種動物?做人好好的,沒事幹嘛去找麻煩變個「動物」?
  • What salary are you seeking? 你期望的薪水是多少?你拿多少?我比照你就好!
  • What's your salary history? 你過去拿多少薪水?不多,一年一個億啦!
  • How do you want to improve yourself in the next year? 你明年計畫要怎麼改善自己?抽脂、拉皮、割雙眼皮………還有陰莖增常!
  • What were the responsibilities of your last position? 你上一個位子的職掌是什麼?負責聊天、打屁、抓小雞!
  • What do you know about this industry? 你對本產業的瞭解有多少?這家公司明年還不會倒吧?!
  • What do you know about our company? 你對本公司瞭解多少?這家公司明年還不會倒吧?!
  • How long will it take for you to make a significant contribution? 你要多久的時間才能對公司做出貢獻?我從踏進公司的第一天起,就對公司的整體正面形象有了偉大的貢獻!
  • Are you willing to relocate? 你願意為了工作而搬遷嗎?我是在應徵搬家公司的捆工嗎?
  • What was the last project you headed up, and what was its outcome? 你上次領軍的計畫是什麼?結果如何?報告:上次負責的是極機密的「飛龍專案」,完滿成功地達成任務,所有組員皆已被滅口!
  • What kind of goals would you have in mind if you got this job? 你如果得到此份工作,心裡是否有設定什麼特定目標?有啊!看能不能在半年內把你「幹掉」?!
  • Give me an example of a time that you felt you went above and beyond the call of duty at work. 請舉例說明:你曾經為工作投入到超出工作需要的犧牲?我隨時願意為了工作,犧牲色相,而且男女不拘!!
  • What would you do if you won the lottery? 你贏了樂透後要幹嘛?去7買個國民便當,然後繼續上班(要不然你以為「兩百元」獎金可以幹嘛咧?)
  • Can you describe a time when your work was criticized? 描述一下你的工作被批評的時候?上次我的文章得到諾貝爾文學獎,據說有個評審是不太滿意的!
  • Have you ever been on a team where someone was not pulling their own weight? How did you handle it? 工作團隊中有人不能勝任自己的職責時,你該怎麼辦?砍了他當成豬肉賣!
  • What is your personal mission statement?你個人的工作座右銘是什麼?「別人的失敗就是我的快樂,哈哈!」
  • Tell me about a time when you had to give someone difficult feedback. How did you handle it? 說一個當你必須給予某人「很困難的回覆」時,你如何傳達訊息的例子?當老闆放屁還有聲音時,要猛吸兩口,還問:老闆,你平常是吃哪種是「飼料」啊?!
  • What is your greatest failure, and what did you learn from it? 你最大的失敗是什麼?你從該失敗中學到了什麼?當年沒有買下微軟公司是最大的失敗,從此失敗中學到:微軟的東西最好不要買!
  • What irritates you about other people, and how do you deal with it? 別人最讓你受不了的是什麼?你怎麼應付?狐臭…,應付之道:三個月不洗澡,比他更臭!
  • What is your greatest fear? 你最怕的是什麼?沒飯吃。
  • Who has impacted you most in your career, and how? 在工作上什麼給你的衝擊最大?如何衝擊你?發現同事大都是白痴…如何衝擊?這個問題問的好!既然周遭是一堆白痴包圍,白痴當然是直接撞擊你囉!
  • What do you see yourself doing within the first 30 days of this job? 你預計在新工作的前卅天內將會做那些工作?看電子報、打線上電動
  • What's the most important thing you've learned in school? 在學校中學到最重要的是什麼?把妹要從一年級開始,老灰仔殘害民族幼苗,成功的機會大些!
  • What three character traits would your friends use to describe you? 你朋友用來形容你的三項「特質」?好吃、懶做、色瞇瞇!耶!
  • What will you miss about your present/last job? 你最懷念你眼前/上一份工作的是什麼?錢多、事少、離家進;睡覺睡到自然醒!
  • If you were interviewing someone for this position, what traits would you look for? 如果你負面試目前這個職位的應徵者,你要找的「特質」會是什麼?找一個跟我「同名同姓」,還「同年同月同日生」的人!
  • List five words that describe your character. 用五個字來形容你的個性?定靜安慮得!
  • What is your greatest achievement outside of work? 你在工作外的最大成就是什麼?當選十大通緝要犯第一名!
  • Sell me this pencil. 把這枝筆賣給我!喂!你是沒看過壞人嗎?
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