| What would be your ideal working situation? 你理想的工作環境是什麼？老闆每天拜託你多領一些薪水，別太辛苦的辦公環境！Why should we hire you? 我們為什麼要雇用你？因為我很會講笑話。What did you like least about your last job? 上一份工作最不讓你滿意的是什麼事情？薪水太少！What do you think of your previous boss? 你對前任老闆的觀感如何？就讓牠過去吧！How do you think I rate as an interviewer? 你怎麼評量我這個面試官？那要看你最後的「決定」是什麼？Do you have any questions for me? 你有什麼問題要問我的嗎？你內褲size?（男）你罩杯大小？（女）When were you most satisfied in your job? 你在工作時，什麼時候最滿足？下班打卡的時候。What can you do for us that other candidates can't? 你跟其他應徵者比較下，什麼是你能做的，而其他人不能做的？不知道耶！你能拿裕隆跟賓士比嗎？What are three positive things your last boss would say about you? 你老闆可能給你的三項正面肯定？好吃、懶做、不要臉What negative thing would your last boss say about you? 你老闆可能會對你有所批評的地方？他敢？If you were an animal, which one would you want to be? 你希望變成哪種動物？做人好好的，沒事幹嘛去找麻煩變個「動物」？What salary are you seeking? 你期望的薪水是多少？你拿多少？我比照你就好！What's your salary history? 你過去拿多少薪水？不多，一年一個億啦！How do you want to improve yourself in the next year? 你明年計畫要怎麼改善自己？抽脂、拉皮、割雙眼皮………還有陰莖增常！What were the responsibilities of your last position? 你上一個位子的職掌是什麼？負責聊天、打屁、抓小雞！What do you know about this industry? 你對本產業的瞭解有多少？這家公司明年還不會倒吧？！What do you know about our company? 你對本公司瞭解多少？這家公司明年還不會倒吧？！How long will it take for you to make a significant contribution? 你要多久的時間才能對公司做出貢獻？我從踏進公司的第一天起，就對公司的整體正面形象有了偉大的貢獻！Are you willing to relocate? 你願意為了工作而搬遷嗎？我是在應徵搬家公司的捆工嗎？What was the last project you headed up, and what was its outcome? 你上次領軍的計畫是什麼？結果如何？報告：上次負責的是極機密的「飛龍專案」，完滿成功地達成任務，所有組員皆已被滅口！What kind of goals would you have in mind if you got this job? 你如果得到此份工作，心裡是否有設定什麼特定目標？有啊！看能不能在半年內把你「幹掉」？！Give me an example of a time that you felt you went above and beyond the call of duty at work. 請舉例說明：你曾經為工作投入到超出工作需要的犧牲？我隨時願意為了工作，犧牲色相，而且男女不拘！！What would you do if you won the lottery? 你贏了樂透後要幹嘛？去7買個國民便當，然後繼續上班（要不然你以為「兩百元」獎金可以幹嘛咧？）Can you describe a time when your work was criticized? 描述一下你的工作被批評的時候？上次我的文章得到諾貝爾文學獎，據說有個評審是不太滿意的！Have you ever been on a team where someone was not pulling their own weight? How did you handle it? 工作團隊中有人不能勝任自己的職責時，你該怎麼辦？砍了他當成豬肉賣！What is your personal mission statement?你個人的工作座右銘是什麼？「別人的失敗就是我的快樂，哈哈！」 Tell me about a time when you had to give someone difficult feedback. How did you handle it? 說一個當你必須給予某人「很困難的回覆」時，你如何傳達訊息的例子？當老闆放屁還有聲音時，要猛吸兩口，還問：老闆，你平常是吃哪種是「飼料」啊？！What is your greatest failure, and what did you learn from it? 你最大的失敗是什麼？你從該失敗中學到了什麼？當年沒有買下微軟公司是最大的失敗，從此失敗中學到：微軟的東西最好不要買！What irritates you about other people, and how do you deal with it? 別人最讓你受不了的是什麼？你怎麼應付？狐臭…，應付之道：三個月不洗澡，比他更臭！What is your greatest fear? 你最怕的是什麼？沒飯吃。Who has impacted you most in your career, and how? 在工作上什麼給你的衝擊最大？如何衝擊你？發現同事大都是白痴…如何衝擊？這個問題問的好！既然周遭是一堆白痴包圍，白痴當然是直接撞擊你囉！What do you see yourself doing within the first 30 days of this job? 你預計在新工作的前卅天內將會做那些工作？看電子報、打線上電動What's the most important thing you've learned in school? 在學校中學到最重要的是什麼？把妹要從一年級開始，老灰仔殘害民族幼苗，成功的機會大些！What three character traits would your friends use to describe you? 你朋友用來形容你的三項「特質」？好吃、懶做、色瞇瞇！耶！What will you miss about your present/last job? 你最懷念你眼前/上一份工作的是什麼？錢多、事少、離家進；睡覺睡到自然醒！If you were interviewing someone for this position, what traits would you look for? 如果你負面試目前這個職位的應徵者，你要找的「特質」會是什麼？找一個跟我「同名同姓」，還「同年同月同日生」的人！List five words that describe your character. 用五個字來形容你的個性？定靜安慮得！What is your greatest achievement outside of work? 你在工作外的最大成就是什麼？當選十大通緝要犯第一名！Sell me this pencil. 把這枝筆賣給我！喂！你是沒看過壞人嗎？
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