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Excerpt:《給米蓮娜的信:卡夫卡愛情書簡》
2021/02/09 05:10:27瀏覽335|回應0|推薦11
Excerpt:《給米蓮娜的信:卡夫卡愛情書簡

不確定更早之前讀過卡夫卡的哪些書,或許是《變形記》?或許是《審判》?
然而記錄著自己購入的第一本卡夫卡卻是這本《給米蓮娜的信》。

給米蓮娜 (Milena Jesenska, 1896-1944) 的信充滿著卡夫卡對於愛情的徬徨、懷疑與恐懼,或許每一次戀愛對於卡夫卡來說都像是初戀吧!


https://www.books.com.tw/products/0010395576
書名:給米蓮娜的信:卡夫卡愛情書簡
作者:法蘭茲.卡夫卡 (Franz Kafka)
譯者:彤雅立、黃鈺娟
出版社:書林出版有限公司
出版日期:200802


Excerpt
梅蘭,一九二531
星期一

談談昨天答應給的解釋吧——
我不想 (米蓮娜,幫幫我!當我說話時,希望您理解我更深一些!),我不要 (這並不是口吃) 前往維也納,因為我無法忍受精神上的極度緊張。我的精神處於病態,肺病不過是精神疾病漫上了堤岸。……

So now for the explanation I promised yesterday:
I don’t want (Milena, help me! Understand more than I am saying) I don’t want (this isn’t stuttering) to come to Vienna, because I couldn’t stand the mental stress. I am spiritually ill, my lung disease is nothing but an overflowing of my spiritual disease.


梅蘭,一九二63
星期四

您看,米蓮娜。在幾乎一夜失眠之後的上午,我裸身躺在躺椅,一半在陽光下,一半在陰影裡;我怎麼能入睡呢?我總是不經意地沉溺在有您圍繞的睡眠裡,我真如同您在今天的信中所寫的那樣,對於墜落到我懷裡的事物輕易地受到驚嚇,那驚嚇有如聽見了先知所預言的話語……

You see, Milena, I’m lying on the deck chair in the morning, naked, half in the sun half in the shade, after an almost sleepless night; how could I have slept since I—who am too light for sleep—was constantly flying around you, and since I really was afraid (just as you wrote today) about “what had fallen into my lap,” afraid the way they describe the prophets…

梅蘭,一九二612
星期六再寫一次

米蓮娜,我們必須停止這樣交叉往復地寫信,這樣子寫信很棒,棒到我們都忘了自己在寫些什麼,忘了自己在回答些什麼,我們只是隨著令人震顫的事物在心裡不停地震顫。妳的捷克文我相當明白,我可以聽見那裡面的笑聲.但是在妳的信裡,我卻也在文字與笑聲之中翻尋,最後我只聽見文字,以及我的本質——恐懼。
……

This crisscrossing of letters has got to stop, Milena, it’s driving us crazy, one doesn’t know what one has written, what has been answered, and in any case one is in constant trepidation. I understand your Czech very well, I also hear your laughter but I keep digging into your letters, burrowing between your words and your laughter—until I then hear one single word, one word which is, moreover, my very essence: fear.


梅蘭,一九二615
星期二

今天早晨我又夢見妳。我們並肩坐在一起,然後妳推開我,不是生氣的,而是友善地推開。我很難過,不是因為妳的拒絕,而是因為我自己。就像對待一個不會設話的女人一樣,我對妳的聲音竟然充耳不聞——那些話從妳嘴裡說出來,甚且是對我說的,或者我其實並沒有充耳不聞,卻無從回答妳的話,這感覺比夢中我走開時更加悲傷。

此刻我想起曾經在某處讀過的一段話:「我的愛人是一團火焰,越過整座地球牽引著。此刻她環抱我。並不是環抱的感覺牽引著她去做,而是在旁觀看的人讓她這麼做。」

妳的

(
現在我連名字都丟失了,它總是越來越短,現在它叫做——妳的)

Early this morning I had another dream about you. We were sitting next to each other and you were warding me off, not angrily but in a friendly way. I was very unhappy. Not because you were warding me off, but because I was treating you like some mute woman, ignoring the voice that was speaking out of you directly to me. Or perhaps I wasn’t ignoring it, but just unable to answer. I left more disconsolate than in the first dream.
At the same time something occurs to me I once read at somebody’s house, something like this: “My beloved is a fiery column passing over the earth. Now it is holding me enclosed. But it does not guide those who are enclosed, just those who see.”

Yours

(now I’m even losing my name—it was getting shorter and shorter all the time and is now: Yours)

[
英譯參考資料]
http://www.kkoworld.com/kitablar/frans_kafka_milenaya_mektublar-eng.pdf

( 知識學習隨堂筆記 )
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