米國法律笑料(三)- 最有力的回馬槍 - 金大俠的部落格

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米國法律笑料(三)- 最有力的回馬槍

2013/05/29 12:29:02瀏覽759｜回應5｜推薦28

米國法律笑料(三)- 最有力的回馬槍

Two of the Year’s Best Comeback Responses

“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯之1

在美國律師是高收入的職業，但不十分受人尊重，因而有很多律師的笑話。

假如你有機會在法庭上作證，但願你也有跟這位警官先生一樣的機智。這位警官在一件重罪案件中出庭接受被告律師的詢問。這位律師想貶低這位警官的誠信度。
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility.....
問：警官. . . 你親眼看見被告逃離現場？
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'

答：沒有。 但是案發後我看到一個疑似被告的人跑了好幾條街。
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

問：警官. . .是誰告訴你被告的長像？
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'

答：是那個接到報案到達現場的警官。
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

問：是和你一夥的警官向你描述了這位嫌疑犯的長像。你相信你的同僚嗎？
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'

答：我相信，我以人格保證。
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

問：以人格保證？那我問你一個問題。上班的時候你們有更衣室可以讓你們更換制服嗎？
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'

答：我們有的！
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

問：那你們有帶鎖的櫃子在更衣室嗎？
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'

答：我們有的！
A: 'Yes, sir, ... I do.'

問：那你們的櫃子上鎖嗎？
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

答：是的，上鎖！
A: 'Yes, sir.'

問：好, 這是為什麼, 警官，假如你能以人格保證你的同僚都是可以信賴的，為何在大家共用的更衣室裡櫃子還有必要上鎖？
Q: 'Now, ... why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'

答：你要知道，我們的辦公室是跟法院共用的，經常會有律師穿過那個更衣室的。
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

這時法庭上發出一陣笑聲，庭審立即暫停。這位出庭的警官被提名為年度的“最給力的反唇相譏”獎。我們認為會得獎。
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.

“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯之2

現在我們知道他為何是位將軍. . .
Now We Know Why He Was a General -----

在最近的一次訪問中，诺曼施瓦茨科普夫將軍（海灣戰爭中的美軍統帥）被問到他是否有可能原諒那些曾經庇護教唆對美國進行911攻擊的恐怖分子。

In a recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.
以其經典的施瓦茨科普方式回答，
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.
將軍說，”我相信原諒他們是上帝的事…而我們的工作是安排他們跟上帝見面”
The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function ... Our job is to arrange the meeting."

( 在地生活｜北美 )


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