Lucky to day, I still have a variety of friends; most of them are close friends.
I am needed by my friends sometimes when they are in loss, confuse, and negative.
I can be very passionate, hospitable, friendly, and available when I am needed.
I love others, but I love myself more, especially when I am alone with myself where is the empowering space to enable me to give others more concern, support, and affection.

I aspire to get rid of the addiction to feeling, everything, and every people.
I realize that any attachment is originally the desire to be validated

I am sick of the loneliness, sadness or even anxiety at any deprivation of validation.
They are all distraction that inhibits me to the way of peace, focus, simple, and joy.

It’s a demanding job to fight- defeat the desire of being desired and the need of being needed
Especially when I fall in love….
It become a disaster and I sometimes even play the victim as it was easy to get sympathy
Lucky to say, it’s better to play the crafty game of victim than to be totally lost in the need to be needed
Unlucky to say, I am unconsciously overcome by my desire of being desired when I am fall in love with others.

Gradually, I fear to fall in love with others…
I am aware of that I will lose my self-love easily when I fall in love with others
I hence need to be alone-addressing to my inner self.

Eventually I learned the only person to quench my thirst of neediness would be me. That meant re-evaluating my actions and taking time to take care for my needs.

But it’s a such long lesson to take that I can’t stop
Just like why I can’t stop falling in love
The lesson is going on and I have to take…