This September has been a BITCH to me.

I started my nutrisystem diet on 11th. Thought I'd give it a try. Since, first of all I do not cook, and the already-cooked package of 3 meals delivered every month to my doorway is a GREAT news. Second of all, it REALLY does cost 3 dollars per meal. Gee its even cheaper than going to the hospital cafeteria every day. Or doing grocery every week.

And I did shed 5lbs in 2 weeks so far. Also did lose one of blood pressure meds I was on. But I MISS my carbohydrates. I MISS sodium in my food. I MISS big portion whenever I like it. I MISS putting lots of salad dressing on my food. I have felt like I look at food in a very different way. Whats the portion? How much calorie? How much carb? How about fat?

BULLSHIT.

And what pissed me off was that my triglyceride level is still HIGH. HOW CAN IT BE HIGH when I work SO HARD at work? I need to record  how much I walk at work to prove to my doctor that I do NOT need to walk on treadmill after work. "Oh but you need to do more exercise to get it down..."

BULLSHIT.

But honesly I am tired of being a fat nurse. Deep down I know I am ashamed of what I am doing is not what I am preaching. But NO ONE is perfect, right? A nurse of size 22W simply DISGUSTS me. And I have seen A LOT OF nurses of this hippo-mongous size walking down the hallway in this hospital ALL THE TIME. Have you seen a doctor or a nurse smoking on the non-hospital property...lets say, like 20 feet away from the hospital in the street? I have. It was NOT pretty at all.

But carb-deprived nurse can be a cranky BITCH too. I know.

SIGH.