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十二月的論文
2010/01/05 15:12:08瀏覽923|回應6|推薦25
十二月的北橋很涼很酷,有圖為證。溫度在冰點上下,積雪未融,河冰鬆動,林相清標,眾生蟄伏。

十二月的北橋其實不涼也不酷,有心為證。十二月的北橋忙壞了,好在是忙得有盼望。有一部份的忙,為了替過去四年的義務工作畫上句點,交給接棒的人。有一部份的忙,為了破繭而出、希冀開創新機。還有一大部份的忙,是為了幫寶貝兒子申請大學。


美國高中生申請大學比我當年在臺灣一試定終身要複雜辛苦多了。一個朋友說,當初留在美國是想讓孩子求學的過程輕鬆點,誰知打錯算盤。美國大學的招生標準如下:

1)在校成績好,高中四年平均成績最好在 90-100 分之間,而且要愈來愈好,顯示課程愈進階,你愈得心應手。

2) 光分數高不成,修的課難度也要高,不能盡修大補丸、盡挑軟柿子吃。難的課程有兩種,第一種叫Honor class(前段班)。初中畢業那年開始,學校就會建議學生適合上那種程度的班;家長若不同意,可以推翻學校的建議。學校通常會接受家長的意見,讓孩子試試看;但學校的建議通常很準,大多數硬上前段班的學生後來都吃不消,又退選回到中段班。這套系統環環相扣,若是8年級沒上某一科的前段班,接下來4年幾乎就和相關的前段班課程絕緣了。第二種高難度課程叫做 AP - advanced placement, 讓更優秀的高中生選修相當於大學程度的課程(不過目前的 AP 課程略顯浮濫)。

3)出色的課外活動或研究成績。說“我每天打球三小時”是不夠的,最好能入選奧運代表隊。說參加科學社團顯得太平凡,要得個大獎才夠炫。唉,你想得到的別人老早就想到了,此時非出奇難以制勝。

4)展現服務的熱忱。一般高中生社區服務(community service)的時間約可攢到400小時上下,特別民胞物與的學生可累積至800小時。(社區服務和課外活動是兩碼事,要分開計算)。

5)非凡的領袖氣質,比如為弱勢團體募款3百萬美元,或身兼學生會、校刊社、管弦樂團、足球隊等主要社團的負責人,或組織冬泳隊橫越英倫海峽以鼓吹世界和平,或攀登喜馬拉雅山並英勇救難(但不能捨己為人,總還得留條命申請大學吧)。

6)暑期工作經驗,最好替 Apple 或 Google 設計過軟體,或在麻州總醫院(Mass General Hospital)替人開過心臟手術。

7)正確的出身。父母或兄姐是長春藤校友,沒話說,屬紅五類。從小就上昂貴的私立住宿學校,也屬紅五類。長於貧民區的黑人女孩是紅五類,略諳微積分就大有可能上 MIT.  亞裔男孩則名列頭號黑五類,數學好功課好不足為奇。但數學好的白人卻屬紅五類,因是稀有動物應受保護。家庭幸福的小孩屬黑五類,蓋缺乏人生歷練,名校不喜。倘若家庭有特殊情況,便大大加分。總之這和政府收稅的做法差不多,極富或極貧都少繳稅,中產階級則受盡壓榨。同理,上層或下層社會的小孩易受青睞,貴族或畸形家庭出身的小孩容易突出,不富不貴正常家庭出身的小孩則活該被歧視。

8)學測成績 (SAT)優秀,以滿分減10分最佳(尤其亞裔,不宜拿滿分,否則大學會更加歧視你)

9)別出心裁的論文(essay),用 500字寫出你的特質,你的成就,你的熱情,你的抱負。

申請2010年秋季入學,須於2009年底之前將表格寄出。到了9月初,前八項基本上塵埃落定,到那時還沒爬過喜馬拉雅山,也來不及了。其他有的沒的,如理科文科老師各一封推薦信、學校輔導老師的評估表,早已制式化;何況公立高中的推薦信大學根本懶得多看。於是唯一可爭雄長的,只剩下論文這一項。

你寫過短篇小說嗎?我告訴你,這篇論文比短篇小說難多了。論文寫作要訣:

1) 須有層次,不可平鋪直敘。“我喜歡打網球,我這人就像個優秀的網球選手,靈活敏捷,抽削砍劈無所不能”。丁等! 你知道大學甄選人員要讀多少篇學生論文嗎?誰記得味同嚼蠟一根腸子到底的文章。但也別太彎彎曲曲,讓人一頭霧水,不知所云。第一遍讀不懂,人家就扔下你的,看下一篇。

2)題材須新穎,不可陳腐。“今年暑假我回臺灣尋根去了”- 你比得過回非洲尋根的人嗎? 聽說有喜歡做菜的男生講自己創作菜色的經驗,就討好可喜。

3)題材須正常,不可怪異。“我的人生像螞蟻” - 讓人覺得你需要看心理醫生,那就完了。寶貝兒子本來想寫篇哈姆雷特讀後感,分析黑暗題材,被我制止了。

4)別寫得忘我。不管寫什麼,一定要寫出自己。最高段的寫法,是欲擒故縱法,表面上不明寫自己,讓讀者自己下結論,其實結論你已經替他安排好了,他不覺得罷了。

我說得頭頭是道,但知易行難。論文至少得準備兩篇,適用於大多數的學校;但總有幾間學校會指定特殊題材,這就又增加負擔。總之,兒子搜索枯腸,多番增刪;我與妻也反復閱讀,看論述是否近情入理、起承轉合是否流暢自然、遣詞用句是否簡潔精要。他有時不服氣,指責我們英文不好,曲解了他的意思。其過程之辛苦,實不足為外人道也。何況兒子還要顧及12年級的功課(12年級的成績最終仍要寄給大學,故而不可掉以輕心),並非有暇全心寫作,但終究寫出了像樣的論文,其文采與毅力讓我這做父親的欽佩不已。

我說兒子的論文頗像樣,當然有我的偏心;但他數易其稿,最後的定稿文字中流露著溫柔和熱情,是去蕪存菁後的核心理念,有一股自然感人的力量。“當然,這是我真正相信的東西”,他說。

此外,教會有位熱心的輔導老師,是個哈佛畢業的青年人,主動評閱一群12年級孩子的論文,督促他們修改。兒子信任他的程度勝過信任我們做父母的。他說好,兒子就放心了,我們也放心了。放心的意思是:兒子已經傾力而為,可以沒有遺憾,至於結果如何,就安心交託吧。

12月便如此過去。1月1日,申請截止日,兒子將最後三家學校申請表格寄出,我也鬆了口氣。2010年便如此開始了。


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引用網址:https://classic-blog.udn.com/article/trackback.jsp?uid=northbridge&aid=3656134

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井 娃
等級:7
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寫得真好
2010/01/09 01:45

真是天下父母心啊!

申請大學非文武全才不可,比古代的狀元難上千萬倍。

分析得非常詳盡而且幽默,尤其是第七項,有關出身的家庭背景,寫得太有趣了!

亞裔數學好是應該的,白人數學好是屬稀有的保護動物!

真是“心有戚戚焉”!



behappy
等級:8
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來加拿大吧
2010/01/06 12:43
加拿大的大學申請絕對沒這麼麻煩.只要成績夠就可上,成績不夠才需要靠其他有的沒有的.
北橋客(northbridge) 於 2010-01-06 22:56 回覆:
所以說,算盤打錯了。

Me again
the next six...
2010/01/06 11:48

...............

(5)  Leadership – Am I a leader? The federal prosecutor, supported by an unanimous bench of the jury, obviously thought so, despite the fact that all I really did was to give advices to a league of extraordinary gentlemen.
(6)  Summer Jobs – At age seven I joined a marketing team pushed wonders of modern chemistry to the local residents, at an profits of $20 per ounce. I later moved on to transporting  and retailing semi-automatic gears for self-defense purposes – on a free (unregulated) market basis.
(7)  Genealogy – My aunt, who also happened to be my cousin and niece, had been interviewed by Jerry Springer.
(8)  SAT score – I knew a Russian due who was a professional hacker; problem solved.
(9)  A Frank, Insightful, and Fresh Essays – You are reading it now.
(10)  Global Vision – This is a bonus. After finishing my community service, I was in the Foreign Legion for a few years and am now highly sought after by several western African countries as a 'party of interest' regarding some petty war-crime charges.

北橋客(northbridge) 於 2010-01-06 22:52 回覆:
(5) What can better qualify leadership than what you have just described here? We have seen too many self-proclaimed leaders who did nothing but destroyed a league of extraordinary gentlemen. You on the other hand helped them fulfill their potential and stood up to take full responsibility. I salute you!
(6) You pioneered resource sharing and de-regulation. And you've taken personal risk to uphold the 2nd Amendment.
(7) This is perhaps the weakest spot in you whole application. Not that we question the nobility of your descent, but we failed to grasp the significance of it. But don't worry, we sympathize with your keeping it vague.
(8) Unbelievable! You helped a Russian hacker on SAT ... (we did debate on who helped whom for 3 days before we reached the conclusion)
(9) a post-modern literary style - most admirable
(10) If you are sought after by some barbarous warlords, you are our friends

Now it is my pleasure to welcome you to Harvard College. You will be placed in an accelerated program that makes you eligible for probation after ...

Me
I was close, really close
2010/01/06 11:42

I thought I was a born loser, then I read your inspiring article and realized that I had been a Harvard material all my life except I had wasted my talents and opportunity away.

(1)  GPA – During my seven years of senior high school – five alone for 12th grade, my GPA had been undergoing a continuous and measurable improvement  from F to C, and I had always stayed within the top 10% of my class –   all from a under-privilege school where you get a 'D' for just capitalizing the first letter of your last name.
(2)  AP courses – I took the AP Chinese and got a '5'; I am a  native Mandarin speaking Ch**k adopted on paper by a white-trash couple with the last name 'Chesterfield.'
(3)  Extra-Curriculum Activities – I had made out with the entire cheerleaders squad, some times more than one simultaneously, as their 'Mascot' – if you know what I mean. For all the activities I had to go 'extra' all the times.
(4)  Community Service – Yes, for eight hours a day, every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday of the last five years, I wore an orange jumpsuit and picked up trashes along Interstate-35 near Waco, Texas. The shot-gun bearing guy in charge of the operation told me what I did was considered a 'community service.'
...to be continued

北橋客(northbridge) 於 2010-01-06 22:31 回覆:
You are not kidding. This is indeed Harvard material.
1) Ambitious and persevering in under-privileged environment. Extraordinary discipline demonstrated by setting measurable goals
2) Outstanding achievement considering how you were threatened by mainstream culture
3) Colorful and unique life experience. A true womanizer that helps the other sex transcend the unenlightening, boring feminism
4) Ability to see beyond daily drills and endow it with fresh meanings. A true visionary and marketing genius that corporate America would die to recruit
... to be continued

DrComposting
等級:8
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找工作時也是
2010/01/06 08:27

非裔與拉丁裔的女性工程師很吃香。

我碰過的最大的「big-time minority」,印第安蘇族 Lakota 的第一位女 Ph.D.。

北橋客(northbridge) 於 2010-01-06 22:56 回覆:
她“全副衣裝”來 interview 嗎?

BB 咖啡。以淚封印
等級:8
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現代父母
2010/01/06 04:10
真好啊 什麼酸甜苦辣都得經歷 養孩子還得跟著一起成長 自己沒經歷過的跟著小孩再過 一次......兩次.....N次 來吧
還是給您頒個獎吧
北橋客(northbridge) 於 2010-01-06 22:55 回覆:
腦細胞本就不多了,這回又燒掉不少。