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| 2016/04/09 09:17:49瀏覽454｜回應1｜推薦8 | |
Retiredbum notes: Someone emailed me following jokes which are full of fun. So I try to translate them into English, just for fun.
老婆這麼兇？ 情人這麼好？ Your wife is so hard on you, while your mistress is so nice to you? 一位男士問禪師：「老婆對我專橫跋扈，情人卻對我萬般體貼，
A man asked a monk, "My demanding wife is so presumptous on me, and my pliant mistress is so considerate to me. So what shold I do about it?"
禪 師淡淡地說：「永遠不要相信在野黨，誰上台後，掌權都一樣。」 The monk replied calmly, "Never trust in an opposition party; the result will be the same when it comes to office and grabs the power."
真理四部曲： Four kinds of Truth
真理 1：我們為了活命吃東西；為了保命又不敢吃東西！ Truth One: We live by eating, but to go on living by not eating.
真理 2：繳手機通話費的時候，才發現自已的廢話那麼值錢！ Truth Two: Not until we pay our celleular phone bills, can we find out the trash we've talked are really worth something.
真理 3：世界上最遥遠的距離就是面對面坐著，
Truth Three: World's longest distance between two persons is when they are sitting face to face but playing each other's celleular phone.
真理 4：婚姻是愛情的墳墓；更氣人的是，小三還要來盗墓！
Truth Four: Marriage is the grave of love; so much for the worse, there is a gravedigger standing by.
一 對夫妻吵架
A married couple in quarrel
一對夫妻吵架，男的吵不赢女的；直接躺在床上，一動不動！
A husband lost a quarrel with his wife, so he laid down the bed, motionless.
女的就問：你躺床上幹嘛？
The woman asked, " why are you laying on bed for?"
男的回答：死了！
"I am dead.", the man answered.
女的又問：死了怎麼還睁着眼？
"Then why your eyes are still open?"
男： 死不瞑目！
"Because I really hate to die with my eyes closing!"
女的又問：那怎麼還呼吸？
The woman asked again, "Why are you still breathing?"
男的說：咽不下這口氣！
"Because I really hate to swallow your story!"
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