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| 2005/11/25 21:04:30瀏覽981｜回應3｜推薦7 | |
發表他們認為35 年會後將消失的想法、價值、制度。文出後果然引起美 國學界及讀者廣大回響。國家郵報在 11月 21 日的 ISSUES and IDEAS 版面上，刊出由 Jacques Attali 執筆的文章，預言著一夫一妻制度將會在 35 年崩潰：“ I love you -- and you and you and you...” 仲秋霧夜的山宅裡，四下悄然；燈下讀此文，一面看，一面笑，津津有味， 饒有意思。看新聞版總彷彿是進大觀園，四處蹓走雲過無影；讀文化或 ISSUES and IDEAS 版上的討論，卻彷彿是杯杯濃郁的咖啡，耐人尋味， 也讓人忍不釋手。看完該文後，回頭來再看了文章標題，不禁然更莞爾一笑， 懂了該標題，當用上升語調來唸出 and YOU and YOU and YOU... 說的是 我除了愛妳外，還有妳，還有另外一個妳，也更還有另外一個妳... 觀念或制度都是人為的、非自然性的，甚至是強迫性的制約。而通常這類制約 ，往往有其時間性、社會性。只是時間一久了，人們習慣了，於是隱然將之視 為理所當然，而不肯因應社會變動，而重新審視其正確性、合宜性。因此，人 生若總是持抱開放、寬闊態度，且不說觀念啟迪，機會掌握，更是應證了老莊 說法，天下之弱莫之為水，天下之強亦莫之為水。所以，人生瓶頸的解套，當 若水，可塑性宜高；因為，容器為方為圓，水即方即圓，而水仍然水。 人生當如是。 Jacques Attali 認為一夫一妻制度的淡出，多妻制並不會發生；而是男人在 同時間能擁有多個伴侶，女人也在同時間會擁有多個伴侶。男女對情感的表 示，情侶愛人之間關係，都會有基本上的改變。 更何況，拜醫學進步，當事人能決定是否生育了。 文中提到婚約觀念存在主要是經濟原因："保持一個有秩序的財產轉移；同時 防止其他男性的接近女性。" 只是，詳實的法律制度，已然能相當程度的保障 財產轉移，能依當事人意願；同時，普及的教育亦造成女權的興起，覺醒女人 的意識。因此，原有婚約觀念的社會作用，亦正逐日失去其功用了。 財產轉移的方式將會有基本的改變。自己揣度著：拜 DNA 血統測定技術的成 熟，轉移財產的主要方式之一，應當將是以信託方式行之了。 其實，一夫一妻制度也只是處理社會秩序的一種人為制約，既是人為的制約， 所以就可能改變；何況，社會正因科技極其快速的發達而正劇變蛻化中。 當女性在經濟獨立態勢上日益明顯際，生育數目正快速萎縮下降時，離婚率極 速升高，一夜情正如烽火燒起般，同居盛行時，一夫一妻制度的崩塌，似乎因 此也是可預見的。 當看到北美 single man bar 的滿街，報紙或網路上寂寞人的需求滿眼時， monogamy 的秩序是正潰散著。 在如此漫長的生命中，再加上壽命的延長，要固定的只愛一個人，就生物物 種觀念，實在是不切實際；更何況，當時男女互相吸引的特質---外在、內在 ---在經歷一段時日後，原本互相吸引的那些元素，亦可能已質變。變化後的 特質或已然無復成為相互吸引的原動力了。此際，僅存在夫妻之間的牽絆，只 存餘孩子關係了；如此以人為制約方式，來強迫雙方廝守亦是件殘忍事，特別 是當我們又看到家暴案件時。 尤其，當我們回顧中國傳統加諸女性身上的種種人為制約：道德、親情類的枷 鎖，尤其歷經殘酷日本控制，物資缺乏時期的台灣女性，因為經濟不能獨立 ，及為人母的天性，無能割捨親身孕育的小孩；那種無盡期、無可奈何困頓在 一夫一妻制度裡的女性。 婚姻圓滿的人，永遠不知困頓在一夫一妻制度裡，彼此怨懟男女的互残互傷。 一種刑期無期，無盡期的精神和肉體的折磨；一種沒有明天，沒有希望的將來 。一種，此生就一直如此繼續，哭著等候，靜靜的等候，等候著人生枯萎，人 生死亡的宿命。一種，活著需要極大勇氣的人生。 想起了Engelbert Humperdinck 唱的迴腸盪氣那首 Please Release Me， 開頭就說: Please release me and let me go, for I don’t love you anymore. To waste our lives would be a sin. Release me and let me love again. I had found a new lover dear. And, I will always want her near. “當她的嘴唇是溫暖的時候，妳的卻已冰冷了。” 整曲在優雅女聲唱出 Let me love again.的背景合聲中，殷殷的泣訴出人生的無奈；整首歌 在唱著 "讓我再愛一次" 中 ，扣人心弦的結束。 其實，無論是以 Jerry Wallace 的遊樂口吻，縱情方式來唱出 Please Release Me 或 Engelbert Humperdinck 的嚴肅態度來闡述男女紅塵情 愛，相同的一件事，當事人當時態度也都可能相異的。更進一步來說，男 女當時在各個條件相互配合時，的確可能是佳偶良配金童玉女；只是，時 過境遷後，各個條件亦已變化，當事人亦可能互持了不同價值觀，情愛生 變自是正常反應。外遇，其實是對一夫一妻制的反動。歸諸到最後，男女 情愛自變者觀之，萬事恆常不變；自不變者觀之，諸事又恆變之。談情說 愛時，若已預存恆常念；即已伏下悲泣引子了。懂得緣起緣滅，好聚能散 ，方是懂情知愛，看清楚了人生的一些必然性。 所以，35年後，男女仍將依然寂寞。 ====================================== I love you -- and you and you and you... Jacques Attali Foreign Policy Magazine Monday, November 21, 2005 To mark its 35th anniversary, the U.S. magazine Foreign Policy recently asked a group of leading thinkers to identify which ideas, values, and institutions will disappear in the next 35 years. This week and next, the Post will print eight of the most intriguing responses. In today's first instalment, Jacques Attali predicts the demise of monogamous relationships. --------------------------------------- Two hundred years ago, few people foresaw legalized divorce or open homosexuality -- let alone gay marriage. Abstract art and jazz were unimaginable. Aesthetics, morals, and family relationships, it seems, are the bane of the futurologist. We constantly speculate about the future balance of power, looming conflicts, and emerging technologies. Yet somehow, we imagine that morals and aesthetics are immutable. So we forget to ask how conceptions of good and evil, acceptable and unacceptable, beauty and ugliness will change. And they will. Monogamy, which is really no more than a useful social convention, will not survive. It has rarely been honored in practice; soon, it will vanish even as an ideal. I do not believe that society will return to polygamy. Instead, we will move toward a radically new conception of sentimental and love relationships. Nothing forbids a person from being in love with a few people at the same time. Society rejects this possibility today primarily for economic reasons -- to maintain an orderly transmission of property -- and because monogamy protects women against male excesses. But these rationales are dissolving in the face of powerful new trends. The insatiable demand for transparency, fuelled by democracy and the free market, is placing the private lives of public men and women under greater scrutiny. The reality of multiple lives and partners will become more apparent, and society's hypocrisy will be revealed. The continued rise of individual freedom will permanently change sexual mores, as it has most other realms. Likewise, jumps in life expectancy will make it nearly impossible to spend one's entire life with one person and to love only that one person. Meanwhile, technological advances will further weaken the links between sexuality, love and reproduction, which are very different concepts. Widely available birth control has already stripped away an important obstacle to having multiple partners. Just as most societies now accept successive love relationships, soon we will acknowledge the legality and acceptability of simultaneous love. For men and women, it will be possible to have partnerships with various people, who will, in turn, have various partners themselves. At long last, we will recognize that it is human to love different people at the same time. The demise of monogamy will not come without a struggle. All the churches will seek to forbid it, especially for women. For a while, they will hold the line. But individual freedom, once again, will triumph. The revolution will begin in Europe, America will follow, and the rest of the world will eventually come around. The implications will be enormous. Relationships with children will be radically different, financial arrangements will be disrupted, and how and where we live will change. To be sure, it will take decades for the change to be complete. And yet, if we look around, it is already here. Beneath our hypocrisies -- in movies, novels, and music -- the shape of our future is visible. Part one of an eight-part series.; Jacques Attali is president of PlaNet Finance, a nonprofit organization, and a contributing editor to Foreign Policy.; Tomorrow: Esther Dyson on the end of anonymity. |
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| ( 心情隨筆｜男女話題 ) |
