Rain, Earthquake, Hurricane, and Suicide! What a month! What a week!

The news of my junior high classmate who jumped off a building, finally reached me through the grape vine.  I recognized the name, but I didn’t remember her.  I still couldn’t picture her even after a few long phone calls with other classmates.

How strange is it?  I have no memory of a person who spent at least 8 hours a day and 6 days a week with me in a classroom for a few years of my youth, and I couldn’t picture her either!

We were such a vibrant bunch then.  The things we did, the laughter we had, how we (the whole class) stayed together as one to defy our class teacher, how we worked as one to win the school contests, the togetherness we had, is imprinted on my heart forever.   I am sure she had the same memories as I had.  Why she couldn’t laugh it off or couldn’t stand tall to face whatever the trouble was!   What suffering that was!

My thoughts are like the full force of the hurricane blasting outside.  I keep trying to think about her and trying to find a thread of memory of her to no avail.  How could this be?  Why couldn’t I remember her?

I am sorry to know that she choose to end her life!  I can only do one thing for her life and that is chanting……

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A few notes for number 21 

“Twenty –one” means adulthood in most of cultures.  Once past this chronological number, you are no longer care free.

I was thinking about what I should post to represent my own growth for the #21 article.  I could take down a few articles, as I did before, to avoid reaching #21.   But, no matter what I do or did, I would reach #21.   I couldn’t by pass it unless I ceased posting.   Even if I ceased posting, the sequential numbers could not be erased, somewhere, somehow, I am going to face #21.

The thought of the law of causality, cause and effect, came to my mind.   Once the cause is made there is no way to eradicate effect.    Humans always believe that they can alter or control the effect by making a different cause.   The outcomes were always not as one original planed, because no one would ever know where one is in the loops of cause and effect.     

A person, who had a karmic relationship with me, took her own life this triggered me to reexamine my past relationships.   Maybe I don’t remember her, but none the less, she is one of life accompaniers on my life journey.    I could only hope I did or will continue to make good causes in my life to create wonderful co-existing relationships for my karma.

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I love to write and have been writing for a long time for my own amusement.   Because I can’t write in Chinese, I write in the language that I have used for over three decades now.    And also, it is a way to improve my English.   I am extremely fortunate to have friends who constantly help me to improve my English, and have melted into this culture that I love and created a place for myself – my own self.

It is after I started posting in my blog that I realized I was recording my life in a subtle way.    I sincerely appreciate that you are reading my blog, whoever you are.   I am always extremely elated to hear from you, when you care to give me feedback, even just a few words.  

This is my Garden of Writing.  It is a place where I am constantly hoeing the weeds and nurturing the growth with sincerity and heartfelt friendship, without intrusive negativity.