The craving for a Chinese fish dish had taken over me today. I could visualize the dish, smell, and taste the fish in my mouth. I didn’t know what came over me that I was so hungry for this particular fish dish.

After work, I was willing to battle the traffic and drive to the only Chinese restaurant in the opposite way of home, which I knew I might be able to find that particular fish dish. It was not a short drive and the traffic was heavy. 

While on the way to the restaurant, I kept wondering what had happened to me. I am not an avid Chinese food eater at all. Why was it I could suddenly taste this fish dish in my mind and eagerly spend time on the road to get it?

When I walked into the restaurant, the old owner was there with his usual smiling face, and the woman at the front receptionist counter was with her poker face, what a contrast! The owner looked much older than I remembered. Wow! I hadn’t been in this restaurant for almost 9 months. The last time I was here was with two of my co-workers around Chinese New Year time. And I couldn’t remember when I was here before the last.

It was kind of a surprise that both of them had greeted me in English. I knew their main customers are English speaking, but I couldn’t remember them having greeted me in English before, even when I was with my son, who obviously couldn’t speak Chinese. What is happening?  Do I look like I don’t speak in Chinese? I don’t expect them to remember a rare customer like me, but an English greeting??  I was alone. I wasn’t with friends. 

It had provoked me to start speaking Chinese to the woman with the poker face about the fish dish I am dreaming about and that I have to have it. She looked at me unimpressively without letting me finish what I was trying to describe, and said to me “If you don’t want it fried then # xx.” “What did I do to you to have this kind of unfriendliness? “ But the yearning for the fish was too great for me to walk out.  I looked at the descriptions, and decided that #xx was the one, and I placed the order. It was not cheap.

It was the most uncomfortable 10 minutes wait I ever have. (She said it will take 10 minutes). I looked around the waiting area, I found they removed a few decorations and it actually looked better than before, so I tried to make small talk to pass the time, but she looked at me like I was speaking in an unrecognizable language that made me stopped in mid sentence.

I was upset and confused in some way. Have I totally lost my ability to communicate in Chinese? Why was she acting this way? Why the poker face? The rebelling in me never died.  I changed the tactic.  I started asking about what kind of fish they use to cook this dish and asked her to info the kitchen one more time about no MSG, and as little oil as possible for my dish, and asked her not to forget my brown rice…. Under the rule that the customer is always right, she had to answer every question that I asked her in Chinese. I was sure that she couldn’t wait to have the kitchen bring out my order.

The dish was not as I wanted or remembered, but it was better than nothing. I wish I could remember where I had that dish and why did I suddenly want to have it (This bothered me the most)?   I also wanted to know why she had such a poker face!  Maybe the so so business situation in this economy had gotten to her? May be she just had a very bad day!   But you can’t take it out on me!  (I guess the quest would never have answers.)   One thing for sure, I won’t be going back there. It won’t be a loss for either of us – they don’t care about customer like me (an occasional one), I didn’t care for the fish dish.  But, now I have a bigger problem, where can I go next time when I want to have some Taiwanese style Chinese food?  Where did all the Taiwanese restaurants disappear to?

Written in Oct. 2011