“I am late for my thing.  I shouldn’t be late.”  I kept telling myself, but I still took my sweet time getting ready to leave the house on this fair weather day.  “It’s the weekend, the traffic will be light!”  I said to myself.

When I was close to the bridge, I glanced at the clock, “Oh! My! I only have 30 minutes to spare!”  The anxious feeling sank into my brain now, “Why did I take my time for gas and Starbucks coffee!  What’s wrong with me?”, “Ha! Nothing is wrong with me.  The gas price is much lower on this side of bridge, who wouldn’t want to save a few pennies! Coffee?  It is an addiction.  Don’t you know?  No one fights an addiction” Again! I was driving and arguing with myself.  I’m wondering “Am I the odd one or do others do the same?”

I could see the increasing traffic on the other highway on my left side which was moving toward to the bridge as mine was slowing down. “Who care?  Everyone knows the lower level traffic is always smoother, and I am heading toward the lower level, I won’t be late.”

About 50 feet after the division for upper and lower level bridge entries, I saw a sea of parked cars and looked up to the sign – LOWER LEVEL IS CLOSED.   I hit the break so hard that I was sure every car around me had jumped.   All I was thinking about was I can’t be late! 

From my side mirror I could see cars behind me near the divider had crossed to the upper level entry highway.  “Damn! I had passed the beginning of the division entry.  It’s only about 50 feet back and I am driving an SUV, it is about time to test my SUV!”   Without a second thought, I turned my wheel left and made a half U turn to cross the lane toward the divider to the highway for upper level entry.   My car was facing other cars and stopped on top of the divider, because now the traffic was not moving at all!

First I could see the shocked face of the passenger in the car I was facing, and then I saw her brake out in laughter.  I realized that an Asian faced small woman with big sun glasses in an SUV which on top of a highway divider was a funny scene.   My god! I definitely have destroyed the image of a perfect Asian woman, beautiful, gentle, and polite for all those drivers and passengers who could see me!

What did I do?   I couldn’t do anything else except to look straight ahead expressionless toward the sea of cars acting as if nothing unusual had occurred here.  The cars started moving again, the car in front of me, or rather I who was across from him, had moved forward.   But, the car behind it had not moved, nor all the cars surrounding me.  Even the cars crossing about 50 feet behind me stopped.  I suddenly understood that they were all kind of afraid of what I would do next and no one wanted to be in my way!   I gracefully drove over the divider easing into the line. “Wait! I don’t want to be in this lane.  The E-zpass toll is at the far left lane, I need to move to the far left side.”   I turned my wheel toward the left and like a good driver I turned on my turning signal.  What a scene that was!  Simultaneously all the cars stopped moving again till I crossed all the way to the far side left lane! 

Wow!  What a feeling, having all that power, having every one stop!  The thrilling feeling of being powerful carried me all the way to my destination.  I felt like I owned the road and no one dared to stop me!  Needless to say, I was only fashionably late!

I finally understood why human beings are willing to cheat, rob, and kill to stay in power.  The feeling of indestructible power is intoxicating!  Especially, when you knew you were in the wrong.  I hope I won’t do anything this stupid again, but then who knows?   At my age, I need some excitement in my life……  And I am keeping my SUV, who cares about the raising gas price!