輓二姨母＊

安息者：
是位長者、教育者，
也是位好鄰居、好教友。

她更是：
孝女、賢妻、好母親；
家族中最受敬愛之人。

當我年幼多恙，
她抱持呵護我，
得幸免病殘早殤。

當我遭變逃亡，
她救助引領我，
得早止悲悽流浪。

如今她年過九三，
可謂德隆壽高，
但仍覺去世太早。

以後她無法得見，
如我能獲稱道，
那一份喜悅榮耀。

我不曾對她說過，
自從我脫掉工服，
已改行從事寫作。

但卻曾給她保障，
說我會多賺些錢，
並定將迎接奉養。

我怎能告訴她？
我未有隻字片言，
發表於報章書刊。

我怎能許那願!
自從我早年離棧，
到如今分文未賺。

現在我來自遠地，
表達對她的敬意，
卻是來參加喪禮。

這對她有何用處，
為何不在她生前，
多予些孝敬照顧？

雖然我們只是，
能有粗茶淡食，
大家須同擠陋室。

仍舊應是優於，
重聽而且弱視，
獨居於養老公寓。

如今她靜臥棺內，
看起來瘦骨楚露，
雖也是雙目緊閉。

我卻是十分相信，
她還能清楚看出，
我依舊心虧衣敝。

不管怎樣，
她將與姨父相聚，
不再會零丁孤寂。

但是何日，
我才能盡洗羞恥，
頂天立地的站起。

願上帝保守及祝福，
她完美的靈魂，
從此息勞安眠。

                                     我這個不肖的外甥，
                                     愧恨交加，
                                     涕泣拜輓。
.
                   
＊英文原詩（附後）曾於1999年12月10日，
   於老人家在臺北的喪禮中拭淚宣誦。
 
.

            輓二姨母 *
An Elegy for Aunty Yi-Ming :
My Mother’s Younger Sister

The departed:
a revered elder and educator,
an endearing neighbor and parishioner.

Also she was:
a loving daughter, wife, mother;
one of our most beloved family members.

She held me
when I was an infirm infant,
so I did not die of injury and disease.

She helped me
when I was a despairing escapee,
so I did not die of hunger and grief.

Now she died at ninety-three,
enjoyed longevity indeed,
still too soon it seemed.

She could never see me, 
beaming with bliss,
if I gain esteem.

I had not told her,
no longer being a worker,
I had become a “promising” writer.

But I had promised,
I could earn some more,
then I would take care of her.

How dare I tell her?
I had not a single word
ever been published on paper.

How dared I promise!
Ever since my early retirement
I have never earned a single dollar.

Presently I come from a faraway place
to pay her my last love and respect,
actually, am attending her last rite!

What good can I be to her?
Why did not I help her
while she was alive?

Although I couldn’t afford
to serve her with savory food,
provide her with a comfortable room;

Still it was better than,
half deaf and kind of blind,
living alone in a nursing home.

Now she lies here,
very thin in her coffin,
with both eyes tightly closed.

Surely I am afraid,
still she can clearly see
my guilty heart and shoddy clothes.

However soon she’ll be laid
at my uncle’s resting place,
no longer feeling desolate.

But when can I get rid
of all my disgrace,
stand up straight?

May God hold
this beautiful soul,
forever in peaceful repose.

                                               I, her shameful nephew,
                                               wrote this, repeatedly kowtowed,
                                               with tearing eyes and sniveling nose.

* Recited at her funeral, on December 10, 1999, at Taipei, Taiwan.