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| 2010/07/21 09:40:44瀏覽285｜回應1｜推薦1 | |
Sometimes, my husband curses me on my sluggish, self-absorbed-listener-attitude. This word really do mean to me. As the matter of fact, his constant demeaning attitude coerces me not to take his no-stop blaming seriously. I know that how overworked, overextended, overwhelmed he is, so he always has his own emotional baggage to sort out. And his problem-focused mindset really destroys any good accession to good communication. I try hard to form a shared mindset of gratitude in order to make our relationship imbued with positivity. I realize that only cycles of positive interactions would feed the emotional bond that connects the two of us. It’s the last thing I want to enter into long-term cycles of negativity and hostility with my closest partner. And I find that there are many people vulnerable in falling victim to these negative cycles. Like my parents and parents-in-law, and even now I am aware that I need to be more alert not to fall into this negative tendency .What’s worse, my son, David, recently uses victim-attitude to ask what he wants from us. As a result, I am in significant need to develop positive communication and language around my families. So positive would be the best slogan for the better attitude, language, behavior, and relationship in my families. Pass evryday with enough and affectionate hellos and goodbyes. A warm, expressive greeting can set the stage for the entire day. A tender “good-bye” allows us and our partner to emotionally hold on to loving feelings while separated from each other. Open good communication by acknowledging each other’s strengths and vulnerabilities. Knowing ourselves and others is the first way to embrace sympathetic and compassionate tendency. Suspend judgment to nurture positive intimacy. Stop communicating when we are in rage. And utilize more indirect and sugar-coved way to communicate by body language, keyed-word message to facilitate more optimistic communication. I-message rather than you should to take more responsibility of our own feelings and emotion. We have the right to express out our emotion and need but the necessity is that what's going on around us are more based on how we react than what happend on us. Trigger warm communicating through touch. Touch is a powerful way to communicate affection and foster intimacy. Touch also has a calming effect on our bodies and create a relaxed, loving atmosphere and make our partner feel special. Iron out stress by laughing together. Shared laughter is a surefire way to keep the connection with your partner vibrant. When you laugh, you’re tapping into the playful energy that transcends life’s stresses. When you and your partner make each other laugh, this energy feeds intimacy and life becomes a little less daunting. Make time for mutual playfulness and make fun of life’s absurdities —this will help you both cope with stress, develop perspective and achieve a greater sense of togetherness. Validate each other’s need of attention, appreciation, and affirmation. It’s the greatest need for every human being. If we can treat each other with this principle, we and others can enjoy one another’s company most. And it’s the foremost truth for happiness. Express clearly what we need and what our partner can do to meet our needs (rather than highlighting how our partner fails to meet our needs). We can get what we want easily by asking for help than complaining. For most of time, what you said is not as important as how you said. How to express our need in a no-threatening way is a very crucial skill for us to learn. Positive! Yeah! Are you positive today? |
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