幾年前友人寄給我的文章。無論心情如何，總是一看就笑，屢試不爽。
題目是：多餘的一句話。

我有一個重大的發現，就是當人們發生衝突的時候，根本原因並不在於各自說了些什麼，而是大家在說完所想要說的話之後的最後的那句話。                           
                                                                         
沒有這句話，大家都很友好地交流，一旦加上了這句話，交談就變成了吵嘴，並且愈演愈烈，最終局面無法收拾。                                              
                                                                         
問題在於，這句話的內容往往和大家要說的事情毫不相干，所以，我把它稱為┌多餘的最後一句話┘。   
                                                                         
舉個例子吧：                                                             
                                                                         
我那天坐公共汽車去辦事，車上人不多，但也沒有空位子，有幾個人還站著，吊在拉手上晃來晃去。
    
一個年輕人，乾乾瘦瘦的，戴個眼鏡，身旁有幾個大包，一看就是剛從外地來的。 
                                                                         
他靠在售票員旁邊，手裏拿著一個地圖在認真研究著，眼裏不時露出茫然的神情，估計是有點兒迷路了。 
                                                                         
他猶豫了半天，很不好意思地問售票員：┌去頤和園應該在哪兒下車啊？┘        
                                                                         
售票員是個短頭髮的小姑娘，正剔著指甲縫呢。                               
                                                                         
她抬頭看了一眼外地小夥兒說：┌你坐錯方向了，應該到對面往回坐。┘           
                                                                         
要說這些話也沒什麼，錯了，大不了小夥兒下站下車馬路對面坐回去唄。         
                                                                         
但是售票員可沒說完，她說那多餘的最後一句話了。                           
                                                                         
┌拿著地圖都看不明白，還看什麼勁兒啊！┘售票員姑娘眼皮都不抬地說。         
                                                                         
外地小夥兒可是個有涵養的人，他嘿嘿笑了一笑，把地圖收起來，準備下一站下車換車。               
                                                                         
旁邊有個大爺可聽不下去了。                                               
                                                                         
他對外地小夥兒說：┌你不用往回坐，再往前坐四站換904也能到。┘            
                                                                         
要是他說到這兒也就完了，那還真不錯，既幫助了別人，也挽回北京人的形象。  
                                                                         
可大爺哪兒能就這麼打住呢，他一定要把那多餘的最後一句話說完：┌現在的年輕人哪，沒一個有教養的！┘                                                    
                                                                         
我心想，大爺這話真是多餘，車上年輕人好多呢，打擊面太大了吧！             
                                                                         
可不！                                                                   
                                                                         
站在大爺旁邊的一位小姐就忍不住了。                                       
                                                                         
┌大爺，不能說年輕人都沒教養吧，沒教養的畢竟是少數嘛。您這麼一說我們都成什麼了！┘           
                                                                         
這位小姐穿得挺時髦，兩根細帶子吊個小背心，臉上化著鮮豔的濃妝，頭髮染成火紅色。               
                                                                         
可您瞧人這話，不像沒教養的人吧，跟大爺還┌您┘啊┌您┘的。                   
                                                                         
可誰叫她也忍不住非要說那多餘的最後一句話呢！                             
                                                                         
┌就像您這樣上了年紀看著挺慈祥的，一肚子壞水兒的可多了呢！┘              
                                                                         
沒有人出來批評一下時髦的小姐是不正常的。                                 
                                                                         
可不！                                                                   
                                                                         
一個中年的大姐說了：┌你這個女孩子怎麼能這麼跟老人講話呢，要有點兒禮貌嘛。你對你父母也這麼說話嗎？┘                                                
                                                                         
您瞧大姐批評得多好！                                                     
                                                                         
把女孩子爹媽一抬出來，女孩子立刻就不吭氣了。                             
                                                                         
要說這事兒就這麼結了也就算了，大家說到這兒也就完了，大家該幹嘛幹嘛去。  
                                                                         
可不要忘了，大姐的┌多餘的最後一句話┘還沒說呢。                           
                                                                         
┌瞧你那樣，估計你父母也管不了你。打扮得跟雞似的！┘                       
                                                                         
後面的事大家就可想而知了，簡單地說，出人命的可能都有。                   
                                                                         
這麼吵著鬧著車可就到站了。                                               
                                                                         
車門一開，售票員小姑娘說：┌都別吵了，該下車的趕快下車吧，別把自己正事兒給耽誤了。┘         
                                                                         
當然，她沒忘了把最後一句多餘的話給說出來：                               
                                                                         
┌要吵統統都給我下車吵去，不下去我車可不走了啊！煩不煩啊！┘               
                                                                         
煩不煩？                                                                 
                                                                         
煩！                                                                     
                                                                         
不僅她煩，所有乘客都煩了！                                               
                                                                         
整個車廂這可叫炸了窩了，罵售票員的，罵外地小夥兒的，罵時髦小姐的，罵中年大姐的，罵天氣的，罵自個兒孩子的，真是人聲鼎沸，甭提多熱鬧了！           
                                                                         
那個外地小夥兒一直沒有說話，估計他實在受不了了，他大叫一聲：┌大家都別吵了！都是我的錯，我自個兒沒看好地圖，讓大家跟著都生一肚子氣！大家就算給我面子，都別吵了行嗎？┘                   
                                                                         
聽到他這麼說，當然車上的人都不好意思再吵了，聲音很快平息下來，少數人輕聲嘀咕了兩句，也就不說話了。                                               
                                                                         
但你們不要忘了，外地小夥兒的┌多餘的最後一句話┘還沒說呢。                 
                                                                         
┌早知道北京人都是這麼一群不講理的王八蛋，我還不如不來呢！┘               
                                                                         
想知道事情最後的結果嗎？我那天的事情沒有辦成。                           
                                                                         
我先到派出所錄了口供，然後到醫院外科把頭上的傷給處理了一下。             
                                                                         
我頭上的傷是在混戰中被售票員小姑娘用票匣子給砸的。                       
                                                                         
你們可別認為我參與了他們打架，我是去勸架來著。                           
                                                                         
我呼籲他們都冷靜一點兒，有話好好說，有沒什麼大事兒，沒什麼必要非打個頭破血流。               
                                                                         
我的多餘的最後一句話是這麼說的：                                         
                                                                         
┌不就是售票員說話不得體嗎？你們就當她是個傻B，和她計較什麼！ ┘