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從1991的六月六, 至今的六千兩百多個日子,
從抱著你進家門, 到你生命末期
抱著你去散步的這六千兩百多個日子,
每個日子, 每一時刻, 都是無比珍貴, 永難忘懷的.

狗寶寶, 我心愛的寶貝,
再怎麼不願, 再怎麼不忍心, 流淚也要說出:
謝謝你. 謝謝你, 這六千兩百多個日子的相陪!

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May 2007
一年一度的獸醫診所行, 帶回來難以承受的檢驗報告:
疑似膀胱癌.

June 2007
連串的檢驗, 證實癌細胞, 佔去了狗寶2/3的膀胱.
小小的狗膀胱, 只剩1/3.  難怪狗寶不斷的要去尿尿.
與專科醫師討論, 三種治療方式, 決定何者較適合狗寶.
從六月一日起, 不間斷地, 每天一粒抗癌藥物.

July 2007
熱愛散步, 野外活動.
草叢裡與蜻蜓蝴蝶競走.

August 2007
好熱的天氣, 出門做客, 花前留影.

Septembe 2007
九月的沙灘驚恐之旅.

Octorber 2007
最後一次的出門遠行.
秋楓, 秋色, 好山, 好水.
還睡了帳蓬, 又享受了一次當野狗滋味.

November 2007
生是苦意是濃.
病發之前一日, 尚還生龍活虎的往前行.
它問: 你幹麻又慢下來?


第一次 Kidney failure, 無力的躺臥軟鋪, 倚在它平日的寶座旁.
從此開始, 每日去獸醫院打點滴的艱苦日子.
活動能力大受影響.
一顆要活的心, 不變的是要它的狗日子如常.

December 2007
寒冬大雪, 也要出門散步.

January 2008
病後初癒, 也要去遊玩.

Febuary 2008
第二次 kidney failure, 病發沉睡中.
這一次的發病, 將近2個星期的不吃, 讓狗寶的體重,
從最高時的58磅掉到27.8磅.
失去的體重, 沒再補回過.
流失最多的是它的肌肉與能量.

March 2008
悠閒的周末, 狗寶在林中漫步.
溫暖的陽光, 在冬天的尾巴, 分外舒爽.
鳥叫蟲鳴. 聞上一口碎木的芳香.
狗生真是好!

April 2008
湖畔的例行散步.
遇上死去的野雁, 嚇了一跳.

May 2008
第三次 kidney failure, 無力緩慢的湖邊散步.

June 2008
月中, 第四次 kidney failure.
六月底的最後一周, 不吃的狗寶, 後腿已經再也無力支撐自己的體重.
堅強的狗寶, 仍然要它例行的活動.
只好, 把狗寶放在背包, 看到適當地點, 放它下來散步.

趁狗寶休息時, 抱起我的狗寶寶坐在沙發椅上.
就是忍不住, 要多抱抱我的狗寶貝.
還能抱嗎? 還有再抱你的時光嗎?

July 2008
狗寶抗癌的終點時刻, 給我關心狗寶的朋友:
July 2, 2008

Dear Friends:

It is over. Dog passed away at 3:58 pm , 07/01/08 .

I am trying to get used to the idea of life without him, my sweet baby for 17 years, my most faithful follower. He had been the support of my spirit and been the reason why I had to work for a living.

I spoke to him out-loud last Sunday afternoon on his daily ride. I thanked him for his 17 years' UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and accompany with me. I told him I am learning to let him go if he is ready. He was quiet but I knew he was listening. After the ride his condition went down much faster, he did not get up on his legs to walk again.

Monday morning, he was on his loveseat watching me preparing things to go for work, he did not move but he was watching. I went back and kissed him many times before I closed the door. When I got back home from work, he lay on the floor amoung pools of his bloody vomit fluit, he obviously got up and walked to the kitchen floor to vomit and could not get up again. I knew I could not delay his departure any longer, not to the day of after July 4th as planned.

Later on Monday's night, He was so quiet, did not ask any thing or activities. He did not close his eyes at all while I stayed beside him whole night. He vomited twice during the night. I knew I could not wait till Wednesday after my presentation. It had to be sooner. I called at 8:15 am to make appointment for 4:30 pm .

The presentation at work was bad. I could not concentrate on what I was talking. No matter, My BabyDog was more important to me. I worked till 11:30 and left the building to rush back home. Again, he lay on his own vomiting pool, this time on the carpet beside the Loveseat, he had no energy to walk to kitchen area. I held my baby to the yard for him to do his last check, neighbor came to say good-bye to him, told him he will have good friends in Heaven. I cleaned BabyDog to make his beautiful fur shinning white again. My sister and I planned to walk dog on the park one last time. It was a hot afternoon even under the shade that Dog could only stand and shaking on the ground not being able to move further. I gave him water he sipped, firm and slow. We tried to let him take time and walk a little bit more.

Seeing him waving his body and not be able to walk, at 3 pm, I held him up and walked across the street to the clinic. They did not say other word but "the room is prepared for you."

They gave us time to stay with dog. Holding my baby this last moment, he was very quiet and knew the meaning of all these. Finally, I held him and asked him "is this a YES? is it time? are you ready?" He had not been able to use his noise to touch my fist as an answer for a long time so he breathed a sigh to tell me yes lightly.

I knew he was ready.
I knew he wanted to go.
I knew he knew I should be OK if he is not here with me.

Therefore, I agreed to let the Viet injected the fluid and his heart stopped within 5 seconds. It was 3:58 pm .

My Baby.
My Precious Baby.

I woke up twice last night by his usual peeing time. Walking around the house, calling for my Babydog, even though, I knew he was not here physically. My brain and my heart mixed all feelings. I am trying to take the fact into my life, but it is so hard.

He was with me every pleace whereever I went. In the kitchen, in rooms, sitting on his Loveseat, everything I did, he always paid great interest. I know him no longer waiting here for me. But, how I wish he could be here waiting when I open the door.

Please share my Love to my BabyDog and give your prayer to him to guide him to the right place in Heaven, I made him promised to reserve a place for me and wait for me there for I will joint him one day happily.

Love
NS

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