Helen Adams Keller：The Story of My Life (7)

海倫‧凱勒 著  東年 譯

瑪莎‧華盛頓和我一樣非常熱衷於調皮搗蛋。一個炎熱的七月下午，兩個小孩坐在走廊的階梯上。一個黑得像木製鋼琴黑鍵那樣黑，頭上用鞋帶綁著一串串絨毛狀頭髮，像螺旋狀的錐子在頭上到處突出；另一個是白人小孩，頭髮是金色的，又長又捲。一個是六歲，另一個約是兩、三歲。較幼小的那個是盲童──就是我，另一個就是瑪莎‧華盛頓。我們忙著剪出很多紙娃娃，但是很快就玩膩。在剪碎我們的鞋帶以及剪下我們伸手能及的金銀花樹的全部葉子之後，我把注意力轉向瑪莎滿頭的螺絲辮子；她反抗一下下就屈服了。認為互相剪是公平的，她後來搶走剪刀剪下一撮我的捲髮──她想繼續把我的捲髮剪掉，我母親剛好看到，制止了。 

我的另一個玩伴，蓓兒，是我們家的狗。她又老又懶散，寧願在璧爐開口前睡覺而不和我嘻鬧。我努力教她我的手語，她卻毫無反應也不關心。有時候她會突然跳起來，興奮顫抖；這時她會很謹慎，就像牠們瞄準了一隻鳥的時候那樣。我不明白那時蓓兒為何舉止這樣，但是我知道她不是依我的願望行動。這讓我很生氣，給她上課總是以我自己單獨比畫的拳賽結束。這時，她就會站起伸伸懶腰，輕蔑的嗅了嗅，然後走到壁爐的對邊繼續懶躺；而我，又累又沮喪，就離開去找瑪莎。 

許多那些早年的事件占滿我的記憶；各各獨立，但是清晰各異，組成那個寂靜無聲、前途茫茫、極度黑暗的生活的意識。 

有一天我偶然濺濕了身穿的圍兜，我將它展開在起居室壁爐閃爍的火焰前烘烤。我不滿意圍兜乾得不夠快，所以把它推得更近火焰並且扔在灼熱的灰燼上；悶火突然活跳起來，火舌在我身上環繞….以至於有個片刻，我的衣服熾烈的燒著。我哭出驚恐的喊聲，引起懷妮的注意；我這位年老的保姆跑來救我，她扔了一張毯子蓋住我，將火撲滅，而我差點窒息。除了我的雙手和頭髮，我並沒被燒傷。 

Martha Washington had as great a love of mischief as I. Two little children were seated on the veranda steps one hot July afternoon. One was black as ebony, with little bunches of fuzzy hair tied with shoestrings sticking out all over her head like corkscrews. The other was white, with long golden curls. One child was six years old, the other two or three years older. The younger child was blind–that was I–and the other was Martha Washington. We were busy cutting out paper dolls; but we soon wearied of this amusement, and after cutting up our shoestrings and clipping all the leaves off the honeysuckle that were within reach, I turned my attention to Martha's corkscrews. She objected at first, but finally submitted. Thinking that turn and turn about is fair play, she seized the scissors and cut off one of my curls, and would have cut them all off but for my mother's timely interference.  

Belle, our dog, my other companion, was old and lazy and liked to sleep by the open fire rather than to romp with me. I tried hard to teach her my sign language, but she was dull and inattentive. She sometimes start ed and quivered with excitement, then she became perfectly rigid, as dogs do when they point a bird. I did not then know why Belle acted in this way; but I knew she was not doing as I wished. This vexed me and the lesson always ended in a one-sided boxing match. Belle would get up, stretch herself lazily, give one or two contemptuous sniffs, go to the opposite side of the hearth and lie down again, and I, wearied and disappointed, went off in search of Martha.  

Many incidents of those early years are fixed in my memory, isolated, but clear and distinct, making the sense of that silent, aimless, dayless life all the more intense.  

One day I happened to spill water on my apron, and I spread it out to dry before the fire which was flickering on the sitting-room hearth. The apron did not dry quickly enough to suit me, so I drew nearer and threw it right over the hot ashes. The fire leaped into life; the flames encircled me so that in a moment my clothes were blazing. I made a terrified noise that brought Viny, my old nurse, to the rescue. Throwing a blanket over me, she almost suffocated me, but she put out the fire. Except for my hands and hair I was not badly burned.