Okay, so I have tried to get rid of my dog like six times on craigslist
over the past few weeks. I tried telling this story of woe about this
adorable little dog and how I love her so much and how she was a rescue and all that. I explained that now with a 2 year old daughter it is just too much to have two dogs and how my family and I need to simplify cause we live in a condo and life is hard -- so sad. All of this is
pretty much true and I tried to make the language in my past postings
as well without spilling the beans about what the real story is with
this dog because if most people knew, there is no way they would take
this little freak.
Like I said, everything described above is for the most part true
except for the part about me loving her so much; I don't. I hate her.
And while many who meet her find her very adorable, the truth is, this
dog is seriously problematic.
So after having tried to post something nice about this dog in my
attempt to rid myself of her, I am now going to just be brutally honest
and hope that there is some freak out there who will find it an
appealing prospect to own and care for a poo eating, garbage toppling,
pill popping (literally a whole bottle of prescription pain killers),
disrespectful, not trained at all, constantly under-foot, marginally
violent, always surly, rarely happy, eating and begging machine.
Below I have compiled a list which is only but a sampling of the things
Daisy does regularly that makes her truly the worst dog I have ever
owned. I would go into detail, but she is not worth the time.
Daisy is the worst dog in part because she:
1. Eats poo -- baby (as in diaper -- see below), chicken, human, cat, dog, etc.
2. Drags poo -- as in she brings it inside, such as the diapers that used to end up shredded to pieces on our bed
3. Eats garbage -- Any trash can and its contents left in her reach will be toppled and destroyed
4. Opens the refrigerator -- I have to have a velcro strap on it to
keep her out otherwise she will open the door less than 30 seconds
after I leave and eat everything in it
5. Is mean -- Simply put, she has no use for people, unless of course they have food
6. Will not die -- run over by a truck, $2,500 and 8 weeks of
intensive recovery, run over by a buick and rolled 7 times right in
front of me then got up and ran to my car and hopped in the seat happy as a clam and no injuries
7. Rolls in dead animals -- Seals are her favorite it seems, but dead rotten earthworms are a close second place for her
8. Constantly, constantly, constantly begs -- I cannot write the word constantly enough to adequately make the point
9. Growls, threatens to attack and at times does -- Mainly tied to her small size and constant fear of being squashed, thankfully her
teeth are dull as posts and her bite, which is rare, is harmless
10. Not at all obedient -- Will not sit, stay, or come (unless food is involved, but that is hopefully clear by now)
11. Picks fights she cannot finish -- This then puts our other dog
at risk cause he goes out to protect her when she has conered a cat,
skunk (yes twice) or whatever else she comes across
12. Has serious gastrointestinal issues -- Primarily related to her constant begging and eating of garbage, scraps and poo
13. Injures self often -- In addition to the major issues mentioned
above requiring surgery and extended medical care ($6-9K so far) she
also has a bad leg which is just an ongoing thing that does not need to
be addressed the vet says
I thought it fitting to stop at 13 given how unlucky I have been to
have this dog in my life. These are just a few of the key flaws I could
come up with off the top of my head. There are many more which I could
list, but I am hungry and I need to cook my steak now. It is a steak
that she will have no part of, I promise you this.
So there it is. The truth about Daisy. I hate her guts. She has put
me through hell in the past couple days especially and I am now at the
point to where if I cannot find her a good home by Monday, I am taking
her sorry fat ass to the pound and leaving her with a sizeable donation
to cover the pain and suffering that they will have to endure by
accepting her.
While I do very much hate this dog, I do love animals and don't
want her to suffer. My daughter who is only 2 also loves her very much
and I could not look her in the eye if I did not do a good job of
finding this rotten wretch a home that I knew was going to at least
care for her and make her comfortable. This is why the pound is my last option.
You however, can be Daisy's hero. Save her from the life which I
know I am in many ways at fault for creating. I know it is a life where
she is not happy and my family and I certainly are not happier becuase
of her. I know I should not have adopted her from that nice animal
rescue in Filmore all those years ago. I should have put her in
obedience school; should have, could have, would have, oh the regrets! boo hoo.
Be that hero, in the words of Michael Jackson: Make that change. I dare you.

If you can't take her, help me find some poor sap that will.
Email me and I will get back to you.
Pics are below. She is about 13 pounds and 9 years old. Walks okay on a leash -- at least she's got that going for her.

• Location: Santa Barbara
  
• From: Craigslist
• 翻譯:一隻幸災樂禍的狗