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| 2013/06/26 18:43:38瀏覽140｜回應0｜推薦0 | |
| In a little less than a month, it will have been 2 years since a long-awaited and much-anticipated, life-changing day. On June 2, 2011, I accepted my first full-time teaching job at a small, rural high school. It was as close to my "dream job" as I could have imagined being at the time. Truly, it was something I did not take for granted, mostly due to the road it took to get there. I love my job. Still. Really. I work for an awesome administration, have fabulous coworkers, and [for the most part] I really can't complain about my students. Sure, there have been THOSE days. But I still know that this is an amazing opportunity. I do what I love with great people every day. I never dread going to "work". But here's the thing. Over the past few months, I've realized--rather, been reminded--that this is only a step along the way. I am not meant to be here forever. I never wanted to be. And right now, I'm being reminded of that in some...somewhat discouraging ways. Yes, I love my job. And I'm good at it. I am a teacher through and through. But teaching in the particular school and situation I do... it is exhausting. Physically, mentally, emotionally extremely draining. And time-consuming. No, life-consuming. It is very difficult for me in this way. It is not how I'm wired. I've never been one for busyness and stress and run-run-run. I work my butt off, and yet there is always so much more I could and want to do. Sure, I could take the easy road; but I will never do that. I will either be the best teacher I can be, or I won't be one at all. There is no middle ground in this for me, not in these circumstances. And, while it will get a little easier over time and with experience, it will always be like this for me if I stay. It just will. |
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| ( 心情隨筆｜心靈 ) |
