秋  會

An Autumn Meeting *

The long night is filled with moody coldness.

Tossing and turning he hears the insect cries.

Loneliness penetrates his heart and bones.

Gloom pervades the valley and campsite.

He sighs, sighs, finally uncovers and rises,

hesitantly puts on his shoes, then his coat. 

Sadly, silently, he stoops to exit his tent,

out into moonlight and air, clear and cold.

Slowly, sleepily, he roams around and away.

Dazedly, hazily he goes afar off to Shansi.

Nearing his long departed home village,

he sees a woman, who is his fiancée.

They cannot recognize one another at first,

Close pass, with suspicion and hesitation.

They turn to look at each other with long stare,

Soon sense with confirmation and elation!

.

“It’s you, my true love?” he stumbles,

Now you look not the same as years before.”

 “It’s you, truly my love?” she stammers.

Now you are also changed, even uniformed!”

They tightly hold hands, then firmly embrace;

trembling, weeping, moaning with pain.

They let go and move to a nearby shady place,

to talk, but not knowing where to begin.

.

“How are you, my dear? Are you well?”

She nods and smiles, but once more cries.

“Married? Or…?”  Again he timidly asks.

“No,” she shakes her head, and deeply sighs.

“Have a new love, someone, something?”

“Those wolves or rats! I’d rather die!”

“How did you keep them away, still safe?”

“I mudded myself, also swore suicide.”

“Where are you going, now, at this place?”

“I came out to find you, my fiancé and friend.”

“Did you miss me? Do you still love me?”

“My love is spring wind; longing, autumn rain.”

“Where are you going, now, at this time?”

“Coming back to see you, also my family.”

“I’m sorry to tell, your parents have cruelly died,

your brothers were forced to fight, sisters to marry.”

“Oh, No! My parents? How did it happen?”

“We brought back and buried their bloody remains.

Your father was beaten to death at his trial.

Your mother was tortured to death while detained.” 

“Oh, God!  How could they be so savage?”

“Human dogs were more inhuman than tigers.

Any time, any master, if issued an order,

they vied to be the most fierce, to win favor.”

“What was our offense? What was their conviction!”

“They graded people into groups, either black or red;

then incriminated us at random, condemned us at will.

Who cared for justice? Who dared say that they lied!”

“How could they punish also my little brothers?”

“It was a policy of ‘pull out all the roots’.

They forced them to join the war then in Korea.

It was a method of ‘one stone kills two’.”

“How could they molest my spotless sisters?”

“In order to reward their favorite followers.

They divided and dragged them away, in tears,

then possessed and oppressed them, forever.”

“Now, then, let me call on your parents.”

“They, too, have become two resentful ghosts.

My father hanged his body under a beam.

My mother smashed her head against its post.”

“Oh, Lord, how sadly they destroyed themselves!”

“When the bull is butchered the mule is in terror;

so they chose to end their own miserable lives,

in order to avoid further unbearable torture.”

“Do you think, I can visit my mother’s family?”

“I don’t want to tell you their tragedy:

they were bound by the wrists, hanged under trees,

until all slowly died in extreme agony.”

“How could they! My kindly grandpa and ma!

Not an uncle, aunt, or cousin left alive?”

“A few girls. I don’t think they dare see you.

Now, people here, only want to survive.”

“Then, I’ll go to see my parents’ graves.” 

“All the cemeteries now are nowhere in sight:

Coffins were dug up for timber and treasure,

mounds were leveled down to grow corn or rice.”

“Can’t I return to see my home – to see my houses?”

“Don’t you know they no longer belong to you?

They were divided and occupied by the empowered.

Like cuckoos, they’d evict the original brood.”

“What shall I do, now, my love?”

“You’d better go back to your army.

Here, you have no home, no country.

The governors will see you as an enemy.

“You’ll be arressted as a traitor, an agent.

They’ll condemn you for treason or espionage.

No one will dare protect, or defend you.

Everyone shall inform, and shout his charge.

“Village cadres will welcome you with ropes and chains.

District officers await you to torture and question.

Repeatedly, they’ll treat you with whips and canes,

then arrange a trial for your condemnation.

“The public trial is a horrible show.

There is no justice, no one can survive.

You’ll die as a beaten dog, right on the stage;

or later in a sandpit at riverside, be buried alive!

“It was fortunate that year, you escaped at night.

Next morning they came with long guns and spears.

Relatives and friends silently celebrated your safety.

Rascals and jackals loudly stomped with swear words.

“A scared wild goose would ever avoid the snare.

An escaped lake carp would long evade the net.

Why do you return to plunge right into their pot,

to sacrifice your life, to satisfy their appetite?”

“I am desperate to know things of home.

That’s why I come back to inquire alone.

Tomorrow I’ll go back to my garrison.

Together we’ll come to rescue you, soon.

“Armed forces on the islands are preparing:

stocking provisions, sharpening weapons.

Once the time is ripe and all are ready,

we shall start the returning invasion.

“What will you do now, my beloved dame?”

“I’ll go right with you, my betrothed man.

Follow you, so I can get my freedom.

Later, to get married when we can.  

“All our relations and friends have perished.

Both our home and country are ruined.

There is no one, nothing, here I’d care for.

I cannot last long among those fiends.

“We hope for a savior, for a morning sun.

Suffering and darkness will never end.

It’s fortunate, today, I can meet you.

How can I bear to lose you again?

“If you fly in the sky, I’ll fly close beside. 

If you walk on land, I’ll walk close behind.

I’d follow you to the border of the sky,

or we can escape to a corner of the land.”

.

*                         *                          *

.

Still can feel the affection of long ago,

they sit closely with cheeks rubbing hairs.

Still can remember the words of long ago,

they talk intimately with lips touching ears.

Trying to relive the joyful past,

they tickle, giggle, titter with laughter.

Trying to revive their desire at last,

they embrace, kiss, and caress each other.

.

“How sweet, her cherrily lips!

I have longed for them night and day.

How supple, her willowy waist!

I have yearned for her asleep or awake.

“How firm, her rounded breasts!

Today, let my passion enjoy a spree.

How silky, her tapering legs!

Tonight, let my ardor run all free.

“How warm and wonderful, this embrace!

Why push me away, and turn your face?  

Is it unbearable? Am I inconsiderate?

Why clench your teeth, and grimace?

“How pleasing!  How blissful, this is!

Such soft groans and sensual writhes.

How exalted!  How ecstatic, this is!

What a firm kiss and fast breaths!”

.

*                        *                          *

.

“I have saved my body and soul all these long years.

Tonight I present my whole self to you, my fiancé.

Do you feel fully pleased? Am I still a good maid?

I hope can forever serve you, never be forsaken.”

 “I too have been true to you, my dearest:

disciplined myself as a celibate soldier.

I swear you will have my love forever,

until we pass away when much older.”

“Why not get married with a Taiwanese girl?

They say the islanders are all sweet and fair.

That can comfort you in your loneliness,

and procreate children to be your heirs.”

“Day and night, I think only of you, dear.

Your beauty and merit are beyond compare.

Fortunately, today, we are happily together.

I sincerely thank Heaven for His mercy and care.”

.

*                     *                     *

.

Suddenly, loud gunfire and battle-cry explode!

They vibrate the ground and lighten the sky!

He jumps to his feet and drags her to flee.

“Why is it, my legs seem all paralyzed?”

“Hurry, hurry!” They try to run quickly.

Struggling to sprint, but only to swirl.

“Oh, the damned stone! Such a stumble!”

He falls to the earth, returns to the world.

.

*                     *                     *

Still trembling when he awakes,

exhausted as if after a long field race.

He discovers he is still on his cot,

in his very tent, at the same camp place.

The light is dim, the moon is going down.

One mate snores, one groans in nightmare.

Distant roosters crow the day is dawning.

Insects outside are still crying for a pair.

Dew has damped his military blanket.

Sweat makes his body sticky and chilly.

What is the matter both cold and wet,

greasy and smeary on his lower belly?

His pillow now is more cold and wet.

Saliva still creeps, but his throat is dry.

Who knows whether, he feels bitter or sweet?

Lying there, he only, shakes his head and cries.

* This is an English version of the author’s Chinese work.

It was written and translated more than fifty years ago.

Now it seems a little bit inappropriate to read for,

as the time passed and circumstances altered.

However it can serve as a witness and record of

the cruelty of Communist despotism and Chinese civil war,
so we can remember the tragic suffering of all Chinese people.

05/31/2012