亞 伯 定 律

這不是甚麼情歌或笑話，
是要談那墨菲定律：
它說〝所有能壞的事，會壞。〞
其影響對人類甚巨。

它好像一隻巨獸在舞爪，
隨時會把我們傷害。
我主張把它趕跑忘掉，
換上個好定律來。

或許我們可把它反轉，
〝所有能好的事，會好。〞
你看僅只是一字之差，
人類便可免禍而得寶。
.

其實這並不是個新觀念，
只是無人正式提倡。
或許它也應該有個名字，
以便於註冊及推廣。

今有一位勇伯名叫亞伯，
想要把它廣傳環宇。
如此我們何不把它訂名
並登記作亞伯定律。
.

墨菲是位名工程師，
任職于NASA的試驗室。
其定律是來自研究
太空中的衝撞減速程式。

我世人不分賢愚
都把它奉為寶典。
孰不知其實為障礙，
會損害我們的發展。

亞伯是個蹩腳詩人，
寄住在PWWA的閣樓裡。
其定律是來自拍摸
他的厚臉皮與光頭皮。

所有他可愛可笑的詩友，
都認為其難能可貴。
齊說它是神丹妙藥，
能造福酸痛的人類。
.

負面的思想常會造成
負面的結果。
墨菲律會給我們帶來
挫折與災禍。

正面的思想常會達成
正面的效果。
亞伯律會給我們帶來
幸福與快樂。

為甚麼不打倒那
陳腐痛苦的墨菲律，
一腳把它踢去九霄?

為甚麼不歡迎這
新奇甜美的亞伯律，
把能力成就都提高?

任何能好的事，
無論如何會好。
願這個性感的定律，
能成我們的無價寶。
.

儍瓜也會作點聰明事，
鼓勵鼓勵這個老活寶。

亞伯定律萬歲！
讓我們開懷大笑！

英文原詩附後，並請斧正。
此詩版權公開，歡迎轉載 。

2003年的搞笑諾貝爾獎（ Ig Nobel Prize）于十月二日在哈佛的Sanders 劇院宣佈。其工程獎頒予：故John Paul Stapp, 故 Edward A. Murphy, Jr., 及 George Nichols， 以表揚他們于1949年聯合產生的墨菲定律（Murphy's Law）。

這件新聞促使我重寫這首詩，以頌揚這項選擇並遣責這條定律。

亞 伯 定 律
Albert’s Law *

This is not a laughing matter or love song.
The traditional Murphy’s Law proclaims,
“If anything can go wrong, will go wrong.”
It has the worst influence on human race.

Perhaps it’s much like a merciless monster,
permanently shadows people with its paw.
I suggest we get up and get rid of it forever;
then replace it with a proper or better law.

Maybe we can try to change it adversely,
“If anything can go right, will go right.”
You see! Only one word is altered,
influence veers to the best side!

.

Basically, this is not a new notion,
but no one formally mentions it before.
For its registration and promotion,
we must name or christen it, of course.

Here is an able-bodied Albert
who pro-formaly talks it now;
therefore, we’d better register
and proclaim it’s Albert’s Law.

Murphy originally was an engineer
in a laboratory of the NASA.
His law came from an experiment
of clash force in space age.

All the wise and unwise people
accepted it as an absolute truth.
Actually it’s an abstractive obstacle,
can hinder human’s all sorts of growth.

Albert presently is a poetaster
in a penthouse/basement of PWWA.
His law comes from patting/rubbing
his half bald head and hard brazen face.

All his fancy, funny, feverish fellow poets
accept it as a premium, precious thing.
They imagine it’s a miracle potion
can cure their sour, sore being.

.

Negative thinking can lead to
only negative consequence.
Murphy’s law can bring us
only pain and sadness.

Positive thinking can lead to
all positive consequence.
Albert’s law can bring us
all pleasure and happiness.

Why not we boot that bad, old,
bitter, foul, Murphy’s Law?
Drive it out of our mind!

Why don’t we meet this fresh, great,
pretty, sweet, Albert’s Law?
Liven up all our might!

Anything can go right,
anyway will go right!
May this sexy law
bring us sun light?

.

Sometimes even a simpleton
may make something proud.
Give this old clown
some applause!

Long live! Albert’s law!
Let us laugh out loud!!!

.

* The 2003 Ig Nobel Prize winners were announced and awarded at Harvard’s Sanders Theater on the evening of October 2. The Engineering Prize went to the late John Paul Stapp, the late Edward A. Murphy, Jr., and George Nichols, for jointly giving birth in 1949 to Murphy's Law.

This news stimulated me to rewrite this poem and posted it at the Poetry Board of PWWA, to praise the award, but reprobate the law.

* Copyright open to the public.