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夫妻笑話一擔
2011/01/06 00:08:20瀏覽588|回應1|推薦28


正兒八經的書,我讀得不多;我愛的是上窮碧落下黃泉的雜書,尤其是笑話,讀了又忘,百笑不厭。《笑林廣記》中有一則笑話,恰好是我的寫照。


有位秀才年將七十,老而彌堅,生了一子。因為有了年紀才生的,於是給孩子取名為『年紀』。不久,又生一子,看起來似乎是塊讀書的料,便命名為『學問』。沒想到隔年又生了一個兒子,自己也忍不住笑了:『如此老年,還生兒子,真笑話也。』因此取名為『笑話』。三個兒子逐漸年長,無所事事,乾脆讓他們一起入山打柴。孩子歸來後,老秀才問說:『俺家三個崽兒,誰打的柴多?』妻子回答說:『年紀有了一把,學問一些也無,笑話倒有一擔。


哈哈!


朋友曉得我的癖好,每每寄些笑話分享,葷素不拘,土洋皆妙。2011年才觀賞過跨年煙火,便收到好友伊媚兒轉寄的笑話。這一看,險些沒笑散俺的大門牙。哈哈!這年頭,不懼內者幾希!堂堂漢子一旦套上婚枷,即使沒染上『妻管癌』,時不時也得添購一座『床頭跪』,只為夫人如此多嬌呀。大丈夫嘴巴逞強不說,心中那分辛酸,苦哪!無意識間,一股悻悻然的氣味便流露出來了。我為好友一掬同情之淚。


咦?且慢!晦氣晦氣!新年伊始,寄這種笑話給俺作啥?分明是尋俺的開心來也!可惡!晦氣得趕緊散發出去,要不,新年才剛開始,晦氣罩頭,叫俺怎生熬下去?



                    Husband vs. Wife                                           



Husband: Do you know the meaning of W I F E?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
 
Wife: No, darling. It means, With Idiot For Ever.

 


─────────────────                                                                                                     

 
Wife: I wish I were a newspaper, so I'd be in your hands all day.                                   
 
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, so I could have a new one every day.




───────────────── 


Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.    

Wife: When must I give them to him? 

Doctor: They are for you.
 



───────────────── 


Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.


 

───────────────── 


Husband: Today is Sunday and I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents.




───────────────── 

 
Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?

Husband: A lovely push...!!!




───────────────── 


Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?                 

A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again.
 



───────────────── 

 
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."               

The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice that."
 





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洪明傑〔洪杰〕
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笑話
2011/01/07 15:36

報紙新解

.......  So I could have a new one every day.

這句真是絕妙

尋常人家(Lysendesikh) 於 2011-01-07 18:39 回覆:

嘿嘿,網路時代啦...

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