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虛空有盡 我願無窮
情與無情 同圓種智 |
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文章數：247 |
 當我足夠愛我自己 |
| 心情隨筆｜心靈 2025/12/11 14:02:27 |
這兩天，先是意外聽到這個版本的金剛薩埵百字明咒，讓我突然整個人沉澱下來。然後讀到Kim McMillen 寫的這本小書“當我足夠愛我自己”。我知道，我必須把這書翻譯出來連同音樂一起分享給大家。
聽著音樂讀著書，很多過往從眼前飛過。什麼叫做愛自己？我愛我自己嗎？我足夠愛我自己嗎？
這本書，從作者的立場，寫下了她多年來的領悟。看了很感動，每一句都讓我沉思。
歲末將至，回顧自己這一年，生命中發生了太多的事，有大喜，也有大悲。我改變能改變的，接受不能改變的，學著跟自己，跟外在，和平相處。這才能取得內在的平衡與寧靜。這音樂跟這本書，來得正是時候，讓我好好反省自己這一年，也讓我知道如何更輕鬆更坦然地去面對往下要走的路。
也希望這音樂跟書，對大家都有幫助。
光 合十
Introduction 介紹
For many years I lived with a guarded heart. I did not know how to extend love and compassion to myself. In my fortieth year that began changing.
多年來，我一直小心翼翼地保護自己。我不知道如何愛自己，如何對自己慈悲。直到四十歲那年，這一切才開始改變。
As I grew to love all of who I am, life started changing in beautiful and mysterious ways. My heart softened and I began to see through very different eyes.
當我開始愛上完整的自己，生活也開始以美好而神祕的方式改變。我的心變得柔軟，我開始用截然不同的眼光看待世界。
My commitment to follow this calling grew strong and in the process a divine intelligence came to guide my life. I believe this ever present resource is grace, and is available to us all.
我追隨這份召喚的決心日益堅定，在這個過程中，一種神聖的智慧進入了我的生命而且開始指引我的人生。我相信，這種無所不在的資源就是恩典，它惠及我們所有人。
For the past twelve years I have been learning to recognize and accept this gift. Cultivating love and compassion for myself made it possible.
在過去的十二年裡，我一直在學習如何認識和接受這份禮物。培養對自己的愛與慈悲，使這一切成為可能。
The following steps are uniquely mine. Yours will look different. But I do hope mine give voice to a hunger you may share.
以下的步驟是我個人的獨特經驗。你的經歷或許會有所不同。但我真心希望我的經歷能觸動你內心深處的渴望。
（以下開始正文）
When I loved myself enough I quit settling for too little.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再委屈貶低我自己。
When I loved myself enough I came to know my own goodness.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始認識到自己的良善。
When I loved myself enough I began taking the gift of life seriously and gratefully.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始認真而感恩地對待這份生命賜予的禮物。
When I loved myself enough I began to know I was in the right place at the right time and I could relax.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始明白自己時刻都處在對的時間和對的地點，我可以放鬆我自己。
When I loved myself enough I felt compelled to slow down way down. And that has made all the difference.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我覺得自己必須放慢我的腳步，而且非常慢。這讓我的世界從此改觀。
When I loved myself enough I bought a feather bed.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我買了一張羽絨床墊。
When I loved myself enough I came to love being alone surrounded by silence, awed by its spell, listening to inner space.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始享受獨處，沉浸在寂靜之中，被它的魅力所震撼，聆聽內心的聲音。
When I loved myself enough I came to see I am not special but I am unique.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始明白我並不特別，但我是獨一無二的。
When I loved myself enough I redefined success and life became simple. Oh, the pleasure of that.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我重新定義什麼是成功，生活從此變得簡單。啊，那是多麼美好的享受。
When I loved myself enough I came to know I am worthy of knowing God directly.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我明白我值得直接去認識上帝。
When I loved myself enough I began to see I didnt have to chase after life. If I am quiet and hold still, life comes to me.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始明白我不必追著生活跑。如果我保持安靜，靜下心來，生活就會向我走來。
When I loved myself enough I gave up the belief that life is hard.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我便不再相信生活是很艱難的。
When I loved myself enough I came to see emotional pain is a signal I am operating outside truth.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我才明白，情感上的痛苦是我偏離真理的訊號。
When I loved myself enough I let the tomboy in me swing off the rope in Jackass Canyon. Yes!
當我足夠愛我自己時，我便讓內心那個偽小子在傑克阿斯峽谷上飛盪下來，不用再繼續偽裝。對，就這樣！
When I loved myself enough I learned to meet my own needs and not call it selfish.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我學會滿足自己的需求，而且不再覺得是自私。
When I loved myself enough the parts of me long ignored, the orphans of my soul, quit vying for attention. That was the beginning of inner peace. Then I began seeing clearly.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我那些長期被忽視的部分，我靈魂中的孤兒，就停止爭奪關注。那是內心平和的開始。然後，我開始對事物有更清楚的覺知。
When I loved myself enough I began to see that desires of the heart do come, and I grew more patient and calm, except when I forgot.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始明白，心中所願終會實現，我變得更有耐心和平靜，除非我忘記了。
When I loved myself enough I quit ignoring or tolerating my pain.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再忽視或容忍自己的痛苦。
When I loved myself enough I started feeling all my feelings, not analyzing them ─ really feeling them. When I do, something amazing happens. Try it. You will see.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始感受所有的情緒，我不再去分析它們，而是真正去感受它們。當我這樣做時，奇妙的事情發生了。試試吧，你會明白的。
When I loved myself enough my heart became so tender it could welcome joy and sorrow equally.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我的心變得如此柔軟，能夠平等地接納喜悅與悲傷。
When I loved myself enough I started meditating every day. This is a profound act of self-love.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始每天靜坐。這是一種深刻的自愛行為。
When I loved myself enough I came to feel like a gift to the world and I collected beautiful ribbons and bows. They still hang on my wall to remind me.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我覺得自己是個禮物可以回饋服務世界。我收集了許多美麗的緞帶和蝴蝶結。它們至今仍掛在我的牆上，提醒著我，要回饋服務世界。
（光的註釋：緞帶和蝴蝶結，也可能指的是作者獲得的獎勵或是參與的社會活動，別在身上的緞帶或是蝴蝶結）
When I loved myself enough I learned to ask “Who in me is feeling this way” when I feel anxious, angry, restless or sad. If I listen patiently I discover who needs my love.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我學會了在感到焦慮、憤怒、煩躁或悲傷的時候問自己：「我內心的哪個部分在感受這種情緒？」如果我耐心傾聽，就能發現內在哪個部分需要我的愛。
When I loved myself enough I no longer needed things or people to make me feel safe.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再需要外在的人事物來讓我感到安全。
When I loved myself enough I quit wishing my life looked some other way and began to see that as it is, my life serves my evolution.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再奢望生活會變成別的樣子，而是開始接受生活原本的樣子，我的生活幫助我的成長。
When I loved myself enough I began to comprehend the complexity, mystery and vastness of my soul. How foolish to think I can know the meaning of another’s life.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我才開始理解我靈魂的複雜、神秘和浩瀚。認為自己能夠了解他人生命的意義，是個多麼愚蠢的想法。
When I loved myself enough I quit projecting my strengths and weaknesses onto others and kept them as my own.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再將自己的優點和缺點投射到別人身上，而是將它們保留在自己身上。
When I loved myself enough I began to feel a divine presence in me and hear its guidance. I am learning to trust this and live from it.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始感受到內在的神聖存在，並聆聽它的指引。我正在學習信任它，並依此而活。
When I loved myself enough I quit exhausting myself by trying so hard.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我停止因爲過度努力嘗試而搞得自己精疲力竭。
When I loved myself enough I began to feel a community within. This inner team with diverse talents and idiosyncrasies is my strength and my potential. We hold team meetings.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始感受到內心深處的共同體。這個擁有多元才能和獨特個性的內在團隊，是我的力量和潛能。我們定期召開團隊會議。
When I loved myself enough I stopped blaming myself for choices I had made ─ which made me feel safe and I took responsibility for them.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再為自己所做的選擇責備自己，這讓我感到安全，我也開始為自己所做的事負責。
When I loved myself enough I began seeing the abuse in trying to force something or someone who isn’t ready ─ including me.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始意識到強迫還沒準備好的人去做事，或是強迫還沒成熟的事去發生，這些都是專擅、卑汙的行為。這也包括強迫我自己。
When I loved myself enough I began walking and taking the stairs every chance I got, and choosing the scenic route.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始抓住一切機會步行和走樓梯，並選擇風景優美的路線。
When I loved myself enough I became my own authority by listening to the wisdom of my heart. This is how God speaks to me. This is intuition.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我透過聆聽內心的智慧，成為了自己的權威。這是上帝跟我對話的方式。這就是直覺。
When I loved myself enough I began feeling such relief.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始感到無比的輕鬆。
When I loved myself enough the impulsive part of me learned to wait for the right time. Then I became clear and unafraid.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我衝動的一面學會了等待合適的時機。然後，我變得清明而無所畏懼。
When I loved myself enough I began to accept the unacceptable.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始接受那些原本無法接受的人事物。
When I loved myself enough I began to see that my ego is part of my soul. With this shift in perception it lost its stridency and paranoia and could do its job.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始意識到自我也是我靈魂的一部分。隨著這種認知的轉變，它不再那麼咄咄逼人、疑神疑鬼，而是能夠做好它的本份。
When I loved myself enough I would sometimes wake in the night to music playing within me.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我有時會在夜裡醒來，感覺體內正在播放音樂。
When I loved myself enough I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits — anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始離開一切不健康的事物。這包括人、工作、我自己的信仰和習慣——任何讓我變得渺小的東西。我曾經覺得這是不忠誠。但現在我卻認為這是自愛。
When I loved myself enough I gave up perfectionism that killer of joy.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我放棄了完美主義，因為完美主義扼殺了喜悅。
When I loved myself enough I could tell the truth about my gifts and my limitations.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我能夠分辨我的天賦和侷限。
When I loved myself enough I quit answering the telephone when I dont want to talk.
當我足夠愛我自己時，如果我不想說話我就不會去接聽電話。
When I loved myself enough forgiving others became irrelevant.
當我足夠愛我自己時，是否原諒他人就變得無關緊要了。
When I loved myself enough I could remember, during times of confusion, struggle or grief, that these too are part of me and deserve my love.
當我足夠愛我自己時，即使在迷惘、掙扎或悲傷的時刻，我也能記住，這些也是我的一部分，都值得我去愛。
When I loved myself enough I could allow my heart to burst wide open and take in the pain of the world.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我能讓我的心完全敞開，接納世間的苦難。
When I loved myself enough I started picking up litter on the street.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始揀拾路上亂丟的垃圾。
When I loved myself enough I could feel God in me and see God in you. That makes us divine! Are you ready for that?
當我足夠愛我自己時，我能感受到神性在我心中，也能看到你心中的神性。這讓我們變得神聖！你準備好了嗎？
When I loved myself enough I started writing about my life and views because I knew this was my right and my responsibility.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始書寫我的生活和觀點，因為我知道這是我的權利，也是我的責任。
When I loved myself enough I began to see my purpose and gently wean myself from distractions.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始看到我人生的目的，並且慢慢地收心讓自己不再被干擾。
When I loved myself enough I saw that what I resisted persisted like a small child tugging my skirt. Now I am curious and gentle when resistance comes tugging.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我發現我越抗拒的事物越揮之不去，就像個小孩死拉著我的裙子一樣。現在，當讓我想抗拒的事物再次來襲時，我會帶著好奇和溫柔去面對它。
When I loved myself enough I learned to stop what I am doing, if even for a moment, and comfort the part of me that is scared.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我學會了停下手中的一切，哪怕只是一瞬間，去安撫內心感到恐懼的那一部分。
When I loved myself enough I learned to say no when I want to and yes when I want to.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我學會了想說不就說不，想說是就說是。
When I loved myself enough I saw beyond right and wrong and became neutral. At first I thought this was indifference; now I see the clarity that comes with neutrality.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我超越了對錯的界限，變得中立無分別心。起初我以為我這是冷漠；如今我明白中立無分別時才能看清楚事物的本質。
When I loved myself enough I began to feed my hunger for solitude and revel in the inexplicable contentment that is its companion.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始喜歡獨處，並沉浸於伴隨而來的難以言喻的滿足感。
When I loved myself enough I could see how funny life is, how funny I am and how funny you are.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我能看到生活是多麼有趣，我自己是多麼有趣，你又是多麼有趣。
When I loved myself enough I recognized my courage and fear, my naivete and wisdom, and I make a place for each at my table.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我識別到自己的勇氣與恐懼，自己的天真與智慧，並將它們都納入我的心中。
When I loved myself enough I started treating myself to a massage at least once a month.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始至少每個月會去做一次按摩。
When I loved myself enough I realized I am never alone.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我意識到我永遠不會孤單。
When I loved myself enough I stopped fearing empty time and quit making plans. Now I do what feels right and am in step with my own rhythms. Delicious!
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再害怕空閑的時間，也不再擬定計畫。現在我做自己想做的事，並按照我自己的節奏去做。真棒！
When I loved myself enough I quit trying to impress my brother.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再試圖讓我的兄弟對我有好印象。
When I loved myself enough I stopped trying to banish the critical voices from my head. Now I say, “Thank you for your views” and they feel heard. End of discussion.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再試圖驅散腦海中那些批評的聲音。現在我會說“謝謝你的意見”，而且它們也聽到了。就此停止討論。
When I loved myself enough I let the part of me that still misses Kent feel sad instead of trying to stop her from loving him.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我允許內心那個仍然思念肯特的自己去感受悲傷，而不是試圖阻止她繼續愛他。
When I loved myself enough I began buying a hostess fruit pie for the teenager in me who loves them so. Once in a while, cherry.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我偶爾會為內心那個熱愛Hostess牌子出產的水果派的青少女買水果派。買櫻桃口味的。
When I loved myself enough I quit trying to be a savior for others.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再試圖成為別人的救世主。
When I loved myself enough I lost my fear of speaking my truth for I have come to see how good it is.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再害怕說出自己的真實想法，因為我開始明白說真話是很棒的。
When I loved myself enough I began pouring my feelings into my journals. These loving companions speak my language. No translation needed.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始將自己的感受傾注在日記中。這些充滿愛的伙伴懂我的心思，不需要翻譯。
When I loved myself enough I stopped seeking “experts” and started living my life.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再尋求「專家」的幫助，而是開始真正過我自己的生活。
When I loved myself enough I came to see how my anger teaches about responsibility and my arrogance teaches about humility, so I listen to both carefully.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我明白我的憤怒在教會我責任，我的傲慢在教會我謙遜，所以我認真傾聽它們。
When I loved myself enough I started eating organically grown food (except for those occasional fruit pies of course).
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始食用有機食物（當然，除了那些偶爾吃吃的水果派啦）。
When I loved myself enough I could be at ease with the comings and goings of judgement and despair.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我便能坦然面對那些來來去去的評論和失望。
When I loved myself enough I was able to be treated to a $50 haircut and enjoy every minute of it.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我便能心甘情願地花50美元剪個頭髮，並享受其中的每一分鐘。
When I loved myself enough I quit having to be right which makes being wrong meaningless.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再執著於自己是對的，因為這會讓犯錯變得毫無意義。
When I loved myself enough I learned to grieve for the hurts in life when they happen instead of making my heart heavy from lugging them around.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我學會去哀悼生命中遭遇的創傷，而不是讓創傷成為我心裡的沉重負擔。
When I loved myself enough I forgave myself for all the times I thought I wasn’t good enough.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我原諒了我一直以為都是自己不夠好的那些過往。
When I loved myself enough things got real quiet inside, nice. Real nice.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我的內心就變得非常寧靜。這感覺很好，真的很好。
When I loved myself enough I began listening to the wisdom of my body. It speaks so clearly through its fatigue, sensitivities, aversions and hungers.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始傾聽身體的智慧。它清楚地訴說著它的疲憊、敏感、厭惡和飢餓。
When I loved myself enough I quit fearing my fear.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再害怕自己的恐懼。
When I loved myself enough I quit rehashing the past and worrying about the future which keeps me in the present where aliveness lives.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我不再沉湎於過去，也不再擔憂未來，這讓我活在當下，感受生命的活力。
When I loved myself enough I realized my mind can torment and deceive me, but in the service of my heart it is a great and noble ally.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我了解到我的意識會折磨我、欺騙我，但是當心能做主時，意識卻可以成為心的偉大又忠誠的盟友。
When I loved myself enough I began to taste freedom.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我開始覺察到自由的滋味。
When I loved myself enough I found my voice and wrote this little book.
當我足夠愛我自己時，我找到了自己的聲音，並且寫下了這本小書。
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後記： 當作者於1996年完成這本書時，她才52歲。寫完此書後沒幾個月，她就毫無預期的過世了。她的女兒在悲傷中，決定幫她出版這本書。書出版後廣受好評，安撫了很多人的心。
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