網路城邦
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我罪, 我的重罪
2010/10/09 01:53:14瀏覽3229|回應27|推薦136
天主教彌撒一開始便要懺悔:「我向全能的天主和各位教友,承認我思、言、行為上的過失。 (搥胸)我罪,我罪,我的重罪。[(mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa, from Mass of the Roman Catholic Church" Confiteor" ( "I confess")]」

容我也以類犬的方式,向至高無上的"網路之神"懺悔如下:「我向全能的網神和各位網友,承認我思、言、行為上的過失。 (搥胸)我罪,我罪,我的重罪。」許多時候我們想不出錯在哪裡? 但謙卑認罪是種基本的宗教態度。

希望時常笑嘻嘻,音感很棒的菲利浦神父,不要昏倒。

如果說宗教是婆婆心靈平靜與自我鞭策的動力,那麼,說來噁心,當初進來網路,也是為了類似的動機,再加上一股遊興。

結果,我把第一個網友變成愛人,把第二個網友變成讀書會的夥伴。

十多年來,網路只給過這兩個"穩定"關係,根基於一種對於讀書與音樂的同質性熱情。其餘在網路上認識的朋友,就算碰過了面,也總是在生命中輕來去,難再深交。

眼看許多網聚一再開展,最終還是喜歡把閒情窩在高中起便常停駐流連的植物園,一個人走。

年少時對於感情的困惑,都丟向荷花池子餵魚去了。而今任冷風席捲而過,驕陽迤邐而去,都不必費力交談。大腦專注於美感時,呼吸是順暢的,而且有著熟悉且奇怪的單人自在,正如同一個人在電腦前那種選擇路過或不路過誰家的自在

網路是出口,也可以是入口。

常常與我的男人討論無法苟同之事時,總哈哈一笑:「有問題的,可能是我們自己啊!」讀一個人的筆,畢竟不等同於讀心。面對面時,表情口氣加上來了,才知道是否又中了文字障魔咒。網路傾向於增加人與人不必要的摩擦

但我們也太常為自己塑造美好的冷靜的好辯的能幹的可愛的各種網路形象,如此帶著面具靠近另一張面具,也增加了可能失敗的接觸,失去了選擇的自在

當網路上的熟人進入日常生活,是否能夠欣然承受網路與現實的落差?是否能夠以包容家人的心,收納原本看不到的不同調?或是收納了,卻終究有著難以融合的疏離?

對於某些內向的人而言,朋友不在多,而在同步。

有些人就只想是無邊網裡海床上的小石,想偶爾感覺潮流的脈搏,或是與過路的人彼此交換增添一點生活興味。

如果這樣的疏懶與少語的我傷了您的心,我罪,我的重罪。不該讓人錯認是託付心思的好對象,我的心完全留給家人,我把最好的情緒與時間都留給家人。

九月十八日需仁太太玲玲車禍受傷腦部手術,現在仍然在加護病房(Click's Diary.10/07.每天的約會)。閱讀他日日與玲玲的心靈對話,緩緩流瀉的真情,濡濕觀者的心眼。

我更驚覺,是該多放下鍵盤,饒了年老失修的肩背手腕,回頭望望日日相守的家人。

植物園有如台北人的後花園,我繞著相同的主題拍照,不是龍困淺灘,只是為了時時重溫數十年來那不變的,回家的,真實感覺。

↑發生了什麼大事↓都是你、都是你


↓你以為娘天生愛當pretzel啊? 還不是為了要時時回頭老母雞帶小雞

↓通常母子間美好的平靜只維持十秒

↓ㄟ....你要去哪? 

↓嘻嘻, 點子王就是

↓pretzel功有啥難的?

↓擺脫叨叨念的老母雞真好

↓酷涼喔.....

↓噗吱 

↓咦咽 ^__^y

↓咕嚕嚕

↓抓抓

↓我會飛囉!

↓水上飛

↓再來個水面助跑

↓好吧, 飛不起來, 假裝拿蓮蓬划槳....其實我走路還不穩就會游泳了

↓有沒有看到我翅膀一管一管長出來的雞毛撢子?

↓這就是我會有雞毛"膽子"的緣故啦

↓你看隔壁姊姊拍照好做作....什麼鏡花水月哩

↓姿勢很遲鈍咧....太少運動

↓整日搔首弄姿....搞髮型裝扮

↓自我陶醉中

↓也不正眼看人家小夥子我一眼

↓隔壁家的白肚子苦雞母叔叔我最喜歡啦(白腹秧雞)

↓總是笑臉贏人

↓仔細看看, 媽媽說半年前叔叔沒有長落腮鬍啊?

↓不信你看....臉皮是白泡泡的

↓難道是失戀了嘛? 

↓超可憐, 獨自流浪落葉間

↓獨守空房....(這張是遇到陌生杯杯用手機錄的發情音把他叫出來的)

↓何處是我心歸宿? .....(我看你來配我媽吧!)

↓你知道這群"楓子"裡面多了三隻鳥嗎? 

↓看不到? 那這隻總看得到吧?

↓台北的紅葉總在撐著直到冬日盡頭

浮光爺爺常說做人要有愛心

↑愛心, 那得先給家人鄰居

↑白了頭的老嗡嗡分我果子如何?....他不鳥我

(阿鈍詩《麻雀兵兵 )

↑鬼鬼祟祟的伯勞在打量朋友的方向嗎? ....她不鳥我

↑快要看不清楚的五色鳥是在向媽咪告狀嗎? ....她不鳥我

↑↓妙賊小彎嘴畫眉又忙些什麼新花樣? ....她也不鳥我

↓胖呼呼的小綠繡眼有著我的細細叫聲.....他喜歡瞧我

↓還會用可愛的小屁屁"瞧"我

↑↓神出鬼沒卻又無所不在

↓陌生人搭訕常讓鎮定的婆婆心中嚇如驚弓

↑↓深怕美好的旅程就此噎著了

↑孤僻的怪婆婆, 就愛唱獨"腳"戲.....

↑↓婆婆就是看到鵲鴝那天遇到了會叫秧雞的陌生杯杯

(阿鈍詩《四喜兒問》) 

↓如果不是杯杯告訴婆婆啥鳥, 她一定又要查鳥查昏頭

↑那麼到底要不要迎向機會? 

↑機會來時內心需不需要一場地盤混戰? 

↑↓若快活如老仙女翩翩飛起.....

↓會不會被白眉書生蒼鷺笑聲癡?

↑↓近覷遠望各有各的美....不勉強的情誼最美

↑↓經營得當處處是風景(↑凌宵花↓使君子)

↑↓經營不當便等著落花流水

↑↓回家吧, 總是要回家....

 ...那承諾永遠罩著你挺著你滋潤生養你的園地!

( 心情隨筆家庭親子 )
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引用
引用網址:http://classic-blog.udn.com/article/trackback.jsp?uid=albertineproust&aid=4482945

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蠻牛太太蔡湘宜 忙中作樂
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好玩
2011/01/07 09:16

真的好好玩



connie F
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妳的告白也是我的告解
2010/11/04 04:51
 也許 我應該 到台北植物園巧遇些甚麼

天涯孤鴻 (花心)
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全心欣賞~~
2010/10/20 00:41
好欣賞你的攝影 ~~

ono
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文圖並茂,恕妳無罪
2010/10/14 14:09

危險!

「楓子」後面那隻白鷺鷥

好像快要撞牆了

導航的人都在睡覺嗎



Epicurus' Garden
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懺悔:我罪!我的重罪!
2010/10/12 16:17

伏爾泰,八十四歲臨死前,不忘質問為他禱告懺悔的牧師:

「請問是誰叫你來的?」

「是上帝!」

「那麼,請你出示証件,驗明正身,以防假冒。」


philosopher
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摘錄Seneca《論天意》
2010/10/12 15:46

...............

你要明白,好人也應當像這樣行動;他們不應該從艱難困苦中退縮下來,也不應該抱怨命運;他們應當高興地接受發生的一切,並把它轉化為好事。真正重要的不是你承受了什麼,而是你怎麼承受。

...............

對於好人,神明保持著一顆父親般的心,他用男子氣的愛來對待他們,他說:“讓他們受到苦活、遇難、損失的折磨,以便使他們獲得真正的力量。


philosopher
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總之,要堅毅、勇氣及適度的認命態度。
2010/10/12 13:04
學習祭出Stoic哲學:Death smiles at us all, all a man can do is smile back,以此抗拒哀傷。

philosopher
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http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html
2010/10/12 12:56
2. Remember that following desire promises the attainment of that of which you are desirous; and aversion promises the avoiding that to which you are averse. However, he who fails to obtain the object of his desire is disappointed, and he who incurs the object of his aversion wretched. If, then, you confine your aversion to those objects only which are contrary to the natural use of your faculties, which you have in your own control, you will never incur anything to which you are averse. But if you are averse to sickness, or death, or poverty, you will be wretched. Remove aversion, then, from all things that are not in our control, and transfer it to things contrary to the nature of what is in our control. But, for the present, totally suppress desire: for, if you desire any of the things which are not in your own control, you must necessarily be disappointed; and of those which are, and which it would be laudable to desire, nothing is yet in your possession. Use only the appropriate actions of pursuit and avoidance; and even these lightly, and with gentleness and reservation.

philosopher
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The Enchiridion By Epictetus
2010/10/12 12:50
1. Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.

The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you not be harmed.

Aiming therefore at such great things, remember that you must not allow yourself to be carried, even with a slight tendency, towards the attainment of lesser things. Instead, you must entirely quit some things and for the present postpone the rest. But if you would both have these great things, along with power and riches, then you will not gain even the latter, because you aim at the former too: but you will absolutely fail of the former, by which alone happiness and freedom are achieved.

Work, therefore to be able to say to every harsh appearance, "You are but an appearance, and not absolutely the thing you appear to be." And then examine it by those rules which you have, and first, and chiefly, by this: whether it concerns the things which are in our own control, or those which are not; and, if it concerns anything not in our control, be prepared to say that it is nothing to you.

philosopher
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回應:Click's Diary, 10/07, 每天的約會(1)
2010/10/12 12:44

週日,已閱悉此事,未特別探究。今天,又經由其他網友部落格留言板見到“需仁”的大名,似乎老天要我對此事有所回應。

進入Click's Diary, 10/07、作家簡介及9/18車禍受傷腦部手術,直覺就想到:造化弄人。Lady Fortune又轉動她的命運之輪,渺小無力的人類,實在無能為力。網友,除在一旁默默關心外,又能如何呢?

腦海中,轉呀轉的,又想到古羅馬奴隸哲學家Epictetus的名著《Enchiridion 》。其中,最重要的箴言----第一條,上網查找,下載如下,贈給未曾謀面的“需仁”。

Enchiridion of Epictetus

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