首富求婚記

大通銀行老董決定給自己來個度假外交。老董久聞台北十分有趣，於是他決定去該地的分部視察業務。他定了兩張票，一張給自己，另一張給他的小秘。 

到達台北後，老董從總部得到緊急通知: 台灣首富想把他所有的錢存進大通銀行。因為這將是個超級VIP，老董決定親自與台灣首富會面。

翌日，老董和他的小秘包下一家餐廳與首富會見。整個晚餐中，老董用盡方法想把主題引到開立新戶上，但這位準大戶好像只對老董的小秘感興趣。

晚餐後，首富要小秘整個晚上都陪著他看台北夜景。老董不想冒犯這位準大戶，便命令小秘撩下去，並要她使盡外交手法，無論如何也不能因為拒絕而讓他感覺受辱。

在某個舞廳玩了幾個小時後，首富把小秘拉到一旁握住她的手並深情款款的透視入她的眼睛，他告訴她他愛她。然後，他跪下向她求婚。

當然，小秘十分吃驚。但她還記得她老闆的話.. 不得拒人於千里之外。她得想個好法子以打消首富想與她結婚的念頭…

幾分鐘後，小秘說: 我只能在3個條件下與你結婚。第一，我要一枚75 克拉鑽戒，並配個有200克拉鑽石的頭飾。

台灣首富猶疑了一下，回答說: 沒問題! 我買就是, 我買就是。

小秘意識到第一個條件太簡單了，她說: 第2個條件是，在紐約有個100個房間的大廈。渡假別墅嘛.. 得蓋在法國Gironde之中。

首富再猶疑了一下，猛然拿出行動電話，打給在紐約的經紀人，然後他再打給在法國的地產商。他看看這小秘，點點頭說道: OK, OK, 我蓋就是，我蓋就是。

 小秘意識到她只剩最後一招，她必須使出殺手鐧… 她費了不少時間在想…最後她想到了.. 這招一定管用。她半瞇著眼睛看首富，冷冷地說: 我喜歡做愛的事，所以我想要與有12吋大傢伙的人結婚。

首富看來的確被這條件搞亂了。他把臉埋入手中並把手肘放到桌上。他用台語嘀嘀咕咕半天…首富搖搖頭.. 最後.. 終於.. 看起來似乎非常沮喪地對小秘說: OK! 我切短一點就是，我切短一點就是… 

The president of Chase Manhattan Bank decides he should take a vacation/business trip. Since the president has heard how much fun Taipei is, he decides to visit the offices there. He books two tickets, one for him and one for his secretary.

After his arrival in Taipei, the president receives an urgent message from headquarters that the richest man in Taiwan wants to put all his money into a Chase Manhattan account. Since the account would be quite substantial, the president decides to meet personally with the man.

The next day, the president and his secretary go to meet the Taiwanese at an exclusive restaurant. Throughout the dinner, the president tries to bring up the subject of opening the new account but the prospective client only seems interested in the president's secretary.

After dinner, the businessman asks the secretary to spend the rest of the evening seeing the sights in Taipei with him. Not wishing to offend the prospective client, the president orders his secretary to go ahead but tells her that she must be diplomatic and under no circumstances is she to insult the man by rejecting him outright.

After going to a dance club for a few hours, the businessman takes the secretary aside. As he holds her hand and looks her straight into her eyes, he tells her that he loves her. Then, he gets on his knees and asks her to marry him.

Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her. Don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her.

So, after a few minutes, the woman says: "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara."

The Taiwanese man pauses for awhile then, with a nod of his head, answers: "No problem!! I buy. I buy."

Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says, "My second condition is a 100 room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the Gironde in France."

The man pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone, calls some brokers in New York, then he calls some real estate agents in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build, I build."

Realizing that she has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think and finally, she gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like to have sex, I want the man I marry to have a 12-inch penis."

The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face in his hands and rests his elbows on the table. All the while, he's muttering something in Chinese.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the man shakes his head, looking real sad, says to the woman,

"OK. I cut. I cut."