不想當討人厭的長輩？退休後備好「4老」不成為另一半及家人累贅          

70多歲的吳伯伯，60歲從職場退休後，常獨自一人到處旅遊，早年與妻子離婚的他，常換女友，平時最喜歡的娛樂就是到舞廳「蹦D」（即去跳迪斯可），但夜深人靜時常感寂寞，一想到兒女都有歸屬，常覺得不甘心，認為他們擁有的一切都是他給予的，現在也該回饋，因此，他沒事就找兒女碴，經常引爆家庭衝突，原以為退休後生活可溫馨美滿，沒想到卻成了家庭中的不定時炸彈。

情緒勒索、過度追求娛樂…退休卻成「最討厭的長輩」 開業精神科醫師楊聰財表示，台灣進入高齡社會，沒有足夠的認知就退休的人，比比皆是，成為兒女嘴中最討厭的長輩。不管是情緒勒索，還是過度追求娛樂，背後都是這群退休後的人們失去生活重心的表現，對周邊人的要求，都是他們找尋生活重心的浮木。

退休等於是人生的重大轉捩點，不過，許多人認為退休等於享清福的開始。楊聰財說，有太多人沒有認清退休應該要先做好準備，反而每天期待退休的到來，退休後的前半年通常都是快樂且無憂的，等到半年過後，各種課題才會接踵而來。

楊聰財認為，退休是人生轉捩點中「最具挑戰性」的變化，過往面對生活的變動，學生時期的失戀、考試挫敗、家庭失和等，都有機會可以轉移注意力，不去正視問題本身。屏除受教育的時間，職場算是人們花費最多時間的場域，包括婚姻有問題也可以逃到工作，工作常是逃避問題的避難所，而退休則是逃避工作的最終站，工作上的不滿意，都推到「等到退休後就沒事了」。

如果過去人生的生活重心，是用「逃避」的方式面對，並高度期待退休將會有美好世界的方式面對退休，一定會面臨到退休後失去生活重心的難題。 楊聰財說，退休後若情緒開始焦慮，或空虛寂寞感導致憂鬱都是警訊。

有些人會情緒勒索兒女沒事找碴、有些人開始管另外一半、有些人捻花惹草無節制追求欲望、有些人則懶散在家只懂得看電視，長期下來，都會增加憂鬱症發生的機率。

退休準備：老友、老本、老狗、老伴 避免下半輩子成為「討人厭的老人」，楊聰財認為，得先找到退休後的生活重心，思考過去在職場上的競爭感，是不是自己喜歡的，退休後能夠捨棄這種競爭嗎？

如果不能捨棄，退休後可以從哪些地方獲得？

如繼續擔任公司顧問，或嘗試做其他的工作，如果討厭工作，可以靜下心找尋退休後可培養的興趣，或找尋新的挑戰，如跑馬拉松、烹飪、繪畫、一人旅遊等。

楊聰財表示，退休後的人生不可能在退休那一天就變得完美，未來的每一天是奠定在今天與過去，要有好的退休生活，得提早準備，包括金錢、健康、人際關係、心靈滿足及自我成長等面向，與任何的人生階段都相同。尤其退休後的人際關係非常重要，很多人退休後就變成「老宅男／女」，待在家不出門，久了生活就會變得狹隘，也會增加失智症的發生。

楊聰財的友人，有人退休後，積極參與擔任志工，活出不一樣的生活方式，也有些人追求年輕時沒有辦法完成的夢想，如組樂團等。

這些都需要提早規畫，如果等到退休後，才發現生活不如想像中的美好，又沒有察覺並做出改變，常常就會成為家人的拖油瓶，被討厭的老人。

https://health.gvm.com.tw/article/66643

Kenny Rogers - Coward Of The County (Audio)

Everyone considered him the coward of the county

Hed never stood one single time to prove the county wrong

His mama named him Tommy, but folks just called him Yellow

But something always told me, they were reading Tommy wrong

He was only ten years old when his daddy died in prison

I looked after Tommy, cause he was my brothers son

I still recall the final words my brother said to Tommy

"Son, my life is over, but yours has just begun"

"Promise me, son, not to do the things Ive done

Walk away from trouble if you can

Now it wont mean youre weak if you turn the other cheek

I hope youre old enough to understand

Son, you dont have to fight to be a man"

Theres someone for everyone and Tommys love was Becky

In her arms, he didnt have to prove he was a man

One day while he was working, the Gatlin boys came calling

They took turns at Becky an there was three of them

Tommy opened up the door and saw Becky crying

The torn dress, the shattered look was more than he could stand

He reached above the fireplace and took down his daddys picture

As his tears fell on his daddys face, he heard these words again

"Promise me, Son, not to do the things Ive done

Walk away from trouble if you can

Now it wont mean youre weak if you turn the other cheek

I hope youre old enough to understand

Son, you dont have to fight to be a man"

The Gatlin boys just laughed at him when he walked into the bar room

One of them got up and met him half way cross the floor

When Tommy turned around they said, "Hey look! Old Yellows leaving"

But you couldve heard a pin drop when Tommy stopped and locked the door

Twenty years of crawling was bottled up inside him

He wasnt holding nothing back, he let em have it all

When Tommy left the bar room, not a Gatlin boy was standing

He said, "This ones for Becky", as he watched the last one fall

And I heard him say

"I promised you, Dad, not to do the things youve done

I walk away from trouble when I can

Now please dont think Im weak, I didnt turn the other cheek

And Papa, I should hope you understand

Sometimes you gotta fight when youre a man"

Everyone considered him the coward of the county

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRpV0GePYeM