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2010/01/18 19:25:14瀏覽993|回應1|推薦5 | |
Now is my winter vacation. Good news is I can take a rest legally , bad news is I have no plain of relaxation because I don't know how to do it. I was tormented by depression for long time that I hardly recognized what is pleased and pure pleasure. I was considering doing something worth, but when I considered, nothing is worth for me. The value or worth is base on worldly thoughts, not my feeling or my stance. I don't want to write more stories or novels that no worth for single award, money and reputation. After all, I couldn't get those what I want. I don't want to learn more like listening English teaching program, repeat vocabularies and join any curriculum just for fun because I hate the examinations for English and I know I couldn't pass it unless I follow the step of cram school or any step that made for those examinations.This random note I've written and you are seeing is what I learned for testes and wish one day I can leave Taiwan, go abroad or something. But now, that doesn't matter. Just like I can't get an award and prize that let me buy anything I want, I can't leave here right now and go, live any place I like. People said the life is fragile because you don't know how, when, where you die. I said the life is fixed even if it have sort of unpredictable elements because......for me, all the same, bad day. |
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( 心情隨筆|雜記 ) |