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海倫‧凱勒:The Story of My Life (28)
2009/05/08 19:01:14瀏覽1232|回應0|推薦9

CHAPTER IX

我生命中第二件重大的事是去波士頓,那是在1888年的五月。行前的準備、我與老師和母親一起出發、旅程以及抵達,這些印象我想起來都還像昨天才發生那樣鮮明。這次旅行和我兩年前去巴爾的摩那趟很不同;在火車上,我不再是一個需要煩勞大家專心照料、逗樂那樣容易激動和焦躁不安的小傢伙。我安靜的坐在蘇利文老師旁邊,興趣十足的聽她描述路過的窗景:美麗的田納西河、開闊的棉花田、山丘和樹林,還有車站月台上一些微笑的黑人小販;他們會對車上的人揮車致意,然後遞上糖果、蜜餞或爆米花。我的布娃娃南茜,穿戴新的格條紋棉衣和有褶皺的闊邊遮陽帽,坐在我對面的位子張大眼珠看我。有時,我不能專心聽講的時候會想起它孤伶伶的坐在那裡,也就會把它抱起來擁在懷裡安慰,不過,我通常會說服自己相信它是睡著,這樣讓我自己不會覺得無情而不安。

因為我將不會再談到南茜的事,所以我想先再說說它在我們抵達波士頓不久後,遭受的不幸。那時候它身上多有髒物….它當然不會表示喜不喜歡,或著特別喜歡我給它吃的什麼東西,可是我就是會強迫餵它食物,這樣,它身上就到處沾染泥漬。所以,柏金斯盲聾學校的洗衣婦偷偷的把它拿去洗,啊,可憐的南茜,真慘,我再次看到它的時候一點兒也不認得,它走樣了變成一堆棉花,只剩下一雙眼珠子還在那裡責備的望著我。

火車終於駛進波士頓,那當兒,對我來說好像一個美妙的童話故事變成真的了;「從前,從前….」就是現在,「在一個遙遠的好地方」就在我腳下喔….

我們才到柏金斯盲聾學校,我就開始和那些小盲童交朋友。當我知道他們會使用聾啞人用的手語時,我高興得實在無法形容;啊,真要命,能夠和其他小朋友用我們自己的語言交談,是多麼大的快樂啊。直到那時,我都像是一個外國人,需要透過翻譯者才能談話。在蘿菈‧布里基曼曾經接受教育的這個學校,也是我自己應許的國度;所以,我好一會兒都在感激我有了這些盲眼的新朋友。我知道我自己是盲童,可是,我不覺得在我身旁環聚並且和我的歡樂熱誠連結的,全部的這些充滿熱心和愛意的孩童也是瞎的….我記得我感受到的驚訝和痛苦,當我察覺到我和他們說話的時候他們伸出手放在我手上,而且用手指讀書。雖然以前我已經被告知這樣的事,而我也明白自己被剝奪而缺陷的,可是我含糊的認為因為他們有聽覺能聽所以一定會有敏捷的直覺或洞察力,我也沒有心理準備會遇到一個,另一個,什麼還有另一個同樣也是被剝奪了珍貴天賦能力的孩童。但是,他們是那樣的快樂和滿足,他們給予我的友誼使我那樣愉快,我的痛苦感覺就消失得無影無蹤。

THE next important event in my life was my visit to Boston, in May, 1888. As if it were yesterday I remember the preparations, the departure with my teacher and my mother, the journey, and finally the arrival in Boston. How different this journey was from the one I had made to Baltimore two years before! I was no longer a restless, excitable little creature, requiring the attention of everybody on the train to keep me amused. I sat quietly beside Miss Sullivan, taking in with eager interest all that she told me about what she saw out of the car window: the beautiful Tennessee River, the great cotton-fields, the hills and woods, and the crowds of laughing negroes at the stations, who waved to the people on the train and brought delicious candy and popcorn balls through the car. On the seat opposite me sat my big rag doll, Nancy, in a new gingham dress and a beruffled sunbonnet, looking at me out of two bead eyes. Sometimes, when I was not absorbed in Miss Sullivan's descriptions, I remembered Nancy's existence and took her up in my arms, but I generally calmed my conscience by making myself believe that she was asleep.  

As I shall not have occasion to refer to Nancy again, I wish to tell here a sad experience she had soon after our arrival in Boston. She was covered with dirt–the remains of mud pies I had compelled her to eat, although she had never shown any special liking for them. The laundress at the Perkins Institution secretly carried her off to give her a bath. This was too much for poor Nancy. When I next saw her she was a formless heap of cotton, which I should not have recognized at all except for the two bead eyes which looked out at me reproachfully.  

When the train at last pulled into the station at Boston it was as if a beautiful fairy tale had come true. The "once upon a time" was now; the "far-away country" was here.  

We had scarcely arrived at the Perkins Institution for the Blind when I began to make friends with the little blind children. It delighted me inexpressibly to find that they knew the manual alphabet. What joy to talk with other children in my own language! Until then I had been like a foreigner speaking through an interpreter. In the school where Laura Bridgman was taught I was in my own country. It took me some time to appreciate the fact that my new friends were blind. I knew I could not see; but it did not seem possible that all the eager, loving children who gathered round me and joined heartily in my frolics were also blind. I remember the surprise and the pain I felt as I noticed that they placed their hands over mine when I talked to them and that they read books with their fingers. Although I had been told this before, and although I understood my own deprivations, yet I had thought vaguely that since they could hear, they must have a sort of "second sight," and I was not prepared to find one child and another and yet another deprived of the same precious gift. But they were so happy and contented that I lost all sense of pain in the pleasure of their companionship.

( 心情隨筆心靈 )
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