A Sugarcane’s Words Hsu ChiCheng
I am a tall sugarcane,
With a snow-white cotton cap on my head.
From a tiny seed,
From a young plant,
To a tall and strong sugarcane,
--I keep growing;
I keep ripening..
Please begin with my root
When you eat and chew me,
And my sweet taste will be better and better.
My top is good food for cows!
My leaves are fertilizer after rotted!
My body can be sugared!
My bagasse can be used as fertilizer or firewood!
--I am determined to devote myself to human being,
And don’t care about whether you eat up my flesh or drink up my blood.
I am a tall sugarcane,
With a snow-white cotton cap on my head.
World of Poets 2013/12/2
The life of the sugarcane, with a cotton cap on it's head.
Charming story Hsu, I think this could be used, for small
children as a song, then they would learn all about the sugarcane.
You don't need eat as well as chew, chew is enough.
My taste will get better and better,
Top= ? flower, we would use a more specific word here I think,
perhaps spire, like a church.
Not sure what you mean by " My body can be sugared" ?
You've already said a lot about the sugar, no need for more.
"bagasse" I had to look up, it fits exactly.
the last line of that part could be reworded,
something like you're welcome to eat my flash(no need for up)
and drink my essence-or blood if you want.
I love this tall sugar cane with its white cotton cap.
What lovely illustrations could be made for the story/song,
Margaret Ann
World of Poets 2013/12/02
Hsu responded:
Dear Margaret Ann,
Sure!" this could be used, for small children as a song, " for it's a child poem. Many thanks.
And chew, sure! But we chew it for drink the sugarcane's sweet water, it may be eaten or drunk. For this reason I used the word"eat". As to "My body can be sugared", the body is really the cane. The sugar is sugared from it....And some more details I wrote...Above all,
"--I am determined to devote myself to human being,
And don’t care about whether you eat up my flesh or drink up my blood.'
That's what I want to say in my mind.
Thanks again, Dear Margaret Ann.
World of Poets 2013/12/03
中文原詩如后:
甘蔗的話 許其正
我是一枝修長的甘蔗，
頭上戴著一頂雪白的棉花帽。
從嫩苗長成粗幹；
從一葉葉的凋落而現出一節節；
從柔弱變成堅實。
——我不斷地生長；
我不斷地成熟。
當你啃吃，
先由尾，
我的甜味便會次第增加。
蔗尾飼牛去！
蔗葉蓋厝、燒火、作肥料去！
身幹榨糖去！
渣滓燒火、製蔗板、做肥料去！
——任你撕去身心吸去血，
我只是一心想貢獻給人類！
我是一枝修長的甘蔗，
頭上戴著一頂雪白的棉花帽。
字體：小 中 大
human beingS, or a human being?
You don't need eat UP, eat is enough, and as you've already said eat in this poem it might be better to use just chew in the earlier mention of it. And eat comes again lower down, too much repetition, specially in so short a poem, isn't good.
An example: You may drink my and consume my flesh.
You may enjoy my flesh and drink my blood.
That's enough from me??
Its just the English meaning in it that was a little unclear Hsu!
Margaret Ann
World of Poets 2013/12/04
Hsu respoded again:
Dear Margaret Ann,
1.Yes. "Human beings" is the correct one. I made a mistake in clicking the letter. Thanks your proof.
2.I think "eat" and "chew" are not the same in meaning. Generally, "eat" swallows all the things (food), but "chew" may spit the dregs.
3.As to "eat up", "You may enjoy my flesh and drink my blood" may be the best sentence. I emphasized "to devote all myself to human beings", so I wrote "eat up".