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Nervous
2008/12/12 23:56:19瀏覽422|回應2|推薦9
Hi, NiuNiu

These days, I am very nervous, and of course, very hard to control myself.  I am so sorry that I shouted at you and YiYi many times.

You both are so different, different things make me worried from your birth till .......ah, endless...

When I was little, I played by myself very often.  One day, I saw two kids in the sky, one in blue, one in pink.  They flew and turned their faces to me, smiled....I never forgot it.  I remember when YiYi was about two years old, she told me one day, she said, mom, I was in the sky, I saw you were crying, so I came to protect you.  And even when you were about the same age, you told me the same thing, you said, mom, I was in the sky, I saw you were not happy, so I came to make you happy.   And I was so protected by YiYi, and also I was so happy because of you.  So you kept your promise to come to me, protect me, and make me happy.

I do not know when I was changed, so easy to be nervous, and ridiculous behaviour happened very often.  I could hardly sit on the chair for the dentist checking my teeth.  I was shaking when I went to the hospital for some test.  I need to check windows, doors, oven, stove many times at night.  And I was very easy to give you a poker face even you have 19/20 mark......it is so ridiculous......

Especially for this big exam coming  tomorrow.  The city bus still take their strike, so no buses, I need to ask someone to take us to the church on time.  And cancel all YiYi's students on Saturday afternoon.  And I do not even know we can go to the teacher's place for the last review.   I almost exhausted. 

Your Huei mommy always asks me, must relax, do not be angry at you, take more rest.... I don't know if she is your "real" mom, what she would do?  Or will you be happier and work harder with her?  You and me are not sure, right?

I need to recall the memories about "myself".  I was a child who can talk to nobody all day long; I was a girl that can stay at home, go nowhere for whole summer vacation; I can easily ignore anybody I was not interested in; I can read at the bookstores without eating anything all day.....where am "I" now?
I have been lost for a long time.......

After tonight, after tomorrow, I need to take more rest....
By the way, you need to return books to the library on Sunday, and please give them to YiYi if you can not go, she can help.  And we will go to see Lene's family Sunday night to say good bye to them.  And maybe Sunday morning we will go to Katarina and Igor's house to chant together.
So many things to remind, so many things to do......
I really need a break....

Good luck......

Love~
mom

 


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引用網址:https://classic-blog.udn.com/article/trackback.jsp?uid=angelhohoho&aid=2468379

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Uncle Fat
等級:8
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You're a wonderful mom.
2008/12/13 18:00

Yor're so brave to say sorry to your kids and it's so warm that  your kids want to pretect you. Enjoy true love in your true life and take more care about yourself.  By the way,  if you have chance, try to do some volunteer works, maybe you'll find that life is more easy and simple. That's just what I'm doing now. 

angelhohoho(angelhohoho) 於 2008-12-14 07:46 回覆:
I has volunteered the school library for years, and community.  Now I open for a small home daycare.
I know it will make us happier and really help some relationship with others. 
I think I got emotional actions because of the big piano exams. though it is not for me. 
Being a mother, ah, I just could not stop worried about my kids. 
My children even said, mom, you are not only 單親媽媽, you are 擔心媽媽, too.
哈 單親媽媽+擔心媽媽=?
牙牙學語的時候,如果我不叫她們媽媽,她們就不會叫我媽媽.
一樣的,如果做錯事,我不跟她們說sorry, 那她們做錯事,也不會跟我說sorry.
這就是因果啊
你說對不對
angel


盒子
等級:7
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我也會
2008/12/13 16:24

雖然讀過N本親子教養書籍

可是,有時難免有情緒,我也會對孩子大小聲

盒子也來趁機懺悔一下吧!


http://www.books.com.tw/exep/assp.php/soking/
angelhohoho(angelhohoho) 於 2008-12-14 07:50 回覆:
盒子媽媽
真的喔
我們真的是年齡到了
你看我的更年期
碰到我女兒的Teen和Pre-teen
(現在不只Teen麻煩,Pre-teen也很麻煩)
兩三個暴風圈一起刮
天啊
所以懺悔是一定要的啦
修行修行
這本媽媽經
我們一起加油吧

angel