突然一陣冷颼颼的風吹進三民派出所裡，所有的人瞬間抓緊剛配來的新制服外套。就算不好看，也要假裝很喜歡，天天穿著它上班。

阿龍：幹，誰把門打開啊！

一個金頭髮穿著短袖短褲的人走進來，

Mr. Benson: Hello does someone can help?

員警A: 欸斗…（搔搔頭）

阿龍：欸，阿菜，關門啦！足冷欸捏！

新來的菜鳥行政警察總是被派去坐最靠近門口的辦公桌接待來洽公的民眾。菜鳥都被叫阿菜…

Mr. Benson: I just lost my International Driving Permit, can you help me?

阿菜心理OS: 幹，早知道老師上課認真一點。

阿菜：no understand…wait…欸斗，揪斗媽跌…撒哇迪咖…

B大：洗勒公蝦毀？阿菜你在幹嘛？伊係誰？

阿菜：學長，阿德阿斗仔阿，挖…挖聽無…（阿菜摸摸頭，感覺有點尷尬）

Mr. Benson: English? Anyone can speak English? 中文，我，一點點。

B大：夕阿，挖嘛聽無…龍哥～！（龍哥沒有聽見）阿菜，去報告龍哥。

阿菜：喔。

這時候大家都圍了過來，還以為發生什麼事。

Benson一直解釋：card, drive car, 車…然後一直用手比著卡片的手勢，但是沒有人懂。

阿龍：靠夭咧，公英文…

連龍哥自己也不大懂英文，每次薦送上主管級英文課他都求人事放水不要叫他去。

這時候裡面走來一個綁馬尾的員警：龍哥，我帶小陳出去巡邏囉！

Mr. Benson: (朝從裡面走出來的女員警招手)Hi! Do you remember me?

猛男宜靜看了一眼，思索了一下：我好像在哪看過這個男的？

宜靜身高180,長得比其他的男員警壯，一臉帥氣的臉，有時候又很酷，所以同事都叫她猛男宜靜。

宜靜：Errr…Can I help you?

Mr. Benson: Thanks god! How are you? Hmm.. I think I just lost my international driver permit, how can I close that one and apply the new one? Or should I do something? Can you find my license for me? I just know this house is police station…

宜靜，學弟你先後面坐一下。

員警Ｃ：是，學姐。

（阿菜朝Ｃ吐了一個鬼臉）

宜靜：Over here, Mr…?

Mr. My name is Benson.

宜靜把班森領到一個記筆錄用的桌子，然後示意阿菜裝兩杯茶過來。

Mr. Benson: International Driving Permit.

宜靜: a Permit? What Permit?

Mr. Benson: Driving Permit, license, your know?

宜靜: Oh yeah, Drive license…

“first, I need to know your whole name, do you bring your passport? And when, where you found your license is gone?”

Mr. Emmm, I didn’t know, maybe when I climbed 柴山?

宜靜：oh, that’s terrible, it’s hardly be found… maybe the monkey took it.

班森：（笑了一下）I guess so.

宜靜：Anywhere you remember you’ve been to before you go to the mountain or after? Did you remember the location you may put the license there?

班森：I went to the clubs near the love river at night.

宜靜：Which one?

班森：I…I don’t know, I think I went to 2 or 3 club a night…

宜靜：and you know the name of clubs?

班森：Sorry…

宜靜：That’s ok, alright, it doesn’t matter. I think we had better get a new one.

班森：ok, but how?

宜靜：Wait a minute. 阿菜，監理站怎麼回應補發新國際駕照和掛失的事？問好了沒阿？

阿菜：有，我印好公路總局的申請資料了。

宜靜接過紙張：喂～哩每ㄏ一ㄠˋ印英文欸ㄏ一ㄡˋ，是要我翻譯逆？！

宜靜只好一步一步驟地教班森怎麼去監理站申請補發。

“Oh you can go to the website of Directorate General of Highways, MOTC (交通部公路總局), you can choose the language. Here, find the Motor Vehicles Division(監理組), which Administrative District you live? You go to the Motor Vehicles Office nearby. Remember bring your passport and resident permit(居留證), 2 photos used for ID, the new one, don’t use the old photo! And your driving license of your country, and it coast 250 NT$. Don’t forget The office time is from 8:00 to 17:30. At mean time, they will cancel your old Driving Permit that you’ve lost. I think 2 or 3 days the new one will be OK, they will contact you to take your new license. OK? “

班森: OK! I got it, thanks very much. By the way, I think your colleagues should practice English, I even can’t talk to them!

宜靜：thanks for the advice, we will think about it, but don’t forget, here, Taiwan, the land where you standing on, is a Chinese country called Republic of China, we speak Chinese, maybe you should practice your Chinese. Anyway, have a good time.  

B大：學姐猛欸！

宜靜：阿哩不是聽有？

B大：阿斗，不會講啦…

宜靜：學著講啦！每天只會上靠北長官看八卦，無聊！哪天我不在喔，屋頂都要翻了，還會被投訴，丟臉。學弟，不要偷懶，走了！阿菜，物品遺失通報案件填一填喔，不然我叫龍哥…

阿菜：是！學姐！

阿龍：好了好了，死阿斗仔離開了，回去做自己的事，下午換班以前把你們手上案子給我寫完交過來。

B大：呼～警報解除。

其實這篇是為了今年試辦的基礎訓練公務實用英語劇本